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I'm so tired!



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7diamonds




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 27 2006, 9:36 am
Hi fellow working mothers.

I have been working outside the home since my last (7th) child turned 1. In order to afford the tuition, etc. I had to get a job and now I have a great career that I enjoy very much, which has become a full and over- time job.

But, I am so tired. I am not talking about needing a rest. I am talking about, emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted. It has been 7 1/2 years since I have had more than a 2 week break from work and in the last 4 years my job has been increasingly challenging and stressful.
I can't quit for many reasons, including the money, which is great, B"H.

Sooo, does anyone have any tips on anything specific I can do to relieve the stress. Even if you don't, this is probably more of a venting than anything, so any kind words will accomplish a lot. Thanks for listening.
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shmoozer




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 27 2006, 9:51 am
wow! working out of the house with 1 kid is so hard for me... I can just imagine what it means for you!
My mother was a working woman all her life, and I remember one thing she always did when the going got tought. She never pressured herself with the housework. If need be, she ordered take out suppers, took another [cleaner], and at one point we had a live-in, or anything else to take the housework off her head so much. Of course my father was very supportive, so that helped.
You have to realize that you are only human and there are only 24 hours in a day - is what my mother always used to tell me. If you can't clean then kitchen - then the dirt won't run away! She never took anything as a pressure.
I hope I helped you in some way!
good luck!
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 27 2006, 10:20 am
I always worked hard, very hard,and always full time. DH helps some, but it';s not easy for either of us.

You have to streamline - make sure all your laundry loads are full, do dishes once etc.

PM me if you have any specific issues to discuss.
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7diamonds




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 27 2006, 11:43 am
Uh oh, now I really feel like a kvetch.
I am tired from my job-not just because I am also a working mother.
I have live-in help and some of my children are already away at Yeshiva etc, although one of my children at home is a special "challenge" and has weighed me down with anxiety for some time.
It is really the job stress that is draining me. (of course, if I stop working I will have to get rid of the nanny and NO WAY will I go back to doing 5 loads of laundry a day, etc.)
In an ideal world LOL I would have no job AND a nanny. Then I would have NOOOOOOOOO stress at all. (do I sound too self-pitying?-if so, tell me)!
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 27 2006, 11:49 am
Quote:
although one of my children at home is a special "challenge" and has weighed me down with anxiety for some time.


I hope this wont make you feel bad because I understand you are having a hard time working so many hours etc... but don't you think your child can be acting this way because he need to be with his mommy more? Maybe this is his/her way of getting more attention from you since you are so busy with work.
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7diamonds




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 27 2006, 12:16 pm
I wish!

Actually he has NLD (non-verbal learning disorder), not the regular children acting up issues-he is a loving and happy child except in his frustration with other kids who make fun of him and teachers who refuse to accomodate his issues. I, B"H, work for a boss who lets me take off any time there is a problem and deal with my son, and if I didn't work, I could not afford the thousands of dollars we have to spend on his social skills educator etc.

I have spent time with his therapist discussing this issue, to make sure that this is okay for him, and it B"H is not detrimental to him. You don't know me, but his therapist and principal all agree that I am 100% dedicated and aware of my child's needs (unlike so many others they say hide from their childrens' issues) and if for a moment I thought that working was hurting him, I would quit.

I appreciate what you are saying, and I know that part of the reason I need a long break is because of this son's issues, but he is not suffering because of my working-if anything, he is maturing, because on occasion when I am not home for supper on time, etc. he takes over and it is healthy for him to take such a participatory role in the home and feel accomplished.
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 27 2006, 12:22 pm
Quote:
I have spent time with his therapist discussing this issue, to make sure that this is okay for him, and it B"H is not detrimental to him. You don't know me, but his therapist and principal all agree that I am 100% dedicated and aware of my child's needs


thats amazing! you sound like you are a great mother:)
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7diamonds




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 27 2006, 12:35 pm
not necessary, but thanks!
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goldrose




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 27 2006, 1:17 pm
7diamonds, it just occurred to me what your name represents, and with a name like that I wouldn't doubt your dedication and devotion to your children. Feel good and may Hashem give you the strength to cope!
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7diamonds




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 27 2006, 1:42 pm
Thank you all. That is just the type of chizuk I need right now.
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sarahd




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 28 2006, 2:46 pm
Could you make time to go once a week or twice a month for a massage, facial or some such pampering? You'd have an hour or sp of quiet, relaxing time for yourself and a massage, especially, could relieve some of your stress.
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chen




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 30 2006, 12:37 pm
Sounds like you could use a week or two of "respite care". Is there any way you can get off from work for that length of time (even if you have to take it w/o pay) and give yourself a real vacation--maybe even just with dh and w/o the children?
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7diamonds




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 30 2006, 12:52 pm
As I said, I have taken off at least 2x a year for a week or 10 days. But, even when I am away (with hubby and no kids) my cell is connected to the office and I still have the stress of what is happening over there and have to take calls and deal with "stuff". It is never a FULL vacation, even though we do go to nice places like Florida, California and Europe.
THis job was supposed to finished by Dec last year and I was soooo looking forward to at least 2 months of respite. I decided that because of all the strain, I would wait to find a new job. But, the job is not finished yet and won't be until around Pesach-
I guess I was venting because I still can't rest yet!
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raizy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 01 2006, 9:15 pm
what do u do. ? do u self contract yourselve out?or are u in a secatery job?

yes sometimes jobs can be very stressfull. exspeically when u have to deal with other pple.

maybe take a short break here and there. to recharge your batteries. I do that. I dont work on fridays this year and it really helped me alot.
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AweSumThenSum




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 11 2006, 8:49 pm
I think it's vital for u to take some "me" time every single day, and it's on the days that u dont have time for it when it's the most important. take 15 minutes off to just sit and drink a coffee, watch some tv, or talk on the fone, or take a quick shower or if u have time, a short bath. and of course, u need to let ur children know that this time is ur own and they cannot come to u during those minutes.
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