"Loving Leah" | Imamother

Ima2NYM_LTR

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 10:18 pm

I am watching and will post pertinent points to a Jewish viewer (not a total summary) when done. I am doing this not for an argument, but jut so we all know what its about.

While it is Hollywood-style inacruate...the total rudeness and lack of respect that was shown on the view is not anywhere in the movie. it seems like the typical "bunch of mistakes" which is bad enough, but not in any way "out to get us" I other words...not horrendous

I will post the ply by play later

de_goldy

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 10:27 pm

Are you watching it online somewhere? If yes, please share a link.

greenfire

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 10:35 pm

it's on tv

Ima2NYM_LTR

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 11:01 pm

NOT MEANT TO BE A TOTAL SUMMARY

Starts off with obviously young, handsome successful dr…falls asleep and sees stereotypical Hollywood-version Chossid wearing a tallis (although this could just be because it’s a dream, not because the producers think all Jewish men walk around in a tallis) he later mentions to his girlfriend (who is talking about a church wedding) that his brother is a ‘religious rabbi” who he hasn’t spoken to in 6 years and he just had a dream about him. Then he gets THE CALL from his mom.

Cut to cemeraty scene, where random kids are brought and just left outside the gate. The brother and mother (also reform) come and the mother is dressed in a short dress. Men and women are separated at funeral. Coffin is correctly plain. Eulogy isn’t so bad in terms of appropriateness (short for Hollywood reasons) Clothes are ripped, and explained properly (but basically)

No one talks at shiva, but food is pushed on everyone. Everyone speaks rudely and loudly about the reform brother and mother in their hearing.

Leahs mother and sister live in same building as her.

Brother says that the dead brother always saw him as sinful. Talk about “persons soul finds the one they love to say goodbye” and that he didn’t find her.

Yibum described, but then he is told that it is not performed. Told to wait 3 months to make sure not preg, then chalitzah.

Stereotypical sister of Leah with 3 young kids and looks 10 months pregnant. Mother is already going to shadchan before chalitzah.

Leah looking into college, sister discourages “how will you tell mama?”

Chalizah described in offhand way. “to shame the brother for not building up he brothers house, for he shall be forgotten now that no offspring shall be raised in his name.”

Leah sneaks off to movies. Comes home to find mother ‘invited over’ a friend of the family (male) to get reacquainted with.

Flashback to younger brothers, with the frum one just starting his journey (mid teens) Gives brother a Chamsa, then says a ‘prayer for blessing the artifact”

Brothers girlfriend asks before chalitzah “is Leah pretty” he responds “pretty religious” girlfriend encourages that he keep in touch with her after, since she is family.

Leah tells mother going to college, mother freaks out. Mother said she had been a good wife and could be again. Leah answers “I always though marriage could be something more” answer: “your living in a fantasy world” but rest of answer fairly good, answers aren’t about what in the movies, more about spiritual.

Chalitzah done. Not sure if done correctly because I have never seen it done.
He chickens out at the end when he has to ‘deny his brothers existence” Says he has denied his brothers existence too long, Proposes a sham marriage, she agrees, but tells him they will have to maintain fiction of traditional marriage (so she can go to college).

She moves to DC to be with him (implied that marriage already taken place). Mother not pleased, daughter tries to snow her with “maybe this is G-ds plan” doesn’t work.

She sees capital bldg and asks “who lives there” Don’t worry, it was only a joke! She was pulling his leg.

New apt much larger, no mezuzah, a mess, huge tv, exercise equipment, etc. In other words totally different world. No kosher food in the apt obviously. He apologetically says “Im not religious” and she says “how you chose to live is between you and HIM” He is worried that his lifestyle will offend her and wants to make sure she is comfortable. But then he changes his shirt in front of her. She is obviously uncomfortable.

By next AM, kitchen partially kashered, new dishes, mezuzahs on doors, food made, house cleaned etc.

Yes, the outfits in this movie are ugly.

Sheitlel described (to cleaning lady) “our real hair should excite anyone other than our husbands” Becomes friendly w/ outgoing cleaning lady.

Lights candles nicely, and obviously with joy re: Shabbos, but he isn’t home for dinner.

Goes to closest shul (not Shabbos, I think)…but is reform. Rabbi “Gerry” is a woman. Reiterates that Yibum is never done anymore. She confides in “Rabbi Gerry” that she is lonely.

Goes to Shabbos dinner at reform shul. The “Rabbi makes hamotzi w/ a man in unison , but they do say “Ado-Shem” (Desperate for semblance of religion?) Stayed at “Rabbi”s house so was within walking distance.

Explains about not dating/etc. The seriousness of ‘dating”.

Brother begins to understand that being religious doesn’t mean boring describes her as “sassy, have spunk, (deceased bro) lucky to get her”

Goes swimming in empty public pool w/ Bro in law (who I guess is her husband so…umm does that make it ok?)

Realizes she is in love w/ him.
Goes out of the way to make charade when mother comes to visit.

Mother overbearing and rude (Susie essman!!!)

While mother staying, forced to share room for appearances, and she is uncomfortable on chair, so instead of offering to switch with her, he offes to let her sleep on the other end of a bed ‘bigger than rhode island’ (so that she wouldn’t have to be close to him). After a minute she accepts.

Mother figures it out (jerk, but smart)

Mother says “come form 2 different worlds not right for eachother, don’t hold same values, where is his love of G-d” (one of his ‘negative traits is “he jokes”) Mother is upset at her choice to stay, but still loves her and says “know that you will always have a home back in Bklyn”

Gets untznius dress for an event with her ‘husband’ (btw, I should mention his name is jake) Sees herself in mirror, decides to take off sheitel, Hair ½ way down her back. Shakes men hand, but w/ hesitation. Dances w/ Jake, but w/ hesitation.

Next scene does NOT need to be described here…use your imagination.

Now dresses “cooler” but generally tznius, now uncovers hair or only covers w/ small scarf, still Shomer Shabbos and he joins in for Shabbos. Living together fully as man and wife.

Her MIL (Jakes mother) comes to visit syas “you look difffernet, what happened to the Brooklyn you” answer ‘I am still here, just with some modifications”

Explains custom of leaving stone on headstone.

Leah admits loves jake, but cant say that she loved 1st husband. He feels he is betraying brother. He walks out, she goes home to Bklyn.

@ reform shul, Jake goes to “rabbi Gerry” for advice. He wants her help to ask bro for forgiveness.

In bklyn, Leah says she has to stop running away. Her mother agrees and says that since they love each other, they had to work it out…and they belong together. Mother says “a mother is only as happy as her saddest child” She says pretty much it is G-ds will they say together.

They talk and agree that the deceased bro brought them together. He says he wants to marry her for real (it was real before, but real I their hearts, a full commitment)

At unveiling, she wears doily, rest is stylish-tznius.

The end

greenfire

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 11:22 pm

they obviously didn't do enough research because a "frum" girl would never do yibum with a non-frum bil ... aside from many other things that weren't portrayed in a realistic manner as one who lives there would know ...

end summary mostly boring movie that is NOT worth the fight over ...

Ima2NYM_LTR

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 11:26 pm

its a movie with heart but very little brains.....no a totla waste of 2 hrs, but I wouldnt watch it again

Aribenj

Sun, Jan 25 2009, 11:31 pm

I didn't know if to laugh, cry, or roll my eyes...

But it was a cute story. And I don't think they portray frum life in a negative way. Just... maybe not the real way it is....

su7kids

Mon, Jan 26 2009, 2:16 am

I really don't like the way they always portray Orthodox to be so restricting and how much freer the woman is when she lowers her standards. I dno't believe in lowering standards.

Ima2NYM_LTR

Mon, Jan 26 2009, 6:56 am

I analyzed it all night (sorta sleepless) and I have a very good way of describing, based on a talk I went to yesterday given by Rebbetzin Rivka Slonim from SUNY Binghamton Chabad. I will be using her ideas to explain the movie

Just not right now. have to leave for work in 5 min.

Will write something at work and post it here after 4 PM Stay tuned

DefyGravity

Mon, Jan 26 2009, 9:53 am

I caught the very end. DH found it while he was flipping through channels and (surprisingly) was watching it when I came home. He was like, I wish I'd known it was on!

I hated the overall theme of the movie which was that Orthodox women are repressed by their lifestyle, and once they can break away from that they're able to be strong women and become educated, go to college, and have normal lives.

frumluv

Mon, Jan 26 2009, 9:58 am

I liked the movie, just wasn't as most have said too realistic. I was surprised to see her go from attending Orthodox shul to a Reform one.

The only time she really lowered was wearing that black dress to the cocktail party (low neckline, high slit up to thigh).

sped

Mon, Jan 26 2009, 2:56 pm

You do realize that we don't do yibum nowadays. right?

Mon, Jan 26 2009, 3:49 pm

I thought it was really good! Very sweet story, but totally unrealistic. It seemed like the moral of the story was "compromise", he started going to shul and started to learn more about Judiasm, while she became less "extreme".

Ima2NYM_LTR

Mon, Jan 26 2009, 3:53 pm

After watching “Loving Leah” and trying to figure out a way to describe the
attitude of the movie, I found the easiest way was to use the same analogy
that Rebbitzin Rivka Slonim for Binghamton used at a talk I went to
yesterday.

When the secular world looks at Jewish life, it makes no sense to them.
They are trying to read it in the only way they know how - from ‘left to
right”. If they could look from ‘right to left’ as we do, Judaism would
make perfect sense to them too.

The movie was the same way. They took facts –Yibum and Chalitzah and they
looked at it from ‘left to right’. In the minds of the writer, producer,
director, it was only natural that a) Jake would have trouble following
through b)Leah would be willing to participate in the sham marriage c) they
would eventually fall in love and d) she would come to understand and adopt
parts (but not all) of his lifestyle. In their minds, it was quite logical
that if the closest shul was reform, she would eventually find a home
there, as opposed to getting out a phone book and calling the closest
Chabad Center. It was quite logical that, once out of the “insular world
of Brooklyn” that she would find her ‘beauty’ and find her ‘place in the
world’. They were ‘honoring’ the character by ‘allowing her develop”.
Left-to-right, it all makes sense.

For us, who see the situation ‘right to left’, it makes no sense. The
Rabbis would not allow them to marry so easily, spur of the moment, she
would never move into his house without the intention of a true marriage
(with T.H.). She would not even walk into the reform shul, let alone
become comfortable there, and she would not have given up tznius dress for
love.

I kept hoping to see her influence him in his yiddishkeit…to see him become
frum. I was looking at it ‘right to left’. If you or I made the movie,
that would have been the end result.

So again, the movie was not meant as a disrespect or a slap. It was a
poorly researched piece that tried to put a new spin on Romeo and Juliet,
that’s all. Susie Essman’s comments were not the mood of the movie, and
IMHO, by casting her the producer made a horrible choice.

And the character I respected the most was Jakes non-Jewish girlfriend from
the beginning of the movie. She was in love with him, expected to get
married encouraged him to reconnect with his brother before he got ‘the
call’ understanding about the Chalitzah situation and even encouraged him
to keep in touch with Leah afterwards. She was the one, when he came back
married, refused to continue the relationship as long as he was still
married, eventually broke it off when he kept promising to separate from
Leah but never did. In the end, Jake says he never had any intention of
marrying her. Out of all the characters, she had the most integrity, and
lost the most. She was supposed to come off as a scorned lover who was
spiteful and refunds to be reasonable and continue to sleep with a ‘married
man’, but she did the right thing.

Hope this helps to clarify the movie.

NotInNJMommy

Mon, Jan 26 2009, 4:53 pm

Very nice, I2N. Much more eloquent than what I was going to write:

"THIS IS SO STUPID NO ONE DOES YIBUM IN THE WESTERN WORLD BECAUSE IT'S PROHIBITED NOW!!!!!!!!!!!"

Smile

shanie5

Mon, Jan 26 2009, 10:45 pm

When I went to curves this morning, many of the women there told me how much they enjoyed the movie.

I shuddered-even though I didnt see it.

shlomitsmum

Tue, Jan 27 2009, 5:49 pm

I programmed it but DH came in and caught me and DH said don't watch it becouse ratings are ratings and they don't deserve it...Point taken ! Wink

I went to a nice rosh chodesh party instead,and had a fun time Very Happy

I was curious still and the sumary was good , I did not miss much LOL
but talk about spreading ignorance....
Oh gosh.... my non jewish neighbour saw it too! she was like....you would have to marry a brother ...HvS I responded as a knee jerk reaction ... Rolling Eyes

and added DH has NO brothers.
She had like 20 questions, plus I got my preg belly rubbed ,(that irritates me beyond)!

And I said "thats the media version of us" I can assure you a REAL Orthodox girl would not "fake a marriage" and College is not universally shunned ..
Classic one liner new york Ortodox jews are like "more agressive Amish" shock

NativeMom

Tue, Jan 27 2009, 7:51 pm

Ima2Netanel wrote:

She's giving a talk at the JCC where I live Feb 8th and plan on going
I have it on DVR and I think I'll watch it out of curiosity.

SomebodyElse

Sun, Feb 01 2009, 6:14 pm

FWIW, I just discussed the movie with a relative of mine. (She called me, eager to ask me about it.) As background, she grew up loosely affiliated with the reform movement, and is now very against organized religion (in a "to each his own" but I can't keep quiet about how I feel about it" sort of way).

Her take on the movie was that it was a great love story which only presented Judaism in a positive light. All of her friends, both Jewish and non, were intrigued and were asking her questions about details of Jewish tradition that came out in the movie -- how to light shabbos candles, what people's "spirits" do when they die, mezuzas, etc. And she's asking me!

And her take on the movie (though I imagine not entirely accurate) was that Leah stayed true to her beliefs and remained "orthodox", just free of her overbearing mother and happier for it.

And she didn't notice anything ugly about the way the women were dressed. But she did notice that they didn't wear any makeup.

GetReal

Sun, Feb 01 2009, 6:19 pm

Quote:

“persons soul finds the one they love to say goodbye”

Is this a Jewish concept? Just curious, because I never heard of it. or is it something they made up?