Home

Carpool
1, 2  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

Report offensive ad

View latest: 24h 48h 72h


starfish2









  
Post Posted: Tue, Feb 03 2009, 4:29 pm       Post subject: Carpool
What's your rule with carpool. If you child is sick, you arrange for someone else to drive the other kids in the carpool home? What if they are sick for a week? Do you tell the carpool to figure driving out amongst themselves and you're not involved?

I'm in a carpool with another family. My child and theirs. I don't see how it's worth it if my son is sick 3 days Chas veShalom to still drive anyways or even make up the days. My son isn't getting a ride for those days so why make it up? My feeling is, I'll try to find someone else to take their son, if I can't, they have to pick him up on their own.
Back to top

cassandra









  
Post Posted: Tue, Feb 03 2009, 4:36 pm       Post subject: re: Carpool
Wrong. Your day is your day regardless of whether your child is in the car. Sometimes the other parent will be nice and offer to pick up but it isn't their responsibility. Carpools have a set schedule for a reason and people rely on those schedules, sometimes well in advance of that week. I think you're making a mistake, but if it's only one other family and they agree to this rule then go ahead.
_________________
The ability to Google does not make you learned.
Back to top

starfish2









  
Post Posted: Tue, Feb 03 2009, 5:07 pm       Post subject: re: Carpool
you're telling me that I need to drive the other child every single day of the entire week if my child is not getting a ride from them the entire week?
Back to top

3Qts









  
Post Posted: Tue, Feb 03 2009, 5:09 pm       Post subject: re: Carpool
Yes because if thier child is not feeling well you wont appreciate taking and picking up your child twice a day.
Also this is a yearly thing so one week out of a year you are maybe not getting the best deal but you have to look at the whole picture.
Back to top

cassandra









  
Post Posted: Tue, Feb 03 2009, 5:11 pm       Post subject: re: Carpool
Carpool is like a yearly contract, not one that renews every day or every week. How would you feel if they dropped you next week because they found someone with a nicer car or something? Isn't a deal a deal?
Back to top

starfish2









  
Post Posted: Tue, Feb 03 2009, 6:33 pm       Post subject: re: Carpool
I agree however concessions need to be made if you absolutely can't find anyone to pick their kid up they need to do it if you can't take your sick kid in the car.

I get the inflexibility of official carpool rules. Next year, IY"H, no carpool. It's easier for me to do it myself.
Back to top

Raisin









  
Post Posted: Tue, Feb 03 2009, 6:39 pm       Post subject: Re: re: Carpool
shaina22 wrote:
I agree however concessions need to be made if you absolutely can't find anyone to pick their kid up they need to do it if you can't take your sick kid in the car.

I get the inflexibility of official carpool rules. Next year, IY"H, no carpool. It's easier for me to do it myself.


no its not. iI don't carpool because I live so close to the school, while its no big deal for other parents to drop off my kid on the way home, it would be a 15-20 minute detour for me to take most other peoples kids home. Even thoughits only a 2 minute drive, its still 20 minutes each time. 2 times a day. 3 on one day.

if your kid is sick enough that they can't go in the car discuss it with the other parent. maybe you can offer to do more pick ups another week instead. if you mess them around maybe they will mess you around too.
Back to top

greenfire









  
Post Posted: Tue, Feb 03 2009, 7:03 pm       Post subject:
since it's only 1 other person I would imagine you can discuss it with them ... if they are entirely inflexible in general I would cancel ... what happens when their kid is sick do they want to pick up & drop off yours ...
_________________
_________________
don't wonder why people go crazy ... rather wonder why we don't
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NUTso but cute ~ things balance out Nervous
Back to top

Barbara









  
Post Posted: Tue, Feb 03 2009, 7:20 pm       Post subject:
greenfire wrote:
since it's only 1 other person I would imagine you can discuss it with them ... if they are entirely inflexible in general I would cancel ... what happens when their kid is sick do they want to pick up & drop off yours ...


Absolutely discuss it. Chances are the other person will understand OP not wanting to drag her sick kid out to do carpool.

The problem is that people often arrange their lives around the carpool schedule. Eg, Miriam's mom picks up the girls on Tuesday, Sarah's mom therefore doesn't need the car and her DH drives to work. If Miriam's out sick, Sarah's mom still has no way to pick Sarah up.
Back to top

Fox









  
Post Posted: Tue, Feb 03 2009, 7:26 pm       Post subject: re: Carpool
Ah, carpool! Each carpool has its own rhythms and rules, and one inflexible or just plain unpleasant apple can spoil the whole year!

I always think of Rabbi Shmuel Fuerst, sh"lita, dayan of Chicago, who once said that there were more people in the community "not speaking" as a result of carpooling than anything else! We can call upon ahavas Yisroel to get past hashkafic differences, etc., but a bad carpool seems beyond most people's ability to forgive!

I've been in some wonderful ones as well as some dreadful ones over the years! Good luck!
Back to top

mom23









  
Post Posted: Tue, Feb 03 2009, 7:34 pm       Post subject: re: Carpool
I was in a dreadful carpool for 2 years. It scarred me enough to do carpool on my own with 3 kids going to 3 different schools. I was out 4 to 5 times a day depending on the schedule. That lasted one year, and I was very torn about joining another carpool. I decided I had to since I was due with the next baby, and I would need to rely on someone to help me.

B"H I have been in the most wonderful carpool for the past 2 years. I do it with one other person and we are both flexible and have helped each other out in the time of need. We are committed and responsible about our schedules, but when emergencies happen we always are there for each other. We also proactively look for a way to repay any favors we were given.

My advice is to look to be in a carpool with like-minded people who hold the same way you do.
Back to top

micki









  
Post Posted: Tue, Feb 03 2009, 7:48 pm       Post subject:
if your child is sick you still need to make arrangements. either tell them- you take this week and I'll take next for you or the other family may offer to just do it, knowing htat when their kid is sick CHVS then you will do the whole time.
B"H I am in an excellent carpool where we each give the other. if someones kid is sick then I'll cover for them happpily knowing theyu will do the same for me.

the esiest is to discuss these things at the beginning of the year so when it comes up you know what to do.
I reme
_________________
girl - 12 ys. * girl - 10 ys. * boy - 9 ys. * boy - 7 ys. * girl -5 years *boy 4 ys. *baby boy - 2 ys.

when kids are spoiled they are fresh.
Back to top

MiamiMommy









  
Post Posted: Tue, Feb 03 2009, 9:22 pm       Post subject:
I have a great carpool mate- we just call each other when a kid is sick.

Even if she'd offer to do the carpool, I really wouldn't want my kids in the car with a sick one!
Back to top

starfish2









  
Post Posted: Thu, Feb 05 2009, 1:58 pm       Post subject: re: Carpool
thank you for all of these replies.

The other mother is not understanding. I'm probably sticking it out until the end of the year but if I have to drop it in the middle due to her inflexibility, I will.
Back to top

cassandra









  
Post Posted: Thu, Feb 05 2009, 2:08 pm       Post subject: re: Carpool
I don't think she's being inflexible. I think you're expecting too much. When you join a carpool you're entitled to expect that you will only drive one way or on certain days. If she wants to be nice because of extenuating circumstances and pick up for you on days when your son isn't there or whatever that's always fine, but that's a chesed on her part. I'm sure she has her reasons for not wanting to, not that she even needs them.

(Refuah Sheleima to your son, btw)
Back to top

ChavieK









  
Post Posted: Thu, Feb 05 2009, 2:33 pm       Post subject: re: Carpool
I think Cassandra is right. I might not want my child in the car with a sick child, but on the otherhanb if I am at work or an appointment, then what should I do? Did you ask around if anyone else has room for her child? If you find him another ride, then she can't complain.
Back to top

sky









  
Post Posted: Thu, Feb 05 2009, 2:36 pm       Post subject:
Can you trade with her. She drive the whole week your son is out and then you will drive the whole week the next week?
Back to top

sv9506









  
Post Posted: Thu, Feb 05 2009, 2:44 pm       Post subject: re: Carpool
The way I look at it - the other person is relying on you. Her schedule is made around the fact that she doesn't have to carpool on certain days. If you could find someone else to take her child then thats fine, otherwise talk to her and see if she could do this week and you could pick up extra days in the coming weeks to make up for it. I dont think that she is inflexible if she says that she cant do it, but I do feel that she is being inflexible if she doesnt try to work other things out with you.
Back to top

starfish2









  
Post Posted: Thu, Feb 05 2009, 7:28 pm       Post subject: re: Carpool
cassandra, my son isn't sick B"H and I found your comments somewhat rude.

That being said, we're going around in circles here.

I was saying that if I absolutely can't find someone to pick up her son (emergencies do come up) she is going to need to do it. This is what I mean about being inflexible. He's her son, she needs to pick him up if there's an emergency.
Back to top

newmom









  
Post Posted: Thu, Feb 05 2009, 9:47 pm       Post subject: re: Carpool
Sorry Shaina, you are outnumbered. Carpool has sacred rules. Your days are your days are your days, ie-your responsibility. Many people's work schedule revolves around their carpool days, so you can't be flippant about it.

You posed a question, got answers you didn't like, and now your calling Cassandra rude??!!!! Next time don't bother asking if you can't handle when people (respectfully) disagree with you.
Back to top
View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Page 1 of 2 1, 2  Next

Similar Topics Replies Last Post
No new posts Carpool help
by amother
2 Fri, Apr 29 2011, 12:18 pm View latest post
by farm
No new posts paid carpool
by sarahla
7 Thu, Sep 08 2011, 10:21 am View latest post
No new posts Carpool - was I wrong?
by rzab
78 Yesterday at 12:41 am View latest post
No new posts Booster for Carpool 8 Sat, Jan 12 2013, 10:15 pm View latest post
by JB
No new posts Help with carpool problem
by amother
6 Thu, Oct 31 2013, 4:31 pm View latest post


Jump to:  



Report offensive ad