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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
I can't eat my friend's food...
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 26 2009, 4:32 pm
Blair wrote:
What do you do when they put it in front of you and you say no thank you and they still give you the plate. That's why I move it around making it look like I am eating it. I wait for the hostess to turn around and then do it.


lol my girlies do this ... spread the food ... looks a mess ... to make believe they ate ... Wink
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 26 2009, 5:28 pm
ask them to a restaurant.
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devorahrivka




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 26 2009, 10:30 pm
I have a few ideas:

Tell her you want to take a cooking class and invite her to come with you. Then the next time your invited over you can request some food from the class. "Your's turned out so much better than mine..."

Find a few things she makes that you can stand and request them whenever you go over. "I really love that wonderful carrot dish you make, would you mind making that for me? You do it so well."

Share a few recipes with her. "I found a great recipe I think you'll love." OR better yet, if you do some searching you can find menus for almost any event. You could pick a few and say something like "I found this great menu and thought it would be fun if I make part and you make part."

I agree with the person that said not to ask what you can bring, just bring. "I've been feeling guilty because you do so much, I hope you don't mind."
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DefyGravity




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2009, 10:30 am
I think it's extremely rude to bring food without asking. I hate it when I put time and effort into making dessert, and a guest brings an additional dessert. Then I have stuff left over, and I'd rather not be left with extra junk food.

It's definitely bad etiquette to bring food without asking your host.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2009, 10:36 am
DefyGravity wrote:
I think it's extremely rude to bring food without asking. I hate it when I put time and effort into making dessert, and a guest brings an additional dessert. Then I have stuff left over, and I'd rather not be left with extra junk food.

It's definitely bad etiquette to bring food without asking your host.


interestingly I don't like when people bring me stuff either ... but I always thought I was just too picky ... also I do bring but because most people I know like it that you brought something extra ...
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cookielady




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2009, 10:45 am
DefyGravity wrote:
I think it's extremely rude to bring food without asking. I hate it when I put time and effort into making dessert, and a guest brings an additional dessert. Then I have stuff left over, and I'd rather not be left with extra junk food.

It's definitely bad etiquette to bring food without asking your host.

I agree! I do not appreciate, after planning a menu, cooking etc for someone to show up with a bakery cake and expect it to be served.
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devorahrivka




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2009, 11:29 am
On the topic of bringing something without asking...I'm torn...I understand why you think its rude, but in this case I think, if done with tact, she can get away with it. If this is a good friend then she should know how the friend would handle it.

If someone brings food to my house I don't get upset. If it seems to go with the meal, I serve it. If not, I keep it in the kitchen. Someone once brought a cake to my cocktail party, that seemed odd. Confused Even Emily Post will tell you its ok not to serve it with the meal if someone brings. I've even frozen some items that people brought and was happy I did. Most baked goods freeze well and are a good treat for those moments when you just NEEEEED something sweet but forgot to get something at the store. Wink That cocktail party cake did not go to waste Smile

People don't like showing up empty handed and for some people baking/cooking is just what they do. Others can't bake and can't think of anything else to do so they pick up their favorite cake thinking you'll love it too...I think its a nice jesture, better than flowers that just die a few days later. Thats why I usually bring a small green plant Smile
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louche




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2009, 11:38 am
DefyGravity wrote:
I don't understand people that plate food for their guests. . . then there's going to be so much food wasted. It's so dumb.


agreed about the wastage. two reasons why it's done:
1. It's more "elegant"
2. The host gets to control the portions. There was a thread here about a gluttonous guest who would eat enough for several people and then the others didn't get. By serving restaurant-style you can ensure that everyone gets.
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DefyGravity




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2009, 11:47 am
From my experience, overall, there ends up being more waste with plating people's food for them. Also I'm the type of person that ALWAYS feels the need to clean my plate, so then I end up overeating if they put a lot of stuff on my plate OR end up hungry if they serve extremely small portions.
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shnitzel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 27 2009, 3:59 pm
I don't have a problem with people bringing us stuff but DH is severely allergic to nuts so most of the food people bring us he can't eat so it is always worth it to ask first before bringing. We have enough people hanging out at our house to eat the stuff that he can't but I don't know what I would do if someone brought something that actually had nuts in it. He doesn't feel comfortable eating most baked goods unless he knows the person well enough to be totally sure it is nut free.
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Blair




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 31 2009, 2:25 am
In most Chassidus homes they serve the food plated not in my home since I hate it that way. I feel people should be able to make there own choices.
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