Pregnancy ettiquette

mommalah

Sun, Mar 22 2009, 5:25 pm

anonymom wrote:

I was in my eighth or ninth month and the very frum principal of my sons' school offered to unlock the elevator for me when he saw me starting to go up the steps. In a way it was nice, but in a way I thought, why is he noticing, and if he is noticing, why is he admiting it? But it was kind of obvious, so if he ignored it, it would also not be nice. You just can't win!

How could someone not notice a woman in her eighth or 9th month of pregnancy? Rolling Eyes

mommalah

Sun, Mar 22 2009, 5:33 pm

mominisrael2 wrote:

DH got asked when I was due (when I wasn't pregnant)...by our RABBI!! embarrassed

I took that as a sign to get over to the gym pronto...

The one week I go to shul with DH and the kids, DH's friend asked him if I was pregnant. DH said "No, she's still working off the baby fat". I too realized then, that it was time to start exercising! I was also quite ticked off...

shayna82

Sun, Mar 22 2009, 5:52 pm

today, some crazy check out women in her fiftys asked me when im due, so I said June, so shes like, o I would have said next month!!! Im not THAT big!!

amother

Sun, Mar 22 2009, 8:01 pm

"Assuming" that someone is in their 9th or due any day is one thing but to talk to them as if htey are and say comments without having a shadow of a doubt where there are up to is considered sheer stupidity! I keep on getting the most insensitive comments and ppl have no problem saying it LOUD in the presence of others.

Here are some REAL examples:
* mid 8th months-"Arent you afraid that your water will break any second" not if im in a low risk pregnancy & 6 weeks away from my DD Rolling Eyes

* At a simcha all load & bubbly-"oh I thought you were gonna surprise us this week with a simcha too!" poor me was all purple since I was just starting my eighth month Banging head

*"I'm so happy for you that you made it through Purim" I'm not due till after Pesach! Shooting Arrow

So if anyone of you out here recognize any of these comments as your own kindly change your way of thinking. Just because a woman looks big doesnt mean shes due any day and just because a woman just put on maternity doesnt mean shes in her 5th month!

mominisrael2

Mon, Mar 23 2009, 3:39 am

octopus wrote:

well, here is some more pregnancy ettiquette: guessing when a gal is due. Ppl always assume that when they see me, I'm in my 8th or 9th month. Nope, I'm not. I start looking that way in my sixth. (I carry pretty big, not so big myself, and have large babies). When I'm in my eight month ppl start saying "what! it looks like you are due yesterday!" It always makes me feel really bad.

Happens to me too...I started maternity leave early with DD1 because I didn't feel like shlepping on the New York subway when I was gargantuan and nobody was ever nice enough to give me a seat, and my boss called a while later to ask me when I was coming back to work...before I was even due!!

mominisrael2

Mon, Mar 23 2009, 3:41 am

mommalah wrote:

I'm still telling people I'm trying to get the baby fat off too, but frequently neglect to tell people that my baby is almost 5!! Smile

amother

Mon, Mar 23 2009, 3:45 am

on the topic of insensitive comments, I am ready to wring my mother-in-law's neck after finally getting pregnant after trying for 3 years and upon hearing the news, her asking me if it was an ACCIDENT!!

louche

Mon, Mar 23 2009, 8:25 am

challi wrote:

I took one of my kids to get an x-ray recently. The technician turned to me and asked if there is any possibility or slight chance I am pregnant. I was wearing maternity and am quite large right now and almost in my 9th month. I though no one could miss the fact that I am most deffinitely pregnant. I told her there's more than a "slight chance" that I "may" be pregnant, considering I'm 34 weeks along. She was very appologetic an said she didn't realize.

I'm still trying to figure out how she didn't realize, I skinny everywhere besides for gigantic stomach????

1. That's their standard question that they have to ask all patients even if the answer appears to be obvious
2. You could have an abdominal tumor. In Guinness World records there are entries for women who have had abdominal masses almost as large as they were.
3. You could just be fat! Some people do in fact put on all their weight in the middle and have skinny arms and legs.

greenfire

Mon, Mar 23 2009, 8:34 am

amother wrote:

maybe she meant how did ya do it ... natural ... or with help ... sometimes people can't articulate what they mean to say ...

chaylizi

Mon, Mar 23 2009, 8:38 am

amother wrote:

um that's pretty rude (and mean)

Fabulous

Mon, Mar 23 2009, 8:42 am

amother wrote:

Is she frum? Because if not then three years is not so long for secular couples to wait before having children and she could really think it was an accident.

Even if not, bishaa tova!! And don't let this ruin your beautiful simcha.

SomebodyElse

Mon, Mar 23 2009, 9:07 am

I think I've only been asked once if I was pregnant (other than by the dentist and so on.) My period had been a few days late, I had a positive home preg. test, and like the next day, a woman I barely knew out of the blue asked me if I was expecting! I am thin! I was barely in my first month and I don't tell till the fifth!! I have no idea what I said.

Everybody else has been kind enough to ask "how are you feeling, " or, when it was obvious, "is there anything you'd like to tell us"?