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Calling by first names



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Seraph




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 09 2009, 11:58 pm
My little 1.5 year old is busy walking around the house calling my husband and myself by his version of our first names. Yes, also abba and babba, but the other half of the time by something VERY close to what I call my husband. And I'm mommy about half the time, but the other half he calls me something very similar to what some of the gan kids call me.
How do I respond to this? Do I ignore him when he calls us by the wrong name? Pretend he said mommy/abba and not our name? Say something to him (which he isnt really old enough to chap) that we call mommy mommy and abba abba, but not [name] or [name]?

If the kid were 3, I'd have a better idea how to respond. But a 1.5 year old calling us by our names? I am not prepared for that.
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cubbie




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 10 2009, 12:15 am
dh & I try very hard to only call each other imma and abba in the presence of our children. They know our names and I don't think it's the issue of knowing the names, but wanting to be like us and doing things the way we do them. It gets funny when we're in the supermarket and I am calling dh abba, but I know that if I called him by his name they probably would too.
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Stepmum




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 10 2009, 12:17 am
Apparently this is very common with oldest children. I don't have that problem yet, but here's my two cents. When he does this, you can point to yourself and say 'Mummy' (or Ima), then ask him, 'who am I?' (If he's old enough to understand), or just repeat your name.

When asking him/telling him something that pertains to you, call yourself 'Mummy' instead of 'I', or 'me', e.g. 'Can you show Mummy your toes', or 'Mummy's going to get something to drink', etc.

You may want to call your husband Abba for the time being, when he's around, and have him call you 'Mummy'.

Good luck!
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Seraph




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 10 2009, 12:21 am
Stepmum wrote:


When asking him/telling him something that pertains to you, call yourself 'Mummy' instead of 'I', or 'me', e.g. 'Can you show Mummy your toes', or 'Mummy's going to get something to drink', etc.
I do do that.

Quote:
You may want to call your husband Abba for the time being, when he's around, and have him call you 'Mummy'.

Good luck!
That is a suggestion, which I may try. I'm not sure it'll work so well because he is with 10 kids all day who call me by my first name, so why should HE call me something different?
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Stepmum




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 10 2009, 12:32 am
The playgroup does kinda put a spanner in the works... Not sure how to combat that.

Which makes me think I might have an issue too - my stepchildren don't call me Mummy, and how can you explain to a 1/2/3 year old that her siblings have a different name for her mother to the one she uses? Oh well, we'll cross that hurdle when we get there. At two months old she's blissfully unaware of the concept of divorce.
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smiley:)




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 10 2009, 12:39 am
I'd think at your son's age you cant expect him not to call you what the playgroup kids call you.
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Seraph




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 10 2009, 1:07 am
Right... but then at what point do I have him stop calling me by my first name and start calling me mommy? Calling me and my husband by our first names has been a very new thing (past week or two) and I'd rather stop it now than wait for him to have that habit ingrained in him and him to have to call me a different name. Btw, some kids in playgroup call me mommy- and the other half call me by my first name.
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ora_43




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 10 2009, 1:48 am
My oldest does that too. I think the best response is to explain (they will understand, if not right away then soon enough) that to them, ima and abba are ima and abba. Then whenever they use your first name, don't respond until they switch to ima or abba, or say calmly something along the lines of, "sweetie, you know you don't say Moishie. What do you say?" then they get it and say, "abba" and try again. And always stay calm about it, because at this age they'll do all sorts of things to get a reaction.

My dd still sometimes uses our first names, but she's switched back to ima and abba almost exclusively. As others have said the playgroup might complicate things, but IMO your son should still be able to understand that each kid calls their own mother ima or mommy.
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amother


 

Post Sat, Apr 11 2009, 11:23 am
seriously, how many 7 yr olds have u seen/heard calling their parents by their first name?when they get older they all know ur names but dont refer to u as that..why? hello hes just a baby. if hes 7, get him help. now? ignore it. its such a stupidity they have no regard for respect or understanding its not even an issue. there's a reason hes not sitting in 1st grade at 2.
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natmichal




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Apr 11 2009, 12:12 pm
Your son is not too young to be told that he's meant to call you Imma only. I have always been told (and have seen) that any kid over one year old understand MUCH more than you'd expect.
As for him being with other kids calling you by your name, just explain that you're his mummy only - and not the other kid's mummy (a fact which I'm sure he knows very well....) and therfore he calls you your "special name" - Imma only - unlike the other kids. If you're firm enough he'll get it fast . I never took care of other kids beside mines, but that's what my friend did and it worked (her son was the same age as yours)
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Seraph




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Apr 11 2009, 12:20 pm
amother wrote:
seriously, how many 7 yr olds have u seen/heard calling their parents by their first name?when they get older they all know ur names but dont refer to u as that..why? hello hes just a baby. if hes 7, get him help. now? ignore it. its such a stupidity they have no regard for respect or understanding its not even an issue. there's a reason hes not sitting in 1st grade at 2.
The reason why 7 year olds dont call their parents by their first name is because their parents nipped it in the bud right away and didnt wait for it to go away on its own. And yes, I have seen families where older kids called parents by their names because the parents never stopped them.
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mamacita




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 12 2009, 12:21 am
I used to call my dad honey, hehe. When my dd went through this phase we tried not to laugh and gently corrected her. We also started to only refer to each other as ima and aba and it's gotten to the point that I do it when the dc arent' even around! hehe. I also had to stop calling my mom mom and started calling her bubbie after ds kept calling her "ma" (he calls me mama, no idea where he got that). Basically you can only go by aliases from now on Wink
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chaylizi




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 12 2009, 7:06 am
all of my kids call my father zeidy-abba. so basically I just call my parents bobby & zeidy now. and my siblings have started (jokingly) calling me 'mommy'
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louche




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 12 2009, 7:26 pm
Tempest in a teapot. The kid will eventually graduate from playgroup and revert to calling his mother Mummy or Mama or Hey You or whatever he called her before. My nephew went through a stage at about age 2 in which he called his father "Paul" b/c that's what my sister called him. She used to laugh and laugh. By the time the kid was 3 and in preschool he was back to "Daddy". No lecturing, no preaching, no nipping in buds. Just nature taking its natural course. Not everything has to be made into a federal case.
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