 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Children's Health
anonymom
|
 Fri, Apr 24 2009, 5:56 pm
| SomebodyElse wrote: | | Another idea would be to say you can't go along with this diet without a doctor's note. On the chance that they're just misguided, hopefully they would then talk to a pediatrician and realize how wrong they are about the fat thing. |
Excellent idea.
| |
|
| Back to top |
 0
 0
|
Inspired
|
Sat, Apr 25 2009, 4:19 pm
| SomebodyElse wrote: | | Another idea would be to say you can't go along with this diet without a doctor's note. On the chance that they're just misguided, hopefully they would then talk to a pediatrician and realize how wrong they are about the fat thing. |
That is a good idea.
That poor kid. 
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Akeres Habayis
|
Sun, Apr 26 2009, 7:41 am
I would call the mother and find out exactly what is going on(dont continue discussing it here,until u speak to her).if she says the daughter needs to be on a diet,tell her that in the gan she MUST have a lunch of more than an apple.u dont want to take responsibility on your "shift"that a child hasn't had enough to eat,unless she can provide a doctor's note stating the toddler has a weight problem  .
u can make suggestions of what to send w/the toddler,based on a food group chart
if she continue to say that she doesn't want her toddler to eat,then I would repeat u dont feel comfortable w/a toddler not eating a lunch.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Seraph
|
Sun, Apr 26 2009, 7:51 am
Ok, so update on the situation.
Friday, the girl came with 2 rice cakes, and 2 dried apricots.
I didnt say anything because I wanted to see how it would pan out.
Today, her mother sent her with a cucumber and some walnuts.
I was going to say something to the mother, but she beat me to it. (Sister DID get the message correct.) Mom: "I purposely didnt send her with a sandwich."
"Why not?" I asked.
She says "Because she's fat."
Me: "No she isnt. Look around at the other kids here. ___ and ___ are fat- she is no where near that, she is absolutely normal for her age."
Mother gives me this look.
Me: "Did you take her to a doctor? Did he say she weighs too much? Is that why you want to put her on a diet?"
Mom: "Its not the weight, she just is much fatter than my other kids were at this age."
Me: "All kids grow at their own pace. Just because your other kids were very skinny at this age doesnt mean she is unhealthy that she isnt as skinny. Listen, I run a program and I cant have a kid crying because she doesnt have a sandwich to eat when all the other kids do."
Mom: "Then give her the cucumber/apple when the other kids eat sandwiches."
Me: "The kids eat fruit at noon. Its at 10 that she needs something."
Mom: "Why does she need to eat so early? She eats a big bowl of oatmeal/porridge before she comes in the morning." (So apparently some of the responders were correct about that.)
Me: "The fact isnt how much she should eat. If she is hungry and asks to eat, even if she ate not that long ago, its not right to not give her food."
Mom: "She's only asking for food because she sees the other kids eating."
Me: "Actually, I generally decide to feed the kids specifically because your daughter is saying she is hungry. (My times are a little flexible. They eat anywhere between 9 and 10:30, depending on if a lot of kids are saying they are hungry.) She isnt saying she is hungry because the other kids are- she asks for food before anyone else does."
Mom: "Ok, then I'll send her a sandwich."
Mom comes an hour later with 2 sandwiches. Daughter eats them both, her cucumber, her walnuts, plus other fruit I provided for her. She was MUCH happier. MUCH MUCH!!! I am convinced she was a nudnik because she was hungry.
My question is:
What now?
Keep an eye that the mom is feeding her enough still?
Give the mom an article about proper nutrition for toddlers/healthy weights, etc?
Speak to a rav to get permission to contact a social worker, because the mother is still convinced that her daughter is fat? I'm not convinced that this problem doesnt stem from an eating disorder mom may have.
Leave well enough alone?
Last edited by Seraph on Sun, Apr 26 2009, 8:19 am; edited 1 time in total
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Marion
|
Sun, Apr 26 2009, 8:02 am
|
If Mom has an eating disorder there's nothing you can do about it. Based on the fact that she did bring sandwiches (2, not 1!) I beg you NOT to contact social services. It's so hard to get off their radar once you're on it, and it really doesn't sound like there's something wrong. It sounds like Mom was worried because in her experience with her other kids this child is not "normal". So she made a mistake. It sounds like you handled it well, and she seems to have been receptive. The only thing you can do is make sure that food keeps coming with this little girl.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Akeres Habayis
|
Sun, Apr 26 2009, 8:06 am
Give the mom an article about proper nutrition for toddlers/healthy weights, etc?
this sounds like a sound idea.maybe also contact the tipat chalav to see what they have about toddlers weight and growth.this might have more "weight" w/her than anything else.
hopefully she will continue to send her child w/a lunch.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
catonmylap
|
Sun, Apr 26 2009, 8:11 am
I would let it go for now. I don't think it's wise to bring in social services.
Is there a possibility of talking to her dh (if the mom really has an issue) or talking to her mother or sister?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Tova
|
Sun, Apr 26 2009, 8:16 am
Maybe I'm nuts, and maybe there's a reason I am not in the daycare/ chinuch profession, but my heart breaks for this little baby (I think 2 year olds are still babies) at the thought of her going hungry that if I were you, Seraph, I would tell the mother "If you don't send her 2 sandwiches + snack/fruit every day and don't allow me to feed her either, I will not be able to let your daughter continue here."
Yes, I know it doesn't solve the problem of what this child is eating at home, but I just have zero tolerance for parents not providing for children (meaning, if it were a money issue to let YOU feed her). Again, I know my advice is not mainstream.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
greentiger
|
Sun, Apr 26 2009, 8:18 am
|
Make sure to report back to the mother how much happier and well behaved her daughter was once she ate. It may be hard for her to asses if she is not there, and if she is getting enough feedback from you that her daughter shows signs of needing the food and functioning better with it, she won't resist.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Blair
|
Sun, Apr 26 2009, 8:47 am
|
Not to be a worry wort but why is she sending walnuts at that age. Nuts are hard to chew and children have been known to choke on them. Please be careful.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Seraph
|
Sun, Apr 26 2009, 8:56 am
|
I dunno. This kid is 2.5. She eats well. Peanuts I heard are more of a problem than walnuts.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
ss321
|
Sun, Apr 26 2009, 6:57 pm
wow seraph! sounds like you handled it beautifully! good for you for standing your ground and being so assertive while staying nice, so that she actually listened!!
I would hold off w/ social services,seems like she is just terribly misinformed/ignorant, not trying to be a cruel/bad parent. but maybe go online, and search for some healthy food information for her (like from www.myfoodpyramid.gov?), something really really simple, dumbed down, and just say something like, I was doing some reading online,a nd came across this, thought you might find it interesting? but if everything seems to be going ok (ie she sends her sandwiches), I would say just go w/ the flow for now. Good job saving that little girl!!!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
chaylizi
|
Sun, Apr 26 2009, 7:06 pm
| Marion wrote: | | If Mom has an eating disorder there's nothing you can do about it. Based on the fact that she did bring sandwiches (2, not 1!) I beg you NOT to contact social services. It's so hard to get off their radar once you're on it, and it really doesn't sound like there's something wrong. It sounds like Mom was worried because in her experience with her other kids this child is not "normal". So she made a mistake. It sounds like you handled it well, and she seems to have been receptive. The only thing you can do is make sure that food keeps coming with this little girl. |
I totally agree.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Health is a Virture
|
Mon, Apr 27 2009, 4:19 am
|
u know sometimes kids ask to eat not when they are hungry, but because they are bored and/or the food itself is nurturing to them. I highly doubt this kid is starving, but I do think that you handled things well.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Seraph
|
Mon, Apr 27 2009, 6:46 am
Ok, more update.
Today mom sent 1 sandwich, and thats it. (When I said two sandwhiches the other day, I meant two sandwiches made out of really TINY peices of bread, so it was a misnomer to call it 2 sandwiches.)
In addition to the sandwich from home, the girl ate 2 peices of bread, some cucumber, some apples, a serving of rice...
This was after she was scouring the floor for crumbs, picking up individual grains of rice and individual lost pieces of cereal and dried beans. She mamash was eating crumbs (less than the size of peppercorns) off the floor, not to mention CRYING for food the WHOLE day. Does that seem to you like the behavior of someone who isn't starving?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
anonymom
|
Mon, Apr 27 2009, 6:50 am
| Blair wrote: | | Not to be a worry wort but why is she sending walnuts at that age. Nuts are hard to chew and children have been known to choke on them. Please be careful. |
Nuts are supposed to be very healthy. I have been giving them to my kids since age 1. I do watch them closely and don't let them run around with them.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
ora_43
|
Mon, Apr 27 2009, 7:08 am
Can you contact her pediatrician? Maybe s/he could bring up proper nutrition with the mother, including the risks of "dieting" at such a young age.
Or if not, maybe you could speak to a pediatrician, who could tell you warning signs to look out for, to make sure she is being fed (can you weigh her sometimes?). I'm not sure eating off the floor/acting constantly hungry is always a sign, although it's certainly not reassuring (did she ever do that in the past? or is this a new thing, since the diet began?).
I wouldn't call social services right away, as mom at least appears to be cooperating -- but if the girl stops gaining weight completely, or starts acting unusually (tired all the time, etc), then it's probably a good idea.
Calling social services does not mean having the child taken from the home. It takes a senior social worker to do that, and even then only with agreement from others that it's necessary, etc. It's really not what's done every single time there's a complaint. OTOH, as Marion said, once a family has been reported then they'll always be labeled as having been reported in the past, so it's not something to do lightly.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
amother
|
Mon, Apr 27 2009, 7:09 am
I wouldn't be surprised if since you insisted (rightfully so!) that the mother send in a sandwich, she has cut down on the little bit of food she used to give her at home.
Something needs to be done. Eating disorder or not, this is abuse. Like others have mentioned, I would speak to a Rav and find out what to do. Don't wait any longer. It's not fair to this poor child.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Seraph
|
Mon, Apr 27 2009, 7:33 am
| ora_43 wrote: | Can you contact her pediatrician? Maybe s/he could bring up proper nutrition with the mother, including the risks of "dieting" at such a young age.
Or if not, maybe you could speak to a pediatrician, who could tell you warning signs to look out for, to make sure she is being fed (can you weigh her sometimes?). I'm not sure eating off the floor/acting constantly hungry is always a sign, although it's certainly not reassuring (did she ever do that in the past? or is this a new thing, since the diet began?).
I wouldn't call social services right away, as mom at least appears to be cooperating -- but if the girl stops gaining weight completely, or starts acting unusually (tired all the time, etc), then it's probably a good idea.
Calling social services does not mean having the child taken from the home. It takes a senior social worker to do that, and even then only with agreement from others that it's necessary, etc. It's really not what's done every single time there's a complaint. OTOH, as Marion said, once a family has been reported then they'll always be labeled as having been reported in the past, so it's not something to do lightly. | AFAIK she doesnt have a pediatrician. Mom is very into natural, I'm not sure she takes her to a doc when she is sick, probably just nurses her back to health with naturopathic methods.
The pediatricians here... none of them are really the type I'd go to to give me warning signs.
Her eating crumbs and grains of rice off the floor is a new thing; her being hungry a lot isn't, but its gotten worse.
My scale isnt accurate enough to weigh someone that small.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Inspired
|
Mon, Apr 27 2009, 7:49 am
| Seraph wrote: |
My scale isnt accurate enough to weigh someone that small. |
You can go on the scale without her and then go on holding her.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
