NEED GIFT IDEA - sil gave birth to baby with medical problm

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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

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amother

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 12:25 am

My sister in law just gave birth to a baby that has serious health issues. My mother in law is flying to be with babies mother and I'd like to send a gift along for my sister in law. Purpose of gift is to show sister in law that I care, and am thinking of her... but I'm having a hard time coming up with ideas of what to send. (This mother has other kids at home, this baby is not her first)

All I can think of is a book (not sure what she is into reading!) and my mind is drawing a blank for any other ideas.

PLEASE HELP ME COME UP WITH IDEAS of what I can quickly (easily) purchase to send with mother in law on the plane. (My mother in law lives near me, so getting the present to her is not a big deal). We are not a 'mushy' family, so teddy bears wouldn't do it.

Thank you in advance for your help.

Please keep baby in your tefillos, as he will need surgery within the next couple days. Thank you for understanding why I can't put the babies tehillim name up here.

Maya

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 12:31 am

If she likes perfume or body lotions, that may be a good idea. I've been buying them for a few new mothers recently.

chavamom

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 12:32 am

Why not a baby outfit or blanket like you'd get for any other baby? When someone has a baby with problems, they often want to feel a degree of "normal mom with a new baby".

hila

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 12:34 am

How about something for the sil herself and not the baby ? A cute shirt (it is hot in the icu) , a thin robe ? Or a nice sefer tehillim witha message from you saying you are davening for her and teh baby ?

I dont know her so this may be way off.

BTW some good nosh is always welcome

sister

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 1:03 am

lotion perfume candles massage oil

ganizzy

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 1:18 am

a good game for the older kids so theyll be occupied and be happy with the fact that someones thinking about them. my kids were so happy to get presents when we had a new baby and that was with me being home

downsyndrome

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 10:39 am

If the baby's health issues are not being kept under wraps and it's assumed that you know about them, I'd get one of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books which addresses children born with special/medical issues. In addition to that, I'd send a gift for the baby, I.e. a new stretchie, blanket, etc. Just be aware that if you buy an article of clothing for the baby, get a large'ish size cuz if the baby needs to stay in the hospital for an extended period of time, then newborn clothing will be outgrown by the time he comes home.

Mama Bear

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 10:58 am

I would send a nice chocolate arrangement that wont get squished in transit.

maidale

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 11:05 am

If it's not her first baby, I'm sure she's pretty much got everything by now. I'd send a good game for the older kids, they'll be having a hard time too now. Or a nice lotion/soap arrangement for your sil.

downsyndrome

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 11:08 am

No offense, really, but to all those suggesting a game for the other kids, don't you think that a woman who just gave birth to a sick child should get something for HERSELF? Shouldn't she be made to feel that SHE, and she exclusively, is being thought about at this most challenging time in life? Perhaps IN ADDITION to something for her, it's nice to send gifts to the others, but I think we're missing the point by focusing on the other kids...

DefyGravity

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 11:14 am

I'd send her a bunch of nice comfort foods and a gift for the baby.

maidale

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 11:16 am

downsyndrome wrote:

You're probably right DS. B"H I have never gone through that terrible experience, so my suggestion was only that - a suggestion. I'm sure that as someone who's been through a similar challenge before, you'd be way more knowledgeble than us.

May we share besuros tovos only!

SMG

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 11:17 am

How about some money or gift certificates for babysitting/dinner out/grocery store. Anything she doesn't have to worry about now will probably be welcome. She can choose an indulgence for herself or to make things easier with the rest of the family. It empowers her to to what she needs with it, and you can include a nice card expressing your support and sentiment regarding wanting to help her and make this time any bit easier.

Barbara

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 11:18 am

downsyndrome wrote:

I would also think that something -- anything -- for the baby would be a good idea as well. Giving something *only*for mom, or the other kids, seems, well, pessimisitc. Sending a small gift for this baby alone seems to be a way of saying that you're davening and oh-so-hopeful that baby will be home soon.

Also, someone who has been through this before would know better, but I wonder if lotion, perfumed things are a good idea around a newborn in the ICU. What about a picture frame?

Barbara

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 11:19 am

Almost forgot ... refuah shleima. May the baby be well and soon come home where he or she belongs.

Hashem_Yaazor

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 12:05 pm

SMG wrote:

How about some money or gift certificates for babysitting/dinner out/grocery store.

My thoughts exactly.
See if you can find someone in her city you can ask for info on how to order in some food, hire a cleaning lady, whatever.

amother

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 12:13 pm

SMG I so totally agree. You don't know what she will appreciate. I know I suffer from an eating disorder. After my child's birth I did not appreciate any junk that ppl send me. It did not help especially because I needed to be eating healthy.
You don't know what will help so money, gift certificate, help that can be what she wants is especially nice.

bubby

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 12:18 pm

She'll appreciate anything that makes her feel good, like lotions, a pretty robe, etc. But I think it's important to remember this is her baby and he should receive a nice gift despite the difficult circumstances.

ChavieK

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 12:39 pm

When my son was in NICU someone gave me the Amen book. I found it easy to read & comforting. Maybe try a book store & see what is out now that is light easy & somewhat inspirational. Crocs or some other "cute" comfortable slippers/shoes. A travel or neck pillow could be helpful if she is spending lots of time there. Refuah shlaima

Seraph

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 12:57 pm

Barbara wrote:

downsyndrome wrote:

I say its probably all subjective.
A sem teacher of mine said that when she her friend had a baby who was born sick, no one gave her any baby specific gifts and that was very painful, especially when the baby was nifter, that she had no gifts that were given, nothing to "remember the baby by". And this same teacher said that when she had a baby who was nifter, all the gifts she was given for the baby, like stretchies, made her even more depressed and that it hurt her so much that she wished people didnt give baby specific things.
So you can never know- what will hurt someone more or less.

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