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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Ima, dont daven!



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yedidya's mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 23 2009, 11:17 pm
I have 3 little ones (4, almost 3 and 5 months) but I still like to daven for 5 minutes in the morning. it makes me feel better even though its usually rushed w. a child tugging at me.
recently my 3 yr old daughter has started saying "ima dont daven" and gets upset when I do it. she used to pretend daven w. a siddur while I was davening and liked that.
I dont know if I should try and explain things to her or stop davening so that she doesnt have a negative association w. tfillah. is she old enough to understand any explanation?
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 23 2009, 11:25 pm
If it's five minutes then she can survive it. Later on when she understand explain that you daven to hashem so he should keep you healthy and safe. It's good for a child to see the mom daven a little bit. For these minutes she can be occupied. Dd usually eats breakfast when I daven.
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SingALong




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 23 2009, 11:42 pm
my 2 year old grabs the siddur out of my hands and throws it on the floor.
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Love My Babes




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 23 2009, 11:43 pm
its sort of the same when I explain to my daughter that we need to make a bracha to say thank you to Hashem. shes only 2 and half and im sure she doesnt understand what that means, but starting to explain young may be good.

I do hear what you are saying about her not associating it badly. maybe you should ask about it, cuz u dont want her to resent tefilla before she even knows what it means
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Hashem_Yaazor




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 24 2009, 10:11 am
Can you sit her down with breakfast for those 5 minutes? Keeping them busy with something else is usually my lifesaver Smile
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 24 2009, 10:33 am
yedidya's mom wrote:
it makes me feel better


Are you doing this for yourself? Get up earlier.
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pacifier




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 24 2009, 11:39 am
chocolate moose wrote:
yedidya's mom wrote:
it makes me feel better


Are you doing this for yourself? Get up earlier.


get up earlier???? easy to say, but she has a 5 months old baby, she probably doesn't sleep enough already!! op, I understand you, I've tried to pray a few times, kids don't like that (3 1/2, 2 and 8 months), if they don't grab me, push me, ... they'll fight with each other....
You can still pray the Birkot hashachar, aloud, it's easy to stop after a bracha to talk to them....
You can also say Shema with them, select a few paragraphs of tephila and sing them.
Now if you really want to pray a shemoney esrei, try to do mincha, get in your room and close the door, it's only for a few minutes.
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Marion




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 24 2009, 11:45 am
My "davning" consists of Modeh Ani, something singable from the brachot after barchu (during the week it's Kel Baruch Gedol De'ah...), Shema & Baruch Shem Kevod...all said with my 3 y.o. & 20 month old, on the way to daycare in the morning! (Hey, it's only a 3 minute walk, their speed.)
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 24 2009, 11:58 am
It's called priorities. How does she bentch, then ?
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yedidya's mom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 24 2009, 11:22 pm
actually, you dont want to know how I bentch...it defnitely needs improvement.
getting up earlier is not an option. its funny cause she will actually give me the 5 minutes to sit down and eat breakfast but she doesnt like it when I daven.
I will try to talk to her abt it because she does understand a lot. its only 5 minutes and she can definitely survive it, its not like she is an infant screaming, but like I said I dont want her having bad associations with tefillah. also, not like I have the greatest kavannah anyway (say brachos, shma, smone esreh) but its hard to daven w. a 3 yr screaming in your ear and holding on to your leg.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2009, 9:58 am
When I had a growing family, I photocopied the brochos pages from the siddur and put them on the kitchen cabinets. I said that and that was all. Besides shema at night, of course.

But as they grew, I found that I needed to get up early for exercising and other things. I guess you have to see for yourself.
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Besiyata Dishmaya




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2009, 10:12 am
How about making it fun? Make it a joint thing. Tell her that you need to speak to Hashem and thank him for ... and ask him for continued siyata Dishmaya and want to do it together with her for a few minutes. Sit her down next to you with a siddur (even though she doesn't know how to daven) and tell her to daven to Hashem and thank him for ... and ask Him whatever she wants. If she knows how to 'say' (not 'read') the aleph-beis, she should say it while you'll say your kind of tefillah. If she's old enough to tell you "Ima, don't daven", she's old enough to "keep you company for your 5 minutes of davening".
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yOungM0mmy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2009, 12:14 pm
I also "daven" while giving my kids breakfast. I say modeh ani through brochos, skip the two longer paragraphs and do the brocho al divrei torah, then hareini to adon olam. That's it, and I do it by heart while giving my kids breakfast (they are 3, 19 months, and the 3 month old doesn't need to eat then).
I say it out loud, and my kids are used to it. They do ask me questions, and I try to wait till the end of the bracha before answering, but sometimes answer them automatically, even if I'm in middle, or find myself having skipped a few brochos.
Occasionally I feel guilty, but then I figure that at least I'm saying something, my kids learn that the morning routine includes brochos, and for now Hashem will accept my brochos with some breakfast talk thrown in between...
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