Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Interesting Discussions
Abusive husbands and abused wives
Previous  1  2  3



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 16 2007, 6:45 am
Quote:
yes, but are these people truly French? Or middle eastern immigrants


shock That's very racist and ignorant, especially coming from someone who is most probably descended from eastern-european immigrants to America.

And we all know that french men make the best husbands, don't we? Confused They never cheat or lose their temper - just totally perfect gentlemen.
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 16 2007, 7:55 am
Piper wrote:
Ruchel wrote:
Reviving this important topic after reading the last stats from my country.

10% of the husbands hit their wife regularly
50% of the couples include someone who has hit his/her spouse at least once
1 woman dies because of marital abuse every other day


Crying Crying Crying


yes, but are these people truly French? Or middle eastern immigrants?


They are a mix, everyone together. That's what my dad said, "the Arabs make the stats go up". But let's face it, French people from the South are often "hot tempered" while those from the North, when poor, drink. Sad
I would also say that I have heard of abuse in North African Jewish communities.
My neighbour used to beat his wife, until she left.Now he is remarried and we never hear them argue b'h but she is very submitted. Sad
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 16 2007, 8:00 am
Raisin wrote:
Quote:
yes, but are these people truly French? Or middle eastern immigrants


And we all know that french men make the best husbands, don't we? Confused They never cheat or lose their temper - just totally perfect gentlemen.


The stereotype for Europe is: in the South they hit and cheat but will help you when you need it, in the North they ignore and neglect but stay calm.
Confused
At least the French don't expect (anymore) their wife to be pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen, in some places it is not a given......
Back to top

mimivan




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 16 2007, 9:16 am
[quote="Tefila"]she will use mikveh as her weapon shock [ quote] This is a huge avera...how can women get away with this? Why doesn't he go to a Rav???
Back to top

mimivan




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 16 2007, 9:20 am
ForeverYoung wrote:
a very sad topick...............


(====================================

One of my colledge classmates told me that after the vort her hosson of about 3 hours took her into a privite room & told her that from now & on she'll be his, she will do what he sais, and he will beat her if she doesn't. And that she will not tell anyone, b/c then he'll brake the engagement & badmouth her & she'll never be able to get engaed or married! Exploding anger
B'H, she had enough confidence to walk out of the room & announce that she's breaking the engagement.


That's actually a good story, because at least he told her before they got married!! Most women in that situation only find out after they get married. Crying
Back to top

Mitzvahmom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 16 2007, 9:23 am
A... I was in an abusive marriage..

It takes tremendous strength to ask for help. and It takes even bigger strength, to walk away.

Additionally if there are children involved, it can be a big fight to proove abuse.. Typically the male has more money, more power. Then the woman is faced with loosing her kids or goign back to the abusive marriage.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Mon, Apr 16 2007, 9:30 am
Everything seemed like it was going to be okay with my husband. I saw his father treat his mother like a queen, and I thought he was going to be the same way. But what I didnt' see before I got married was that his mother would yell at his father and insult him constantly. My husband was verbally abusive and "put me in my place" at the beginning of our marriage and I couldn't understand why he would call me all these names and threatened me. Now I see that he was so afraid of being treated the way his mother treated his father that he decided to put his wife down first. He also talked to his father terribly, without respect.

But it didn't stay this way. My husband hit me and I was going to get out. Right when I was going to call a domestic abuse counselor, My husband called up crying, saying his father died. Crying I cried too, because I have no father, and I really liked his father.

In the year since his father passed away, I have seen a dramatic change in my husband. He says he wants no anger in the house from anyone. He tries to avoid fights, and is a calming influence. I am so sad that it took his father's death to change, and I wish it could have been otherwise, but he has changed.

I just wish people we could look up to our parents and adopt their good traits before they die.
Back to top

Mitzvahmom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 16 2007, 9:36 am
B"H your lucky...
Back to top

amother


 

Post Mon, Apr 16 2007, 10:07 am
Yes, I forgot to add baruch hashem, but I am sorry his father passed away before he could wake up. Iy'h let's hope the changes are permanent
Back to top

Mitzvahmom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 16 2007, 10:13 am
Iy'h they will stay perm!!!
Back to top

shwartzcop




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 16 2007, 11:49 am
I come from a chassidish community where divorcees are very put down and are blamed ......and dont be shocked....alot are abused in there marriages and are tide down.Or there isnt any normal true and honest ppl ....(I'm a lebedige eides)to help them.....or they dont have the courage and stay suffering!Its a big shame that a single women shouldnt have chisuk..and support.....only the opposite......blame....shame.....and suffering...
Back to top
Page 3 of 3 Previous  1  2  3 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Interesting Discussions

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Whats more abusive...?
by amother
12 Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:36 pm View last post
Husbands 50th Birthday
by amother
8 Mon, Mar 04 2024, 1:48 pm View last post
Shoutout to all wives of 8th grade rabbeim and menahalim
by amother
6 Fri, Feb 23 2024, 4:12 pm View last post
Abused as a child AMA
by amother
63 Thu, Oct 05 2023, 1:57 pm View last post
Kollel wives: How much is your husband's stipend?
by amother
32 Wed, Oct 04 2023, 1:19 am View last post