woodmere | Imamother

amother

Wed, Aug 12 2009, 11:56 pm

we are trying to find a place where we can afford to buy a house. I recently heard about woodmere and have some concerns and maybe some of you can help answer my questions. I am nervous about the five towns lifestyle which seems to be very high maintenance and into gashmiyus. also, although ive heard that houses may be affordable, it costs a lot to live there as all the stores have higher prices due to the high ratio of wealthy people.
is woodmere like I described above? also, is Old Woodmere different than the rest of woodmere?
thanks in advance.

amother

Thu, Aug 13 2009, 9:29 am

I live in far Rockaway which is very close to that area (amother because I don't really want my area known)

The five towns is a nice area but with pretty expensive. Taxes within the town of Hempstead (all of the five towns, long beach etc) are INSANE! I is also a more modern place (I am not sure what you are looking for) where ladies do not cover their hair. most likely wear shorts and t-shirst but will still call themselves orthodox SS/SK etc (although there defiantly is a mix)

As far as shopping. In Inwood there is brachs which is where MOST people will shop for their big shopping trips. The grocery stores on centeral do tend to be a bit more expensive (though everything out there is more than borooklyn prices) As far as clothing many people shop at small stores that are out of other's homes for the best deals. Centeral av stores tend to be pricey and when big clothing runs are in order a lot of us schlep out to brooklyn.

As far as the lifestyle in general. if you are planning on sending your kids to a more modern school (hanc halb hafter etc) you will most likely deal with issues with the "kids with money" as I have had MANY MANY MANY friends whose children have had issues with it. If you are looking into One of the other schools (Darchei, tag, siach, south shore, bby etc) you will find this less of a problem.

If you would like to talk in pm just let me know and I will PM you.

amother

Thu, Aug 13 2009, 11:27 am

Hi - I grew up and live in the five towns. (I don't think I've ever heard of "Old Woodmere...") One of my pet peeves is the blanket statement that EVERYONE here is high maintanance. You will find both, and even if people are "HM" (nice houses, more money etc.) they are still wonderful people. Woodmere is a fantastic place to live, there are shiurim and learning going on everywhere for men and women, and the chesed in this community is amazing, which extends to the rest of the five towns and far rockaway. As far as stores, a lot of people will go to Brooklyn for big clothing shops, like the amother above said, but you can definitely find reasonably priced stuff here. The grocery stores are Brachs, Gourmet Glatt and Supersol, and Kosherworld in Bayswater. In Woodmere, there are a lot of people who send their children to Bnos Bais Yaakov, South Shore, Tag and Darchei, which seem like places you would look into. Why don't you spend a Shabbos in the community and see how you like it? Aish could be a great shul for you to spend some time in and meet other people and see what they are like. The taxes are pretty high here. HTH and let me know if you have any more questions.

shabri

Thu, Aug 13 2009, 3:14 pm

I also grew up in Woodmere. I don't live there now but my family does. I agree with the poster above who said not to make blanket statements. You will find all sorts of people there hashkafically and financially. I wouldn't say houses are much cheaper than far rockaway, even in Old Woodmere if you are talking about the Academy area.

Shopping can be more expensive than Brooklyn but def much cheaper than many other areas as there are a bunch of stores that compete with eachother. My sister from Teaneck goes shopping in Woodmere when she is in town.

Def ask more specific questions if you want

amother

Thu, Aug 13 2009, 4:45 pm

op here.
of course you cant make a blanket statement because everybody is never anything. but the five towns do have that reputation. from the people I know, some are modern but many are not, some are high maintenance but many are not. personally, I am not the "keeping up with the joneses" type and it doesnt really concern me to be around that because I can be friends with them without feeling the pressure. however, I dont know how my children will turn out being in that kind of atmosphere and wouldnt them to feel deprived living among people who live on a grander scale than we do.
a lot of people I ask tell me not to move there because the five towns lifestyle is "hottsie tottsie" (not my words) and "brooklynish" (no offense to anyone from brooklyn). then other people tell me it will be fine.
so my specific question to people who live there is, do you feel that there is a general lifestyle that is rich, external, and materialistic? is it the topic of conversation in shul? do you feel poor walking around without a bugaboo? get my drift?
I am just trying to make sense of what I am hearing.

amother

Thu, Aug 13 2009, 5:13 pm

amother wrote:

do you feel that there is a general lifestyle that is rich, external, and materialistic? is it the topic of conversation in shul? do you feel poor walking around without a bugaboo? get my drift?
I am just trying to make sense of what I am hearing.

(amother from above; the one who lives and grew up in the five towns) I can answer a definitive no to all those questions. Like everyone keeps saying, there is a mix of people. Anywhere you go you will find people across the spectrum and the same holds true for the five towns.

amother

Thu, Aug 13 2009, 11:49 pm

Another amother.
We were looking into the 5T - and if you're not fancy, I would not live there. We're really not fancy and went to look at North Woodmere (we have friends there) - it's more our hashkafa, more to the right, and mabe a tad less fancy. Well, it's still too fancy for us. It's a lovely community, but if you can't keep up with the Cohens while everyone else is you're going to feel out of place. And, your kids will be the ones with less than. The kids do know.

It's not just affording a house - we could, it's the fancy cars and clothes and camps and schools and everything else. I buy my kids clothes at the CHildren's place - it's just not done (from what my friends said). No one will say anything, but you will be different. And the women all dress and look like models. They're very nice, but fancy.

But as I said, we have friends that live there, and more that are going to move there. It's a very nice community with a good rabbi and more to the right than other areas in the 5T

amother

Fri, Aug 14 2009, 6:44 am

I am the amother from the "philadelphia" thread if anyone saw that one, just so you can know where I am coming from.
I live in the five towns, and here is my take.
You really have a range of everything here. I think in the more modern schools (HALB, HAFTR and HANC), and the shuls that correspond to those (Beth Israel type), you have alot more of this keeping up with the Joneses. Like you really have t drive a range rover, escalade, ect in order to even be looked at. and it trickles down to the kids.
OTOH, I think in the communities that are more to the right (either "black hat" or "right wing YU"- and the women cover their hair), you will find much more of a range when it comes to finances and what you spend on. There are more comfortable people whose kids are dressed in designers, and more comfortable people whose kids dress in gap clothes. Then there are also more middle class people who are less comfortable but still making it whose kids wear gap clothes. what I see here as strikingly different from Flatbush (where I grew up), is that among the middle class/less comfortable but still ok crowd, there are less people wearing designer or behaving in that "better than jonses " way! I think people are just overall more accepting. there can be that pressure, and you can buy into that pressurized world of Bugaboo vs Stokke and who drives the better car. Or, you can buy all those things and just enjoy them but no pressure. or you can not buy any of those things and no one really cares or notices much. I think people are more open here, and you see all types.
I have a full time live in, drive a nice car, and dress my kids in more expensive clothes. My neighbor, who is one of my closest friends from the neighborhood, totally does not at all. Her parents and ILs helped them buy a house, her DH has a good paying chinuch type job, and their house is more run down. I dont care what she does, and she doesnt care what I do. I love that its like that here, you can have friends of all types. The moset "judgemental" types here, are flatbush transplanted girls who are "SAHMs" (nothing against SAHMs in general - just this specific type!) who have live ins or f/t housekeepers and spend their days shopping on central avenue or getting manicures. you do have a few of those, but you can totally keep your distance. Otherwise, I really dont find it to be too judgmental. The types who are judgmental here (in the frummer crowds, not the modern orthodox crowds), tend to be the ones who arent all that bright and whose parents are paying everything and who are superficial to begin with.

momaleh

Fri, Aug 14 2009, 2:22 pm

Just my 2 cents -

I have lots of family there. Yes, they are quite frum and there is lots of great stuff, shiurim, etc. there. BUT, I see it very difficult not to get drawn into the $$$$. One relative is definitely not wealthy and etremely yeshivish and not the fancy type, but still has two cars and looking to buy a new Maclaren and has a beatifully decrated home. And they are great people! All of my friends there are wonderful. My opinion is that people who say "not everyone is like that" is drawn in enough that they don't realize they are because they are no where as materialistic as others, but it's there even if it's more subtle. If you don't like the materialistic lifestyle, I don't think you'll like the neighborhood.

amother

Tue, May 17 2011, 8:52 pm

I know this is a really old thread but this OP is exactly where I am right now (hey, OP, if you're still there- where are you now?? any tips??)
I would also prefer Far Rockaway but definitely can't afford a decent house there that's not in the 'ghetto' part. We were told some ppl. are trying Cedarhurst as it is MUCH more affordable. However, you run into the whole "5 Towns" prob. there, just like this Woodmere thread.
I currently live in Flatbush, my DH is from NJ and we'd like a nice heimish type place but w/o the "Flatbushy" presence. We're not yeshivish, just plain Orthodox, and would prob. send to TAG and Derech?

If all the 5 Towns are out bec. too materialistic etc...then what's left?? (not intersted in Bayswater)

amother

Wed, May 18 2011, 1:32 am

Cedarhurst has a nice mix of "oldies" who have lived there for ever, "newbies" who moved in from Brooklyn for bigger houses with more land, and "transplants" - kids who grew up in the 5T/FR and love the area, but chose Cedarhurst since it is the most affordable, besides for Inwood. The oldies and transplants are generally the ones who are really friendly and non-judgemental. Some with money and some without, but don't notice who has what type- s/o with $ might ask you to go out to lunch and if you say it's not in your budget, will tell you she'll pay because she has more than enough and doesn't want to eat out by herself. The "newbies" are the ones thatgenerally give the 5T a bad reputation. Kids must wear Juicy. Must go to hotel for Pesach. Must have full-time live in maid, etc. Would never invite you out to lunch because you didn't manicure your nails with the 'in' color.

amother

Wed, May 18 2011, 1:30 pm

The biggest problem with the five towns and Cedarhurst\Woodmere is the influx of people from Brooklyn. They are the ones who give teh five towns the spoiled jappy name. Most people who are here for a long time wish all the ex Brooklyn people would move back to Flatbush. That being said in the five towns there is a large group of people who do not cover their hair and keep to tzinuis rules per se. They though are the not the ones you need to worry about with keeping up with the Jones. They are older established familes - its more of a younger generational issue.