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House vs. apartment and little children
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amother


 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 11:43 am
We are be”H buying a house. Now we live in a relatively small 2-bedroom apt and have 2 kids under 3. I am excited to have more space because we are so crowded right now (my dh has TONS of seforim that take up a lot of space) but I am a little worried about totally changing the set up I am so used to. For example I have a 14 month old. He walks really well but I am scared he will climb up and down the stairs and fall a lot. Do I need 2 gates on the stairs always? Also how will I hear the kids if they wake up upstairs and I am in the kitchen washing dishes etc? I would love to make a rule of no toys outside of their room (our apartment now is SUCH a mess because the kids have toys everywhere) but then when I am feeding them dinner etc they usually play on the floor next to me so I don’t know how I will manage.

These might sound really stupid but I am trying to prepare myself mentally for this exciting change.

Any advice is appreciated!
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BrachaC




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 11:49 am
If you are worried then gates are a good idea. It is not usually feasible for kids to not have toys on the first floor even if there is no playroom. When we moved to our first house my oldest (was 4 at the time) did not like the idea that I would go downstairs and she would have to stay in her bed upstairs. We bought a baby monitor and allowed her to "test" us- she could call us and make sure we could hear her. She was comfortable knowing we could hear her. I think that aside from the sleeping issue it was very exciting for us to have a real upstairs and downstairs. More privacy, we could make more noise at night after the kids went to bed etc. Now we are in a split-level and have lost that luxury (among others) and I am still struggling with getting the kids to sleep when we have visitors at night.
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Marion




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 11:49 am
Yes, 2 gates (one at the bottom & one at the top).

Depends on the house. I bought a baby monitor so we could hear from downstairs, then discovered I could hear from everywhere (including the laundry room with the washing machine running).

Our mess control rule is that it's DH's job to pick up whatever's still out at the end of the day. At least we START the day with a clean floor!
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Atali




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 11:50 am
I live in a three floor house and have three kids under 6.

My thirteen month old DD can't walk yet but can crawl up and down stairs safely and we don't have a gate. I am of the school of thought that as a general rule it is better not to have gates but rather to teach your child to go up the stairs safely. Your DS should be fine at his age.

If your kids cry when you are downstairs, you just go upstairs and get them. You should still be able to hear them (I certainly can).

I also tried the keep the toys in your room thing, but it didn't work for me.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 12:05 pm
Atali wrote:
I live in a three floor house and have three kids under 6.

My thirteen month old DD can't walk yet but can crawl up and down stairs safely and we don't have a gate. I am of the school of thought that as a general rule it is better not to have gates but rather to teach your child to go up the stairs safely. Your DS should be fine at his age.
If your kids cry when you are downstairs, you just go upstairs and get them. You should still be able to hear them (I certainly can).

I also tried the keep the toys in your room thing, but it didn't work for me.


I hate to break the news to you, but even you can teach your kids from today till tomorrow, as I am sure you are aware of, but I have seen on my block and a few blocks away, a "seasoned experienced 18 month old" go crashing down a flight of stairs and get a concussion. Ive also seen an "experienced" 2 year old knock out 2 front teeth from taking a step back at the top of ungated stairs. You cant trust kids, especially 14 month olds and accidents do happen. Thats what gates were created for.

(You can also teach a 14 month old not to touch an open fire, so does that mean you leave him by an open flame with a pot on top of it?)

OP, IMHO, get yourself 2 gates, as another poster said- my youngest kid is almost 4 and I still close a gate every night on the top of the stairs should the child go to the bathroom at night and get disoriented , and C'V walk in the wrong direction.... IMO you can never be too safe....
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mimsy7420




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 12:06 pm
You should for sure put up gates at the bottom and top of stairs. My 2 year old can do stairs well now but she didn't when we moved here. I also am nervous she can get out of bed in the middle of the night and get confused, so we always lock the top gate at night. I just need the piece of mind when I am busy in kitchen that no one is doing anything dangerous like going up and down stairs unattended, especially for when my infants start crawling.

You will most probably be able to hear upstairs unless you are moving to a big big house. Or just a get a monitor.

I don't have any toys upstairs at all, they are in my basement and family room. No toys anywhere else in the house!
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ss321




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 1:22 pm
Atali wrote:

My thirteen month old DD can't walk yet but can crawl up and down stairs safely and we don't have a gate. I am of the school of thought that as a general rule it is better not to have gates but rather to teach your child to go up the stairs safely. Your DS should be fine at his age.


and you intend on doing this by.......
just telling her "no, honey, we dont go near the stairs?"?????????????????????????

PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE SAFETEY OF YOUR CHILDREN GET YOURSELF A GATE!!!
ONE TRIP DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS AND CH"V.................
Is it worth it? to "trust? a 13 month old???

we teach our kids that the stove is a "no no" but I will never leave them unattended in the kitchen with it on anyway, or with anything just freshly boiled.

not getting a gate is like putting a 1 yr old ON THE COUNTER next to the flame and saying, DONT TOUCH IT, IT IS HOT AND WILL HURT YOU!

This is by far one of the scariest things I have read on imamother.

I am very anti not vaccnating, but I think this is even worse than the risk to a kids life by not vaccinating them - this is clear and present danger. OMG.


Anyway, to the OP - yes, you should get 2 gates, one for the top, one for the bottom Wink

(and if you have basement, make that 3 or 4, depending on whether or not there is a door or just an entryway to the basement)
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 1:34 pm
I used to live in a house and hated it since my dd was able to ask for lifts up and down. It's just terrible and not practical. I love my apt bh!!!
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 1:50 pm
invest in a gate, a baby monitor, and 1 toy box for downstairs

you'll be all set to go - good luck on your move !!!
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Atali




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 1:57 pm
ss321 wrote:
Atali wrote:

My thirteen month old DD can't walk yet but can crawl up and down stairs safely and we don't have a gate. I am of the school of thought that as a general rule it is better not to have gates but rather to teach your child to go up the stairs safely. Your DS should be fine at his age.


and you intend on doing this by.......
just telling her "no, honey, we dont go near the stairs?"?????????????????????????

PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE SAFETEY OF YOUR CHILDREN GET YOURSELF A GATE!!!
ONE TRIP DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS AND CH"V.................
Is it worth it? to "trust? a 13 month old???

we teach our kids that the stove is a "no no" but I will never leave them unattended in the kitchen with it on anyway, or with anything just freshly boiled.

not getting a gate is like putting a 1 yr old ON THE COUNTER next to the flame and saying, DONT TOUCH IT, IT IS HOT AND WILL HURT YOU!

This is by far one of the scariest things I have read on imamother.

I am very anti not vaccnating, but I think this is even worse than the risk to a kids life by not vaccinating them - this is clear and present danger. OMG.


Anyway, to the OP - yes, you should get 2 gates, one for the top, one for the bottom Wink

(and if you have basement, make that 3 or 4, depending on whether or not there is a door or just an entryway to the basement)


I simply don't agree on this one.

Kids who do not know how to safely handle stairs are much less safe around stairs than those who do.

I am also not leaving my kids unsupervised either. I watch her when she goes up and down the stairs. At 13 months that is certainly possible.

My stairs are also not straight up. They curve at the top, which means that if she were to trip at the top of the stairs the furthest she would fall is down two carpeted steps. I also have a carpeted landing at the bottom of the main section.

It is also not at all similar to a fire. Proper use of a fire requires a high level judgment, while walking down the stairs simply requires motor skills and experience.

Also, you do realize that stair gates are a relatively recent invention. What do you think people did 100 years ago?
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Marion




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 2:22 pm
Atali wrote:
ss321 wrote:
Atali wrote:

My thirteen month old DD can't walk yet but can crawl up and down stairs safely and we don't have a gate. I am of the school of thought that as a general rule it is better not to have gates but rather to teach your child to go up the stairs safely. Your DS should be fine at his age.


and you intend on doing this by.......
just telling her "no, honey, we dont go near the stairs?"?????????????????????????

PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE SAFETEY OF YOUR CHILDREN GET YOURSELF A GATE!!!
ONE TRIP DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS AND CH"V.................
Is it worth it? to "trust? a 13 month old???

we teach our kids that the stove is a "no no" but I will never leave them unattended in the kitchen with it on anyway, or with anything just freshly boiled.

not getting a gate is like putting a 1 yr old ON THE COUNTER next to the flame and saying, DONT TOUCH IT, IT IS HOT AND WILL HURT YOU!

This is by far one of the scariest things I have read on imamother.

I am very anti not vaccnating, but I think this is even worse than the risk to a kids life by not vaccinating them - this is clear and present danger. OMG.


Anyway, to the OP - yes, you should get 2 gates, one for the top, one for the bottom Wink

(and if you have basement, make that 3 or 4, depending on whether or not there is a door or just an entryway to the basement)


I simply don't agree on this one.

Kids who do not know how to safely handle stairs are much less safe around stairs than those who do.

I am also not leaving my kids unsupervised either. I watch her when she goes up and down the stairs. At 13 months that is certainly possible.

My stairs are also not straight up. They curve at the top, which means that if she were to trip at the top of the stairs the furthest she would fall is down two carpeted steps. I also have a carpeted landing at the bottom of the main section.

It is also not at all similar to a fire. Proper use of a fire requires a high level judgment, while walking down the stairs simply requires motor skills and experience.

Also, you do realize that stair gates are a relatively recent invention. What do you think people did 100 years ago?


How many people had multiple storey homes 100 years ago?

In any case, you can still teach your child to be proficient at the stairs, but it would still be prudent to have gates. My kids are very good at stairs...and there are times I just don't want them up there, so I close the gate at the bottom.
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Atali




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 3:08 pm
Marion wrote:
Atali wrote:
ss321 wrote:
Atali wrote:

My thirteen month old DD can't walk yet but can crawl up and down stairs safely and we don't have a gate. I am of the school of thought that as a general rule it is better not to have gates but rather to teach your child to go up the stairs safely. Your DS should be fine at his age.


and you intend on doing this by.......
just telling her "no, honey, we dont go near the stairs?"?????????????????????????

PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE SAFETEY OF YOUR CHILDREN GET YOURSELF A GATE!!!
ONE TRIP DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS AND CH"V.................
Is it worth it? to "trust? a 13 month old???

we teach our kids that the stove is a "no no" but I will never leave them unattended in the kitchen with it on anyway, or with anything just freshly boiled.

not getting a gate is like putting a 1 yr old ON THE COUNTER next to the flame and saying, DONT TOUCH IT, IT IS HOT AND WILL HURT YOU!

This is by far one of the scariest things I have read on imamother.

I am very anti not vaccnating, but I think this is even worse than the risk to a kids life by not vaccinating them - this is clear and present danger. OMG.


Anyway, to the OP - yes, you should get 2 gates, one for the top, one for the bottom Wink

(and if you have basement, make that 3 or 4, depending on whether or not there is a door or just an entryway to the basement)


I simply don't agree on this one.

Kids who do not know how to safely handle stairs are much less safe around stairs than those who do.

I am also not leaving my kids unsupervised either. I watch her when she goes up and down the stairs. At 13 months that is certainly possible.

My stairs are also not straight up. They curve at the top, which means that if she were to trip at the top of the stairs the furthest she would fall is down two carpeted steps. I also have a carpeted landing at the bottom of the main section.

It is also not at all similar to a fire. Proper use of a fire requires a high level judgment, while walking down the stairs simply requires motor skills and experience.

Also, you do realize that stair gates are a relatively recent invention. What do you think people did 100 years ago?


How many people had multiple storey homes 100 years ago?

In any case, you can still teach your child to be proficient at the stairs, but it would still be prudent to have gates. My kids are very good at stairs...and there are times I just don't want them up there, so I close the gate at the bottom.


In the US there were plenty of multi-story homes back then.

I do however like the idea of a gate to keep kids out of rooms or to keep them on one floor so that you don't have to follow them up to supervise them. However, in a hpuse like mine with a metal railing it isn't practical.
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pecan




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 3:16 pm
I consider it child neglect to leave children unsupervised on steps.
How do you intend to watch your children every second of the day?
If you want to teach your children to go up and down, take the gate off for ten minutes a day and supervise them going up and down.
I have a friend who also believed in letting her baby - seven month old learn how to go up and down herself. Last I heard, her baby went to the hospital for falling down the steps.
I think people who don't put up gates are uneducated about the possible dangers that can occur, chas vesholom.
Kids have died r"l from falling down stairs.
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Tamiri




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 3:30 pm
I'm with Atali. When we lived in houses with stairs, we taught the kids how to go up and down. Down was on their belly, sliding from step to step. Even in this house we have in Israel, with stone steps. We taught them to be very, very careful. Their mother or someone else was always around to make sure they were safe. It's good to be protective of children, but it's also good to help them towards independence.
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Atali




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 3:31 pm
pecan wrote:
I consider it child neglect to leave children unsupervised on steps.
How do you intend to watch your children every second of the day?
If you want to teach your children to go up and down, take the gate off for ten minutes a day and supervise them going up and down.
I have a friend who also believed in letting her baby - seven month old learn how to go up and down herself. Last I heard, her baby went to the hospital for falling down the steps.
I think people who don't put up gates are uneducated about the possible dangers that can occur, chas vesholom.
Kids have died r"l from falling down stairs.


Kids who live in houses with gates are much more likely to fall down the stairs the one time you forget to close it than those who can do so safely.
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Atali




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 3:32 pm
Tamiri wrote:
I'm with Atali. When we lived in houses with stairs, we taught the kids how to go up and down. Down was on their belly, sliding from step to step. Even in this house we have in Israel, with stone steps. We taught them to be very, very careful. Their mother or someone else was always around to make sure they were safe. It's good to be protective of children, but it's also good to help them towards independence.


Thank you Tamiri.

However, if I had stone steps I would probably carpet them if possible.
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Hashem_Yaazor




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 3:42 pm
I don't have steps, but I'm usually of the mindset to stop this overprotection of everything and teach children what is safe, what is not, know each child and watch them accordingly.
Just blocking everything off doesn't teach them how to close cabinets safely, etc.
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Tamiri




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 3:43 pm
Atali wrote:

However, if I had stone steps I would probably carpet them if possible.
This is Israel, babe. Land of sand and dust. Carpets are shmootz traps. The floors are all stone too. Kids learn.
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Atali




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 3:44 pm
Hashem_Yaazor wrote:
I don't have steps, but I'm usually of the mindset to stop this overprotection of everything and teach children what is safe, what is not, know each child and watch them accordingly.
Just blocking everything off doesn't teach them how to close cabinets safely, etc.


Yes
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Atali




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 20 2009, 3:45 pm
Tamiri wrote:
Atali wrote:

However, if I had stone steps I would probably carpet them if possible.
This is Israel, babe. Land of sand and dust. Carpets are shmootz traps. The floors are all stone too. Kids learn.


In that case I would at least put a rubber mat at the bottom and pads on the steps, just as an extra precaution.
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