abusive doctor? | Imamother

amother

Mon, Aug 31 2009, 3:40 pm

I had a horrible experience or rather I should say my 4 year old dd had a horrible experience at a new doctor that we went to.
My dd was very nervous and anxious about what the doc was going to do. He was very patient with her and kept explaining things to her and asking her does she want to sit or stand etc. I personally thought he was to patient..he should have just done the procedure one two three and got it over with. Meanwhile, after he finished my dd just burst. She was screaming and crying letting out all the tension I guess? Then the doc starting screaming, rather SCREAAAMing at her! I've never heard anyone yell so loud. He yelled BE QUIET!!!!!!! STOP CRYING RIGHT NOW!!! THERE IS NO CRYING IN MY OFFICE, I WAS NICE TO YOU. BE QUIET NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
During the whole thing I was shocked. It worked my daughter shut up that secodn but we were both tramaized, I was tramatized for not sticking up for my poor daughter but I didnt know if I should scream back or what I should say to this doctor! I feel so bad and like such a bad mother.
THis method of screaming at her worked but is that abuse?? I calle my pediatricians office who recomeended him and they said dont go back. Which I wasnt planning on doing anyway. Help, what do you think???
he also made some other wierd comment. I wouldnt shake his hand so he said your orthodox, oh is that why you're wearing a wig??? this guy said hes islam but his mother was jewish.
anyway, was this so called doctor abusive and what do I do now? forget about it?? (I reassured my dd and said we'll never go backetc we'll find a new one....)

ss321

Mon, Aug 31 2009, 3:47 pm

amother wrote:

abusive? no. unprofessional, yes.
nothing to do. you complained, your PCP (daughters pediatrician) knows about the incident, there is nothing you really can do.
he didnt break any law, so its not like you can report him to the states medical board for being rude. perhaps he was having a bad day and his jewish mom or muslim dad just died (does NOT excuse it). perhaps these were his true colors shining thru, who knows. either way, dont go back, and reassure your daughter that this was an abberation and that doctors are very nice people who want to make 4 year olds better and fix their boo boos so that she doesnt freak out next time remembering the trauma she went thru with that guy.

wig comment = also unprofessional, but no he did not break any law.

"so called doctor" - he is a doctor by virtue of the fact that he graduated from an institution that granted him a Medical Degree (hence M.D.) after having successfully completed the coursework. Being a doctor doesnt make you a mentch...but he is still a doctor Wink

just sayin. (unfortunately not a very nice one)

marina

Mon, Aug 31 2009, 10:15 pm

A long, long time ago, I took my four year old to get a strep test. The doctor ignored her, explained to me that she needs to get her mouth open and when my four year old refused, she called an assistant in and they both began holding her down and trying to pry her mouth open. The whole time my kid is crying.

I took about sixty seconds of watching this and then yelled at the doctor to leave. She had some sort of attitude and told me that she can't do anything if my kid won't open my mouth. After I calmed my child down, I had the doctor come in and do the test quickly. Then I sent my daughter out of the room and TOTALLY CHEWED the doctor out for her outrageous behavior and atrocious bedside manner and rapport skills. Then I left and never went back to that practice. The end.

amother

Mon, Aug 31 2009, 11:05 pm

you want abusive?
heres abusive
my husband has a small mouth, literaly. He can't open it very wide at all!
his dentist used to threaten him when he was a child that if he doesn't open his mouth wider he is going to use the clamps.
My husband COULDN'T open his mouth wider it just isn't built that way and the clamps were PAINFUL.
The dentist would force them on him subjecting him to much physical pain.

He thought all dentists were like that until he went to a new one who was much much nicer.