Luxuries vs. necessities

Tefila

Thu, Jan 13 2005, 2:44 pm

It really depends you know for us here in Canada air conditioning could very well be a luxury, whereas someone living elsewhere centralized modern heating would be a luxury!
For some two cars would be a nessecity if one uses one for work and is therefore not available, and the other one is used for picking up and taking kids to school etc for others it may well be a luxury.
Cleaning help daily could be a nessesity for one person and a luxury for someone else etc
For me some food I.e. brisket, steak weekly would be classified as a luxury whereas for others it is a nessesity.
So it is not that simple. Each person has to define their lifestyle and decide honestly what is a luxury and what is not!!!!!

Rivka

Sat, Jan 15 2005, 4:23 pm

Depends on your priorities. Some people their priority is to go out once week with hubby, while some might think that a luxury.
But I think you need to pamper yourself sometimes and the way I do it is by every week saving up a bit of money so I can afford something I really want.
That way I am not spending what I don't have and I cut back on stuff I feel maybe I don;'t really need and also at the end it's like a prize.

zuncompany

Sat, Jan 15 2005, 5:31 pm

I think it depends on the person. For me I have to eat meat. I get anemic otherwise. As my docs always tell me... better to eat red meat more often than take the pills. I agree cause the pills make me sick!!! For us going out is a huge huge treat. We don't do it often at all. Even getting frozen pizza is a treat. I ususally make my own. Until we get to NY again (IY"H tomorrrow) dairy is a treat cause its so expensive where we live.

Sara

AweSumThenSum

Sat, Jan 15 2005, 6:34 pm

I think a large part of the necessity vs. luxury concept is in the perspective we take towards our materialistic possessions. most of us live w/ more than the absolute bare minimum required to survive, so in a sense we all live in luxury.

curlyhead

Sun, Jan 16 2005, 1:55 am

as the years go on people are have more neccesities. My grandmother told me that none of her kids stared school till 5. imagine having 3-4 kids at home. now most people send their kids at 2-3.How about computers- now everyone has them - 15-20 years ago how many of you had computers?

613

Tue, Jan 18 2005, 8:59 am

my dh always says that what one generation has as luxuries, the next generation will think of as necessities. for example, if you grew up with every kid in your house having the luxury of their own room, then it would seem like a necessity for your kids to have their own rooms, too.
my dh and I have an on-going disagreement on whether disposable products (paper plates, cups, aluminum pans) are a luxury (ie. waste of $) or necessity (my opinion is the latter).

ForeverYoung
Guest

Tue, Jan 18 2005, 9:33 am

you know, the real nesseseties are:
1. somwhere to live
2. water
3. enough food (not too much, and cross out the desert & junk)
4. something to ware.
5. health

Lehavdil, but look at the tzunami regions - they do not want anything else.

What we think we need is dictated by our scosiety.

In vast majority of cases when people say: "I need" they really mean "I want"

Somewhere (oh, my bad memory!! Exploding anger

) it says that once we know what we really need, we will be able to really appreciate what we have, and will not be as upset if we lost it.

yehudis

Tue, Jan 18 2005, 10:16 am

But many things that we perceive as needs are also based on the society's view of them.

Honestly, I would have loved to keep my daughter home for another year, until 5. But there are two problems with that: 1) she won't have anybody her age to play with, since other kids will be in school; 2) our school choices will be very limited, because the smaller schools around here are filled up by kindergarten.

Motek

Sun, Apr 03 2005, 3:44 pm

(from Shimon Apisdorf’s Passover book)

If a friend needed to borrow one of our cars for a couple of days, I’m sure my wife and I would try to be accommodating. On the other hand, if they needed it for a month or two, we would have to apologize and explain that we really can’t manage with just one car.

Recently, something happened that forced us to rethink this position. One of our cars broke down. And it took a month to get the right parts! So how did we deal with this suburban catastrophe? Did we rent? Did we borrow? Did we steal? No, we simply managed. With an adjustment here, some juggling over there, and an added bit of patience all around, we were able to adjust our schedules, give one another rides, make alternative arrangements, and barely miss a beat in our busy schedules. We also had the pleasure of some extra time together.

Funny, isn’t it? There are so many possessions that we simply “can’t live without,” until of course we have to.

Motek

Mon, May 23 2005, 12:00 pm

I just read an article about a man who lives in Yerushalayim. He and his wife raised his eight children in an apartment with one and a half rooms (I think that's not counting the kitchen). At first, they didn't even have a refrigerator. The bathroom was down the hall.

And he's not the only one, by far! Many, many religious families in Yerushalayim have large families and raise them in tiny apartments.

Just to compare - A relative of mine bought a house. It's a really small house, but it has a large backyard and a basement. It's a huge palace compared to what some families have in Yerushalayim!

Now my relative's family has grown and she's feeling really cramped in her small house. A contractor was shocked that she had only one bathroom on the top floor where the bedrooms are, for two adults and six children (the baby doesn't use the bathroom yet!).

But she has another bathroom on the main floor and another bathroom in the basement!

She feels guilty about wanting to move or expand her house, knowing that others have larger families and much, much smaller quarters. She concludes that different places have different standards and it's not wrong for her to feel uncomfortable in her small house (but she still feels guilty ...)

But it does go to show that a lot of our discomfort is in our mind, how we perceive things based on our upbringing and environment, and not always directly in our physical circumstances.

daisylover

Sat, Jun 04 2005, 8:08 pm

my mother used to always say, "do you want it or do you need it?"

I come from a very large family (12) adn money did not, lets just say, grow on trees!! it was quite tight, and so this was said alot.

if we were really honest and said that we need that specific thing, then with no doubt we had it the next day

smile

Sun, Jun 05 2005, 3:25 am

It depends on each family. For example my mother in law has a expensive holiday once a year where we for example not such a big one but we get sometimes every few motze shabbos a take away. She would find that not necesary. But for us it is the only time my husband and I can have a night in without me doing all the work for it.