Transition to a bed

sky

Wed, Oct 14 2009, 1:50 pm

Ds is almost 3 1/2. He is still in a crib but I want to move him to a bed because he stays dry most nights and wakes up to go to the bathroom some nights and I want him to go on his own, and I'm iy'h expecting #3 and don't want to buy a 3rd crib.

I went with ds to the store and we bought a guard rail for his bed and we bought special linen for his bed. He was very excited. Night #1 he lasted in bed for 30 minutes and then asked to be put in his crib. Last night he lasted about 10 minutes before climbing out and saying "Mommy I can't stay in my bed so I need to go into the crib".

I think he just likes the secuirty that the crib provides. I'm not sure if I should just leave it and eventually he will want to switch or if I should work with him and get him into the bed - but I'm not sure how to do that.

imamama

Wed, Oct 14 2009, 4:59 pm

My nearly-3-year-old is still in a crib, and I was beginning to think I was the only mother on Earth that let their kid sleep in a crib at that age, so this makes me feel a bit better. Smile

As for your dilemma, would you be able to lay with him, or sit in his room with him until he falls asleep? If you think it's a sense of security that's lacking, maybe your presence can help him relax.

sky

Wed, Oct 14 2009, 5:03 pm

imamama wrote:

My nearly-3-year-old is still in a crib, and I was beginning to think I was the only mother on Earth that let their kid sleep in a crib at that age, so this makes me feel a bit better. Smile

The first night in the bed dh was home and layed down with him in bed but ds just sat there looking around. It could be if I do it for a few nights it will work. I just have to find the time.

If I wasn't expecting I'd probably leave him the crib still, he really is happy there. Except my SIL told me that if I leave him in there too long and other kids find out then they will make fun of him for still being in a crib.

Atali

Wed, Oct 14 2009, 5:07 pm

This may be a strange sugestion, but what if you teach him how to lower the drop-side himslef so he can go to the bathroom.

As for the baby, borrow a bassinet for the first few months. By then he will probably be ready to leave on his own. If he senses you are kicking him out because of the baby, it may cause him to resent him or her ("Why does the baby get the crib? It's MINE!!!!!!")

sky

Wed, Oct 14 2009, 5:10 pm

The wall of the crib is hard to lower, I don't do it myself because I have a hard time. I lift all 39 lbs of him over the rail every time he has to use the bathroom. But maybe I should try just lowering it and keeping it lowered.

Right now he has no clue a baby is coming and I was hoping to have him in a bed for a month before. Have ds#2 in the crib. And the new baby in the ds #2's crib (it is a pack 'n play). this way he would have time to get used to it before the baby. But it doesn't look like that will work right now.

Atali

Wed, Oct 14 2009, 5:16 pm

If you are eight months pregnant, are you sure he has no idea? My (then) 3.5 year old seemed to figure it out when I was about 4.5 months (I was quite big), but seemed to nervous to ask, so he dropped hints ("Mommy, if we have another baby...") until I told him.

Even if he does have no idea, he will find out soon enough and one month is not nearly enough time to get over losing his crib. He would need at least three or four months for that.

Get a bassinet.

imasinger

Wed, Oct 14 2009, 5:19 pm

Can you leave the crib rail lowered? In a lot of cribs, that's still similar to a guard rail on the bed, and then he can get out himself.

I gave my kids some time to choose between the baby crib or the big kid bed. Other than what I called it, I accepted whatever decision they wanted for that night, and supported the choice. But in the morning, if they chose the bed, I praised them for being so big. It never took longer than 2 weeks or so for them to decide they were done with the crib.

sky

Wed, Oct 14 2009, 9:53 pm

I wonder if he knows I'm having a baby. He sometimes says "Mommy when we have a new baby...". But I really don't think he sees a connection at all - how should he know there is a baby inside? Sometimes I wonder if he even notices my stomach is bigger.

I already own 1 crib and 2 pack 'n plays (one by the sitter). I guess I'll have to buy a bassinet then for the baby like you said. I just hate the idea of having to store another piece of furniture later.

I thought if ds #2 moved into his crib, rather then the baby, he wouldn't mind so much because they sometimes switch cribs at night by choice, so he has seen ds #2 in his crib.

Tonight he didn't even want the bed at all. He went right into the crib. Maybe I'll try what imasinger said and leave the gaurdrail down all night and see how he feels about that - I just have to figure out how to lower it.

rowo

Wed, Oct 14 2009, 11:20 pm

I think you'll probably need a bassinet in either case. (can you borrow one?)
ds was a bit over 2 and the transition took a good few weeks. (dd was growing out of the bassinet and did not want to buy another cot).
first night he was soo excited. but after story and shema, burst into tears and wanted to got back to his cot. I dont remember how long it took exactly, but for a while we let him choose, often he would nap in one and sleep for the night in the other. eventually he got used to the bed. but we still left the cot in his room, so it was still there if he wanted.
then moved it out of his room, but didn't put the baby in straight away (partly b/c it was a bit much to deal with her transition at the same time) so it wasnt like he had been kicked out for dd. after a short while he was firmly established in his bed, and he saw the cot as something for a baby, so he was fine when dd did move in.
basically it takes time for some kids to leave the security of their cot.

Twizzlers

Wed, Oct 14 2009, 11:23 pm

I just put my 3 year old into a bed. he also wanted to stay in the crib, but I had to take him out since he was climbing out of his crib, across the changing table, and into his brothers crib! so I had to put a stop to that. he is in a toddler bed (hand me down from my brother Smile

) so its not as intimidating as a real bed maybe.
still, I do find him sometimes curled up on the floor with his pillow and blanket....

mummiedearest

Wed, Oct 14 2009, 11:27 pm

are you putting him in a twin bed or a toddler bed? he may feel insecure in a twin bed. it could be too big for him. why not put his crib mattress on the floor and let him sleep on that? he may be more comfortable like that. once he's used to that you can transition him to a big bed.

and I wouldn't invest in a bassinet just yet. a newborn can sleep in a flat stroller for a while. hopefully your son will be fully out of the crib by the time you need it for the baby.

Atali

Wed, Oct 14 2009, 11:41 pm

sky wrote:

He may well know that you are pregnant. Kids seem to have a sense about these things. Also, if he goes to preschool or childcare one of the other kids may have noticed if you are showing at said something (many kids already know that big tummies mean that a baby is in there).

It seemed quite obvious to me that my DS knew.

You don't have to buy the bassinet--borrow one. Alternatively, if our stroller comes with a bassinet attachment you can use that.