work with no financial gain

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Forum -> Working Women

Work with no financial gain

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curlyhead

Tue, Jan 18 2005, 4:55 am

Would you work if it was not even worth it finacially??
Is it worth it to get a job which after taxes only covers babysitting?

sarahd

Tue, Jan 18 2005, 5:35 am

I personally would not do so, but I guess it depends on how desperately you need to get out of the house. A job from which you earn nothing is still a better bargain than having to pay a therapist! Very Happy

rydys

Tue, Jan 18 2005, 6:55 am

How many people do you know who volunteer for multiple comittees? That's work for no financial gain! If it is something you enjoy and you are not cut out to stay home all day and you don't need the money, why not?

Tefila

Tue, Jan 18 2005, 10:20 am

Here I agree with rydys if it's part time like morn or afternoons and you feel you need to get out and speak with adults..... catch my drift, then do it. But if the reason is to earn money then no it's not good enough of a reason to go!

Motek

Tue, Jan 18 2005, 10:29 am

if a woman is interesting/willing to work without financial gain, than how about her donating her time to a worthy cause?

an organization might be willing to cover her expenses like travel and babysitting

Pearl

Tue, Jan 18 2005, 11:17 am

at this moment, I am providing for our family, but if that wouldn't be the case, I don't think I would work if there wouldn't be financial gain. I would consider volenteering somewhere, in order to be with people, do something useful. but reality is, I always had to work in order to bring in some money.... Smile

AweSumThenSum

Tue, Jan 18 2005, 11:21 am

absolutely!! the mental stimulation (and if ure talking about tzedakah work such as volunteering, then add the schar and spiritual benefits) is worth a lot more than the bottom line.

Tefila

Tue, Jan 18 2005, 11:28 am

But would these volunteer organizations atchually pay babysitting and travel expenses???????

zuncompany

Tue, Jan 18 2005, 11:51 am

I don't teach anymore for this reason. I would rather be home raising my kids and what I was making after taxes would cover daycare and maybe a cup of coffee in the morning. It didn't make sense! When I am done having kids (yes, I will know when this is cause a body can only have so many c/s) and all my little ones are out either I will either teach again or volunteer. However my place is home with my kiddies since we can afford it and I love being home. If I didn't love being home, than maybe I would consider. Yes, some places will provide childcare- not worth it in my eyes.

sara

AweSumThenSum

Tue, Jan 18 2005, 9:31 pm

it's taken me a while to come to terms w/ my guilt. most of the time my work did not conflict with my home life, but there were times (and as the kids get older, the times decrease in frequency) when I felt really guilty about not being home - like when my daughter had midwinter vc for 4 days and I was only able to spend 2 with her. however, I think what helped me deal with it was adopting this perspective "if I HADTO work cuz we needed the $ then I wouldnt feel guilty, so I haveto be thankful to Hashem that I have the leisure of working because I WANT to and not because I HAVETO"

amother

Wed, Jan 19 2005, 4:27 pm

Quote:

I haveto be thankful to Hashem that I have the leisure of working because I WANT to and not because I HAVETO"

I don't get it. How does working when you don't have to, make you feel less guilty for not being there for your children?

Rivka

Wed, Jan 19 2005, 4:41 pm

If your children are all in school why shouldn't you work sometimes, doesn't mean you won't be at home when they are.

hadasa

Wed, Jan 19 2005, 5:03 pm

Being on Shlichus, my situation is rather different. I'm certainly not working for the money (which I never see), but since by nature I tend to waste time, it's a good thing I do work. When I have no choice but to get out of the house and go teach, at least I'm doing something. If I would stay at home, I would probably end up spending the whole day on the computer and reading, and never get anything done.

Tefila

Wed, Jan 19 2005, 5:07 pm

Quote:

but since by nature I tend to waste time, it's a good thing I do work

Nonething like honesty LOL

and

Quote:

If I would stay at home, I would probably end up spending the whole day on the computer and reading, and never get anything done

Even though I am on this site alot of the day I still get things done or atleast try to.... good job I have twins coz now I have an excuse when I don't Wink

Last edited by Tefila on Wed, Jan 19 2005, 5:21 pm; edited 1 time in total

AweSumThenSum

Wed, Jan 19 2005, 5:08 pm

that was the source of my guilt in the beginning. that I was being selfish by working (I work cuz I want to keep my brain alive) and my kids were losing out. but by looking at it from a different persepctive, my guilt was eased. I mean, if I HADTO work then I guilt wouldnt be an issue, right? well, I figured I better be thankful for work being my choice, as opposed to a necessity.

Motek

Sun, Apr 03 2005, 6:58 pm

From a letter to Mishpacha magazine –

Quote:

It’s true that we cannot and should not judge another person, since we don’t know all the factors involved in another person’s decisions. However, that being said, the decision to stay home or work full time is not just a matter of our preferences. Children need their mothers. Period. If one needs to work because of a difficult financial situation, then there is no choice. But if there is a choice, I believe that it’s selfish to work full time just because you’re bored or don’t “like” being around your children all day.

I hold a B.A. from an Ivy League university and an M.A. in Family Therapy, and I stay home full time with my young children. It’s true that sometimes I’m bored, and that it would be a lot more comfortable for me to put on a suit every morning and go into an office. But I’m not going to abandon my children. Having children demands of us that we work on our middos. When we bring children into this world, we have a responsibility to put their needs above our preferences.

It might seem easier now to choose to work because you don’t enjoy being at home. However, there’s a serious risk that your children will suffer from your absence and will be left with emotional scars that will last them a lifetime. The children of Am Yisrael are precious; they are our future.

We must all ask before we decide to work: is it worth it?

Sara Debbie

1stimer

Mon, Apr 04 2005, 4:20 am

Quote:

Children need their mothers. Period. If one needs to work because of a difficult financial situation, then there is no choice. But if there is a choice, I believe that it’s selfish to work full time just because you’re bored or don’t “like” being around your children all day.

That letter really really bothered me (consider yourself warned Wink

) Yes, of course children need their mothers but children need to know that their mothers enjoy them and want to be with them. If a woman knows herself, and knows that being home with kids 24/7 is too much for her, I.e. she will end up resenting being home all day, or she won't have patience for her kids, of couse it is better for her to go out for however long she needs, and when she comes back she is excited and happy to be with her kids. All letters like this are achieving is that they make mothers feel guilty.

Every mother should honestly evaluate her strengths and her situation and should decide based on what is best for her family. Nobody has the right to make blanket rules in such matters.

Pearl

Mon, Apr 04 2005, 5:23 am

Quote:

freilich wrote:

But would these volunteer organizations atchually pay babysitting and travel expenses???????

if I could afford to work only tsdaka, then above question wouldn't be an issue, would it?!

Quote:

But I’m not going to abandon my children. Having children demands of us that we work on our middos. When we bring children into this world, we have a responsibility to put their needs above our preferences.

It might seem easier now to choose to work because you don’t enjoy being at home. However, there’s a serious risk that your children will suffer from your absence and will be left with emotional scars that will last them a lifetime. The children of Am Yisrael are precious; they are our future.

We must all ask before we decide to work: is it worth it?

Sara Debbie

Motek, what's your point on posting this? I find it extremely judgemental. the decission for a mother to work or not work outside of the house is an extremely personal one, and I for one do not appreciate the insinuation that working Jewish moms don't hold the best interest of their children at heart....

curlyhead

Mon, Apr 04 2005, 6:57 am

that letter is refering to someone who works full time. Most mothers I know with young children do not work fulltime.
I agree with 1stimer some pple need to just get out of teh house and have a break and that is why I work. I accomplish just as much in the hose the days I work because the work and seeing people gives me energy to deal with my kids, husband and house.
Working a few hours a week I feel like my son only gains. I come home and I am better to deal with him.

Pearl

Mon, Apr 04 2005, 7:00 am

I know it's about mothers working full time, but I still find it intolerant and judgemental. and no, not only because I work full time, I would feel that way also if I would be sahm. went through all the different scenario's with my children.....

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