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5 Things I've learned in the 6 months of marriage
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Shendellah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 9:32 am
Feel free to post ~5 things you've learned in the (however long) you have been married!~

I thought of these as I was doing the dishes last night! (no particular order)

1. Two hours of dishes on Motzei Shabbos and preparing for Shabbos meals starting on Sunday is all worth it when I see the smile on my DH's face when he's sees the Shabbos table set of my hard work!

2. I never knew how meaningfull an "I love you" could be! It makes any bad day to a great one!

3. Time is life! It's nice to have a day with no plans and just spend time with DH!

4. Mikvah night never goes as planned but in the end it is well worth it! Hashem has truely tested my commitment to this mitzvah but I wouldnt have it any other way. All the effort makes it that much better!

5. Brillo pads are awesome!!! (This is actually what made me to think of all of this hehe)
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DefyGravity




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 9:39 am
1. Always tell DH thank you for whatever he does around the house

2. If you're angry at DH, just down a shot and whatever he did won't seem nearly so bad. It may even become funny.

3. While guys may be immune to most gross behaviors, NEVER EVER EVER go into detail about your period.

4. If you want something done, just ask. Don't get angry at DH for not reading your mind.

5. Sunday football was invented so husbands will be distracted and not notice all the things we manage to buy while they stare glassy eyed at stupid men fighting over a deformed ball.
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Shendellah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 9:45 am
DefyGravity~ LOVE IT!!!!

There's a lot that I can learn from you Wink


I will definitely try the shot thing! And I already have made the mistake of talking to DH about my period...never again!!!!
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cinnamon




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 9:56 am
5 Things I've learned in three years of marriage:

1. oposites attracts but you have to work real hard to keep them together
2. there is nothing more peaceful then a quite house after the kids are asleep
3. If you want to survive you have to ask for help (from dh, mom, mil and whoever else is willing to give it)
4. always have extra food in the freezer and make more food then you think will be eaten
5. stughing all the mess into a closet/under the bed to make the house look neat is fine if done once in a while but if you do it all the time well... just take my advice and don't.
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superjew




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 10:00 am
haha defy gravity... too true. LOL

1. Compromise and Communication is key. No matter how much we have to bend...its all worth it.

2. Love is endless

3. Men ARE emotional!

4. Do not expect them to read your mind!! (I agree with defygravity on this one)

5. Love , if true, is AMAZING! It is so strong that it can get you through EVERYTHING, no matter what.
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Hodu Lashem




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 10:01 am
1. When arguing, it helps to really listen to what dh has to say - and not just wait until he's finished, so that you can say your point, because...pssst! Sometimes dh can actually be right!

2. Finding the humor in a tense situation, can make a huge difference.

3. If you get annoyed, upset, aggravated, frustrated due to complications with going to the mikva, don't worry. It has happened to all of us at one time or another and Gam Zeh Yaavor! Really! It does!

4. Be careful with bleach!

5. Suppers don't have to be gourmet. Try the easiest recipes and as long as it taste good, dh will love it and think you're amazing!
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Ronit




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 10:11 am
1. You wanna talk to a guy- Serve him a good meal. (He doesn't need the candles & music- JUST A GOOD STEAK)

2. Don't tell dh how bad the kids are behaving- He'll only come home later. Instead tell him -you can't wait to see him & line the kids up by the door.

3. Replace defy gravity's shot suggestion w/ cake. It works - I promise. embarrassed

4. Men are men & women are women. In times that women need a hug (down or stressed) Men need sss ppp aaa ccc eee

5. Marriage means children on the horizon. Hey don't say I didn't warn you that your couch won't stay clean forever.
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Lady Godiva




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 10:20 am
1. Like DG, I turn to the bottle, except it's red wine for me, to help me relax. Drunken Smile

2. Don't ever wax/tweeze/depilate in front of your husband. Let him think you are naturally perfect.

3. If your husbsnd works all day, make sure to have dinner ready for him when he gets home. Anything--even wraps or omelettes if you have no time.

4. A clean house makes a woman feel good.

5. Your bedroom should be a place you want to enter. Buy nice linen and good pillows and make the bed every day.
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Shendellah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 11:03 am
YAY!!! I'm soo happy that I started this thread!!!! I have soo much more to learn in the years to come!!!!
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 11:11 am
1. Never, ever criticize. Make requests. ("I have a request for you. Would you please come home every night by dinnertime?" often works, where, "You're always late and that's so frustrating for the rest of us" doesn't.)

2. Don't be afraid to ask more than once and in different ways if you weren't heard the first time. You are responsible for being sure that you get heard and responded to.

3. Model what matters to you. (I learned the request thing from DH, and I am trying to help him understand the ways that he can help me feel appreciated and valued by doing it for him.)

4. Make time together a priority. It is very easy to forget.

5. S.E.W. (Sleep, Exercise, and Water). Getting enough of all of the above helps you maintain equilibrium and enjoy the good times.
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Shoko




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 11:19 am
I wanted these to be funnier, but I like them nonetheless:

1. DH ALWAYS means well, even if he can't do it exactly the way I can, and sometimes his way might even be better (but don't tell him I said that...)

2. We thought we loved each other a lot on our wedding day. Now I realize that was tiny compared to the amount we love each other now.

3. Taking a walk together when we're angry at each other keeps us from saying things we might regret because other people might hear. We're forced to talk to each other civilly.

4. I need to take care of myself--I can't depend on DH to know when I need to relax/exercise/talk on the phone, etc.

5. Only tell your friends and family so much about your marriage/marital problems. In the end, DH and I are in this together and together we can solve any problem. My safta has a yiddish saying for this, which I'm going to butcher if I try to write it out, but it is something like, "when two sleep on a pillow, a third doesn't interfere."

6. Your bashert isn't necessarily the "perfect" person for you (whatever that means) but rather the person you most want to go through life with.
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btMOMtoFFBs




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 11:20 am
Five things I've learned in 9 years of Marriage

1. It's basically never worth it to start a fight. Think about the problem a little (or a lot) longer to think of a productive way to discuss the problem with your DH.

2. Shalom Bayis is worth more than anything you want to disagree over... spending, housework, whatever. Just be nice to each other.

3. Be your husband's girlfriend. Don't forget to be s-xy and flirtatious with even, in between working, cooking, cleaning the bathrooms and changing diapers and all the other exciting stuff you have going on in your life.

4. Learn to say YES. It's so easy to say no to someone's request. It takes love to say YES even when you don't feel like it. You can relate to this if you have ever done something you didn't want to with one of your children. Just do it because you love the other person.

5. Carve out time for yourself each day or and each week. Give yourself some time to chill. You'll be a better wife if you're not a shmatta from all your work and household obligations.
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Lady Godiva




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 11:25 am
btMOMtoFFBs wrote:


3. Be your husband's girlfriend. Don't forget to be s-xy and flirtatious with even, in between working, cooking, cleaning the bathrooms and changing diapers and all the other exciting stuff you have going on in your life.


5. Carve out time for yourself each day or and each week. Give yourself some time to chill. You'll be a better wife if you're not a shmatta from all your work and household obligations.


Excellent advice.
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Shendellah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 12:20 pm
Shoko wrote:
I wanted these to be funnier, but I like them nonetheless:


Some of these are funny! All of these are good advice!!!!! Very Happy
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racheleezzy




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 12:36 pm
when your upset with him and youre waiting for him to apologize... tell him youre upset because they dont get it half the time. Just because youre sitting and sulking does not mean he has any clue what youre upset about.

always think of what would make him happy.... a nice dinner.. a clean house.... a sweet text message :wink: because the more you want to please him and make him happy, he will want to make you happy.

when you are mad at him think of the good things he does and slowly slowly you will find yourself thinking a little more rationally.
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geemum




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 1:01 pm
Shendellah what a great thread...............Funny and so helpful at the same time.

1. Not everything is DH's fault (sometime's it's mine) (although who's fault it is shoudln't be the most important issue, but rather 'what to do now?')
2. Kids are kids! Don't expect more from them.
3. Sleep is often the solution to most problems. (I like the S.E.W. anagram above
Thumbs Up )
4. Chesed starts at home ( incl. Remember to visit parents, in laws and grandparents)
5. Mezuzohs need to be checked once in seven years (I didn't know that before I got married)
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racheleezzy




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 1:10 pm
I also forgot to add that just try to remember when your annoyed with your in laws that they are dh's parents and they raised him and ijust like your family and siblings is important to you his family is important to him! always try and be fair! unless for some reason or whatever you have no relationship with them at all.. im just talkin about minor annoyances here adn there
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TWINNY




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 1:16 pm
Wow!!!
I also got married 6 months ago, and some of these are real eye openers!!!
Some of the things I learned

Dress well and look good at home. I had no idea that DH will have a real taste in my clothes.

When he talks, just listen. He's not always interested in advice or solutions; he just wants u to hear him out.

Don't complain too much about your MIL- she's HIS MOTHER, and helped him become what he is now.
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MOMMYRN




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 1:16 pm
superjew wrote:
haha defy gravity... too true. LOL

1. Compromise and Communication is key. No matter how much we have to bend...its all worth it.

2. Love is endless

3. Men ARE emotional!

4. Do not expect them to read your mind!! (I agree with defygravity on this one)

5. Love , if true, is AMAZING! It is so strong that it can get you through EVERYTHING, no matter what.


absolutely!! I agree totally Thumbs Up
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geemum




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 1:46 pm
TWINNY wrote:
Wow!!!
I also got married 6 months ago, and some of these are real eye openers!!!
Some of the things I learned

Dress well and look good at home. I had no idea that DH will have a real taste in my clothes.

When he talks, just listen. He's not always interested in advice or solutions; he just wants u to hear him out.

Don't complain too much about your MIL- she's HIS MOTHER, and helped him become what he is now.


Yes
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