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Dr says hair in son's face will cause him to be cross-eyed
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BinahYeteirah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 5:35 pm
My long-haired 21 month old son had a check up today. He usually doesn't mind when I do his hair, but today it was a no-go. The doctor commented that I should be "careful" because it can cause him to be cross-eyed.

shock

I didn't believe it even at the moment she said it, but is there any truth whatsoever to this theory? I googled a bit, but didn't find anything.

The same doctor seemed upset that my 4-year-old does not know her alphabet (we are only doing aleph-bais at this point).
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geemum




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 5:50 pm
My initial reactiong is 1) try to keep it away from his face and 2) if first option is not possible and you're really concerned speak to the Rov.

About the alphabet - if she hasn't been taught it, she shouldn't know it! I wouldn't be concerned.
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BinahYeteirah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 5:58 pm
My point was that I am not concerned. Should I be? The idea that hair in the face can cause strabismus sounds pretty far-fetched to me, but I wondered if anyone else had ever heard of such a thing. It sounds like one of those things my grandmother would say, like "If you let that baby sleep wrong on his ear, honey, he will have ugly ears for the rest of his life," or the like.

Maybe the doctor is right, but I didn't find anything in a superficial search of the Internet.
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geemum




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 6:08 pm
Never heard of it (my dr never commented with either of my boys, and we were there a lot! so dr had plenty of opportunities)
I have heard of hair in eyes causing infections/styes
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louche




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 9:25 pm
That's probably not the most ridiculous thing I ever heard, but it comes close. You sure the dr. wasn't making a straight-faced joke?
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 9:29 pm
My grandmother always says something like that. She gets very upset if she sees a child with hair in his eyes. Why don't you just put a clip in his hair?
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BinahYeteirah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 9:30 pm
Thank you.

You'd think that if all it took to cause kids to become cross-eyed CV"S was some hair in the face there would be all kinds of PSAs about cutting your kid's bangs and such. Really.

Now I am wondering if I should go back to this woman. Another of my kids has a appointment there later this week. If she believes that...

Nonetheless, I'm still holding out hope that someone has heard of this and that the doctor is not really crazy.
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BinahYeteirah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 9:32 pm
ra_mom wrote:
Why don't you just put a clip in his hair?


Well, if he'd let me, it wouldn't be a problem. Usually he doesn't mind, but he has days when he just can't bear for me to mess with his hair. Until I heard this, I never dreamed that it was one of the battles I should fight.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 9:34 pm
BinahYeteirah wrote:
ra_mom wrote:
Why don't you just put a clip in his hair?


Well, if he'd let me, it wouldn't be a problem. Usually he doesn't mind, but he has days when he just can't bear for me to mess with his hair. Until I heard this, I never dreamed that it was one of the battles I should fight.

I totally hear you. It's worthless to try to fight with a toddler about this Sad
Some people are okay with cutting bangs before the Upsherin, because of the hair in the eye issue.
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louche




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 9:40 pm
ra_mom wrote:
My grandmother always says something like that. She gets very upset if she sees a child with hair in his eyes.


so do I. It makes the kid look slovenly and neglected, no matter what his age.
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louche




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 9:41 pm
ra_mom wrote:
My grandmother always says something like that. She gets very upset if she sees a child with hair in his eyes.


so do I. It makes the kid look slovenly and neglected, no matter what his age.
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 10:23 pm
My ds has a lazy eye, which comes from genetics and not from hair in his eyes. However, people say that hair in his eyes could make it worse. The eye doc didn't say anything though. I figure it can't hurt to keep it out of his face, and if it's too hard, we would ask a Shaila about cutting his bangs.
As far as knowing the alphabet goes, my sister was once evaluated when she was around four and they wanted to label her mentally [crazy] because she didn't know who Bart Simpson was. They didn't believe my mother when she told them that Bart has never made an appearance in our house. Of course kids won't recognise things that they haven't been exposed to on a regular basis. No reason to worry about that.
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chavamom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 10:46 pm
louche wrote:
That's probably not the most ridiculous thing I ever heard, but it comes close. You sure the dr. wasn't making a straight-faced joke?


That.
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queen




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 16 2009, 11:33 pm
My mother just told me the same thing about keeping hair out of DC's face.... and I questioned her on it saying- come on, that's a good old tale.

She explained it, and it makes a lot of sense:
A child who has one eye constantly covered learns/adapts to seeing only out of one eye. = only one eye is functioning. This can lead to weakened muscles, which then leads to eye turning in.

After hearing this I am making an effort to pull her bangs back.
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chavamom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 12:19 am
Yeah, but think about it this way. When you have a kid who they are *trying* to strengthen a lazy eye - it has to be covered completely and for all waking hours. I don't think "hair in your eyes" is going to cut it. It's very hard to get it to work even when they are using an eye patch!
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 9:17 am
BinahYeteirah wrote:

The same doctor seemed upset that my 4-year-old does not know her alphabet (we are only doing aleph-bais at this point).

just out of curiosity - is this some sort of minhag or something?
I am an FFB, gre up in NY where there are all types, and except in chassidish circles where the kids speak yiddish only until they learn english at school, I have never ever heard of parents not teaching a 4 year old the ABCs. in israel yes, in america no. is this a shita, like the people on imamother who dont let their kids see animals that we cant eat (not mocking, just had never ever heard of that either til imamother)
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BinahYeteirah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 10:33 am
Regarding the alphabet, I have a couple reasons for doing only aleph-bais at this age. One is that it can be confusing for children to learn two alphabets at once. I prefer to teach aleph-bais first, and wait until my kids are pretty well established in kriyah before introducing English. My oldest did not know a single letter of the English (Latin) alphabet when she was five years old, but she taught herself to read (using, in part, a computer program) within 2-3 months when she was about five and a half. So she went from knowing nothing, other than the oral language, to knowing all the letters and sounds to reading first grade level books on her own without any help from me. I don't point this out to brag, but to show that she didn't lose anything with this method. Having already mastered reading in one language, I knew she had all the skills to proceed with the next and it all fell into place with little effort.

Second, I prefer to emphasize lashon hakodesh for hashkafic reasons. I am a homeschooler and we do very limited formal chol until at least few years into elementary school. I want them always to know that the kodesh is the ikar, the chol is just something we do to help us get along in the world and as a tool to further ruchnius.

Edited to add: The L. Rebbe stated that kids should preferably not do any chol until age 9 or later. I do not claim to follow this perfectly, but I try to keep in the spirit of chinuch al taharas hakodesh.


Last edited by BinahYeteirah on Tue, Nov 17 2009, 10:41 am; edited 1 time in total
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 10:37 am
as a person who has a lazy eye amongst other eye issues - I've had trouble with hair in my face ... my eyes are extremely sensitive to even my eyelashes - the edges of my eyeglasses - the edges of contact lenses and bangs on my forehead ...

so in general I don't think it an issue ... but for someone with sensitive eye conditions it can very well be true ...
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 10:53 am
BinahYeteirah wrote:
Regarding the alphabet, I have a couple reasons for doing only aleph-bais at this age. One is that it can be confusing for children to learn two alphabets at once. I prefer to teach aleph-bais first, and wait until my kids are pretty well established in kriyah before introducing English. My oldest did not know a single letter of the English (Latin) alphabet when she was five years old, but she taught herself to read (using, in part, a computer program) within 2-3 months when she was about five and a half. So she went from knowing nothing, other than the oral language, to knowing all the letters and sounds to reading first grade level books on her own without any help from me. I don't point this out to brag, but to show that she didn't lose anything with this method. Having already mastered reading in one language, I knew she had all the skills to proceed with the next and it all fell into place with little effort.

Second, I prefer to emphasize lashon hakodesh for hashkafic reasons. I am a homeschooler and we do very limited formal chol until at least few years into elementary school. I want them always to know that the kodesh is the ikar, the chol is just something we do to help us get along in the world and as a tool to further ruchnius.

Edited to add: The L. Rebbe stated that kids should preferably not do any chol until age 9 or later. I do not claim to follow this perfectly, but I try to keep in the spirit of chinuch al taharas hakodesh.


thanks for your explanation. I honestly had never heard of anything like this.
maybe I should start a new thread about my curiosity - but like, Is this a lubavich thing (apparently the thing I found out about "no books or clothes or anything that has any animals that arent kosher" is a lubavich thing) or is this just a general thing I had never heard of. I understand the concept...just my kids learned both at the same time and speak both hebrew and english fluently (and yiddish too), it never was a problem learning two alphabets?
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BinahYeteirah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 17 2009, 11:15 am
Plenty of Lubavitch schools teach both at the same time and teach a significant amount of chol though the years. Some don't teach English/chol at. Then there are all kinds of variations in between those (like mostly kodesh all day, but with one hour of chol at the end of the day or optional chol classes for the parents who want them, or alternative schools that have the kodesh and chol taught together all day in an interdisciplinary way).

I can't imagine Chabad is the only community that does this. My husband used to teach English for a school in Williamsburg. It was in a separate building from the main school and was only for an hour or so at the end of the day.
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