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Is this normal?



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myfriends715




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 28 2009, 9:57 pm
I figured I would ask here since all of u are my baby resources. as you know I have twins my dd is really pretty calm and managable, tantrums are small and far and few between, shes pretty verbal and is quite easy to control... AND THEN THEIRS DS... he doesnt listen to anything we say, but thats to be xpected of a 2 yr old. the biggest problem is he has massive temper tantrums that are hard to control and sometimes come out of nowhere.. I may want to add that he is not as verbal as his sis and therefore has a harder time expressing himself. but these tantrums can last a really long time and its not just crying its shrieking and so angry/emotional that he is actually shaking sometimes.. lately, I think in order to intensify his screams, he either scratches, pinches or bites himself (only mid tantrum) I should add that he is also loving and very huggy. my dh is worried that there is s/t wrong w him, I think hes just a difficult 2 yr old.. but its hard cuz we're comparing him (I know ur not supposed to compare) to our dd....
so what do u think?
any advice?
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myfriends715




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 29 2009, 7:42 pm
bump
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chaylizi




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 29 2009, 7:46 pm
is he verbal at all?

dd#2 was having a harder time verbalizing. She would throw tantrums & hurt her siblings. I learned to get there as soon as she looked like temper was being lost. I would hold her hands gently & tell her that she needed to use her words & not hurt people. Then I would try & help her verbalize what she wanted to say, from what I had seen of the situation (before it got out of hand). She actually is much calmer now & is so very verbal that I consider her progress no less than astonishing.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Nov 29 2009, 7:51 pm
I could have written your post about my twins lol!
Can you ask DD what's wrong with DS when he's having a tantrum.
Ask her what you should do.
You would be surprised how well twins know each other even at a young age.
For 1 week make a list of tantrums that DS had.
Then after the week look through the list and find what the triggers are:
for example, are the tantrums often at certain times? before meals? before bed time? during transitions?
Are the tantrums when he's tired? hot? cold? uncomfortable?
Is he frustrated around certain people? Ex. more tantrums with you or DH or Dd etc.

then you many be able to try to prevent some of the tantrums if you start to see a pattern.
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Mommy F.




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 29 2009, 8:02 pm
You have to get this book, it's so good!
It's called "The Explosive Child"
By Ross W. Greene, Ph.D.

http://www.amazon.com/Explosiv.....r=8-1
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myfriends715




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 29 2009, 8:03 pm
amother wrote:
I could have written your post about my twins lol!
Can you ask DD what's wrong with DS when he's having a tantrum.
Ask her what you should do.
You would be surprised how well twins know each other even at a young age.
For 1 week make a list of tantrums that DS had.
Then after the week look through the list and find what the triggers are:
for example, are the tantrums often at certain times? before meals? before bed time? during transitions?
Are the tantrums when he's tired? hot? cold? uncomfortable?
Is he frustrated around certain people? Ex. more tantrums with you or DH or Dd etc.

then you many be able to try to prevent some of the tantrums if you start to see a pattern.


thanx. I usually know whats bothering him but its usually something so small (like he wants a specific object like a broom, cell phone etc) I can usually understand why he is acting nuts and try to explain to him what he wants but his is shrieking too loudly to even hear me Sad. He likes to get his way, he likes to be in control and he gets easily frustrated and when he does get the ear plugs... when hes mad he wants to hit or bite but he cant always do that to someoen so he started scraching or biting himself mid tantrum.. its insane.

he is only like this w me and dh w our babysitter he is pretty close to angelic, at least most of the time.

I just wanna make sure that there is noting seriously wrong w him
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Mommy F.




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 29 2009, 8:07 pm
Is it possible to try to keep cell phones, or brooms away from him so that he's not tempted to play with them?
Maybe buy him a toy cell phone or a toy broom that he can play with?
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myfriends715




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 29 2009, 8:15 pm
Mommy F. wrote:
Is it possible to try to keep cell phones, or brooms away from him so that he's not tempted to play with them?
Maybe buy him a toy cell phone or a toy broom that he can play with?


he not only has toy cell phones and brooms but he has a real broom (they have 2 1 for each twin) and abt 6 various toy cell phones.. its anything he wants but cant have.. like we went to the grocery today and he wanted to pull e/t off the shelves and since he wasnt allowed to he threw a fit
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Happy Mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 29 2009, 9:31 pm
myfriends715 wrote:
he doesnt listen to anything we say, but thats to be xpected of a 2 yr old.


I don't think it's to be expected just because he's two. It's more that he's learned something about what your limits and expectations are.

myfriends715 wrote:
he is only like this w me and dh w our babysitter he is pretty close to angelic, at least most of the time.

I just wanna make sure that there is noting seriously wrong w him


I don't think there's anything seriously wrong with him, or he'd be exhibiting this behavior everywhere. Why is he acting this way with just you and your husband, and not with other people, even a babysitter whom he presumably spends a lot of time with? Chances are because he gets a different response from you.

It's pretty common for kids who are trying to figure out where the boundaries from their parents are to push and push, to find out when you're going to show them you won't accept certain behavior. Fortunately, once you realize that's what's going on, it is relatively simple to remedy. (I shared recently about my approach to this on my blog, if you want specifics.)
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Nicole




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2009, 8:52 am
I think he's fine! Very Happy Ds was like that for a long long while. Now he's starting to get a little better as he's talking more. But it's scary to see your child hurting himself.
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