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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
How long do I wait



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MOMMYRN




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 05 2009, 12:46 pm
I may have an idea for a shidduch for someone but he is unfortunately sitting shiva right now. how long do I wait before retting the shidduch?
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 05 2009, 12:47 pm
if it was his wife that died - you better way a lot longer than a week shock
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MOMMYRN




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 05 2009, 12:53 pm
I'm so sorry I should have specified that he is sitting for his mother.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 05 2009, 12:55 pm
maybe after shloshim are up ...
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MOMMYRN




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 05 2009, 1:04 pm
that's what I was thinking. I just wasn't sure if I should wait less b/c he's an older single.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 05 2009, 1:08 pm
not sure if there are halochos regarding same ...

maybe you'll get more answers ...
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Fabulous




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 05 2009, 1:20 pm
I would wait a few weeks as well. Maybe not specifically till shloshim though. It might also make a difference if his mother was very into seeing him married off. He might see it as a sign to meet this girl and be ready earlier. At least a week or two after shiva though.
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queen




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 05 2009, 8:01 pm
If he's an older single, don't overly wait. Is there a close friend of his (or the family) that has a better handle on him that could give you an answer pertaining to this specific boy?

If you wait a couple weeks, but it's still before shloshim, you could always say to him- "I have a lovely girl whom I think would make a wonderful wife for you, let me know when you are ready to hear more details. She has agreed to meet you (assuming that is the case) but is waiting until you are ready due to the current situation, understandably.
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ShakleeMom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 05 2009, 8:34 pm
queen wrote:
If you wait a couple weeks, but it's still before shloshim, you could always say to him- "I have a lovely girl whom I think would make a wonderful wife for you, let me know when you are ready to hear more details. She has agreed to meet you (assuming that is the case) but is waiting until you are ready due to the current situation, understandably.


But wait until after 30 days, I think that's halacha but not sure.
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sarahd




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 06 2009, 6:00 am
Be prepared for him to say that he needs a bit more time before starting again with shidduchim and don't push him too much for the first couple of months.
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