10 yr old daughter's rm a disaster

Tila

Tue, Jan 20 2009, 3:12 pm

Is hording genetic????? I proceeded to clean dd closet,when I pulled out a knapsac that appears to be full. I opened it up. I found the weirdest things that only dd can encode. Not to mention chocolate (oi vey pesach here we come). I asked her about this but she was embarassed and worried. There is soooooooooooomuch more. I gave up. Anyone else have a similar situation? Ever clean and throw away without your kids permission??

freidasima

Tue, Jan 20 2009, 3:29 pm

Just to make you feel better, I could change the title of your post and call it almost 25 year old daughter's rm a disaster....same I hear goes for the 28 year old married with baby but I don't go into her bedroom...however my mil did when she was staying there and I hear it's a horror...because the dog sleeps on the beds with them...and the stuff never gets thrown out...and how about my 22 year old's room? She has piles and piles, of who knows what, I think that when she cuts off the tags from clothes she just saves them on her desk along with the little plastic thingamajiggy's that they are stuck on...not to speak of candy wrappers (how come she eats candy and stays a size 4? Because she doesn't have time to eat anything else, I don't want to see her cholesterol and triglyceride levels...)

The boys - they are different. They are neat. Maybe they learned it in the army. But they also have less stuff and are organized.

Girls? Fuggedit.

amother

Tue, Jan 20 2009, 3:52 pm

Why don't you try making it exciting for her buy buying nice baskets/containers to organize her things. Maybe decorate the room a little bit when it's all organized?

Do it with her. It is too overwhelming for her to do it on her own (and definitely boring. I remember wishing as a young girl that my mother was working alongside me) and there is no reason for you to do it for a 10 yr old. Use this as an opportunity to bond with your daughter.

AlwaysGrateful

Tue, Jan 20 2009, 4:39 pm

I was that kid. And my home still isn't the neatest in the world. But please, please don't "clean" without her knowledge. Either do it together with her (yes, bonding time), or give her some incentive to do it herself.

For example, tell her that you really want to get her new clothes, but her closet is too messy. Or that you really want to let her do X, but she has to prove to you that she's responsible enough to organize everything herself. Please, please don't label her. She is not "a mess" or "a disorganized wreck." She is a child who doesn't see the importance of taking her time to clean things up. A child who doens't have a problem with a messy room and doesn't understand why you do.

Or, if you really think you have to get "mean," tell her that she has one week to clean out her closet, one week to clean out under her bed, one week to clean out....And each week, if anything isn't clean, you will go through it yourself as you see fit. Not as a threat - but as I "I don't know what else to do - I know that you can clean it yourself, I know that you don't want me to clean it because I might throw out things that you want, but it has to be clean. It's your choice - if you have any other ideas, let me know."

Just the opinion of a "kid" who's been there, who aboslutely hated when her mother "cleaned" for her...It idn't teach me how to keep things neat myself, and it just made me get really upset at my mother for messing up my room.

Tefila

Tue, Jan 20 2009, 6:49 pm

My 4 yr old and 13 yr old boys room is classified as a pirates wreck because that is exactly what it looks like with their odd treasures strewn around. I don't believe in throwing stuff out that is theirs however I do encourage thenm to go thru what they need or don't need, so they can chuck it thmeselves.
Whereas my dd room looks like it walked out of a catalogue Smile

ShakleeMom

Tue, Jan 20 2009, 9:07 pm

There are two kinds of hoarders. Gene A -horde everything you can and stuff it wherever you can and never know what you ever horded. Gene B – horde everything you can and stuff it wherever you can and always know what you saved and where you put it and always find it for just that right moment. For Gene A, make sure to periodically make a cleaning, they’ll never know. Gene B – make sure you periodically ask them to organize, or by tomorrow this time YOU WILL. Those are your two options.

Tila

Tue, Jan 27 2009, 1:57 pm

You are all so inspiring!! She is a Gene B. All her stuff is classified tho!! My husband is worse!! I dunno if she inheridited from him. I am not neat. I am organized, and willing to toss things. I would toss stuff from our house that has no life to it and my dh would retrieve it from the trash and hide it!! He leaves after the garbage is picked up!! I started to clean for pesach, and so proud of myself!

raizy

Tue, Feb 03 2009, 11:40 pm

yep my dd is the same I make her clean her room at least once a week.. she has leftover food. stuff. papeirs clothing. old laundry.... its a wreck... if it gets too messy I tell her she cant go to school if she doesnt clean up her mess. it works every time...

she then gets rid of all the garbage and gets rid of all her laundry...

lol she is only 8 yrs old.

FranticFrummie

Thu, May 21 2009, 3:43 am

ShakleeMom wrote:

That is a BRILLIANT observation. I'm a Gene B. My at home office is a mess, but I can function in it quite well - it just looks bad to people who don't know my system! LOL

My 5 year old, on the other hand, I think she's a Gene A, and then she gets too overwhelmed. While she's at school I'll go through and clean up all of the trash, and start putting books back up on the shelves. When she comes home from school we finish it up together.

I've taught her the importance of keeping clear walkways in our tiny apartment. There's one easy rule in our house. If I ask you to pick it up, you'd better do it. If I step on it, it goes in the donation pile (or in the garbage, whichever is appropriate).