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Making Bas Mitzvah for Daughter



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amother


 

Post Wed, Jun 03 2009, 3:06 pm
My oldest dd will be bas mitzvah during the summer. I have been asking around town what people do here. Usually there is a party with some sort of art project. However, most of the girls are in camp all summer. I'd rather not make it before they leave for camp...it is way before her actual birthday and I am also expecting toward the end of the school year. (It would end up being a big rush job at this point with a mother with little energy, which is not fair to my dd. If it was her actual b-day then, I'd do it, but it's not.) I was considering making her a party when the camps are over, but this will be way after her bas mitzvah.

What is appropriate for a bas mitzvah celebration? I want to do something special for her on that day. (Truthfully, I don't think dd would care about the whole art project thing with her entire class! She has a few friends who will be here during the summer. However, she's the oldest in the class, so I don't want her to feel bad later on!)

What its usually done for a Bas Mitzvah? Our families are not frum, so they are used to girls doing a whole lot of things we are obviously not going to do! I want the day to be meaningful and special for my dd and our family.
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mummy-bh




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 03 2009, 5:24 pm
My oldest dd is also the oldest in the class, so we basically had a clean slate and could choose what we wanted to do as there were no precedents.

We made an evening seuda with all her (5!) classmates as guests, decorated the table nicely and served a 3 course meal. The activity was challa shaping, I'd made a batch of dough earlier in the day and my dd took challa and then I demonstrated to all the girls how to make a six stranded challa, then they all made their own. They baked during the meal so they could all take them home and I put the challas on a fancy plate with other shabbos themed items. (My daughter was born half an hour before shabbos)

My second daughter's birthday falls towards the end of the summer. As school starts only a week or so after her birthday, I will probably make a family seuda on her actual bas mitzva, and the class party a week or two later.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 03 2009, 5:30 pm
why don't you make a family party for relatives on the day of the bas mitzva, and a party for friends later?
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jun 03 2009, 5:34 pm
My DD's Bas Mitvah is during the 3 weeks but I am making it this week, this way her whole class will be around. Summer kids feel like they are shortchanged as they never have any in school parties either. You could even make the class party after Sukkos- and believe me, no one will care when you do it and shell be happy to have her whole class if this is what you want.
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Merrymom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 04 2009, 12:09 pm
I think a bas mitzvah should be celebrated a bit more than a boring birthday party. My daughter was bas mitzvah in March and we don't plan on making the actual party until September. Girls don't care about the date, just that it's alot of fun. If you plan something too boring and then all her classmates have really nice parties after her then she'll feel bad. It doesn't have to be expensive here are some ideas:

1-Fancy, as in a hall, with dancing, catered food
2-Pajama party but the kids go home afterwards
3-Pool party
4-Barbecue with some form of entertainment. One girl had a cartoon artist come and the girls thought it was a blast.
5-Tzipporah Heller, the challah lady can come and she does a whole bas mitzvah program
6-Just dancing and nash ( a big shul is good for this). There are these fabulous girls called Sababa DJ that come and entertain the girls while they dance and win prizes. The girls didn't want to stop!

I'm sure I'll have some more suggestions soon as every week almost my daughter is at another bas mitzvah party.
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 04 2009, 12:10 pm
In my experience, less is always more. The same could probably be said for bar mitzvah celebrations, as well, but I wouldn't touch that topic with a ten-foot pole!

For my DDs, we supplied a small treat at school around the time of the bas mitzvah and hosted shalashudos for women on a convenient date. Most classmates were able to come to the shalashudos, and we also had lots of friends, neighbors, relatives, etc.

The crafts got old very quickly, and by the time of the last bas mitzvah in the class, many of the "non-crafty" girls were skipping the whole thing. The challah shaping sounds like fun, and a friend of mine hired a square dance caller/instructor to teach the girls square dancing, which they loved.

The real disasters, IMHO, can be described with the word "and." When you try to have a meal AND a craft AND games or activities AND speeches AND a sundae buffet . . . well, even the adults don't have such a long attention span.
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sunshine!




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 04 2009, 12:12 pm
I went to a cousin's Bas Mitzvah, where the activity was also Challah baking, and decorating glass vases, which were then filled with flowers and delivered by the girls to the local nursing home. They tried to focus on the spiritual aspect of the age as opposed to making a big birthday bash.
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cookielady




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 04 2009, 12:23 pm
We recently made a bas mitzvah for my dd. The girls had a great time. Now my dds party was shortly after a few girls made very elaborate parties. That is totally not my speed.

First of all, my dd didn't care too much about the food (a shock for me, is this my daughter?) She did want me to make nice desserts. I baked really amazing things (if I may say so).

Before the party, I ordered plain white cloth aprons. My older dd personalized them with puffy paint. The girls wore these, so they wouldn't get dirty with challa baking.

We started off with Challa baking, explaining about the mitzva and how this is the first time the bas mitzva girl could take challa. We had all sorts of topping, seeds, sprinkles etc they could put on their challas. I was afraid this would be a bit nerdy, but they had fun.

They then ate and my dd said a dvar torah.

After that they ate dessert. They then divided up into groups and with newspaper, each group had to design a tznius dress on one girl from the group, which they then modeled. The adults got involved in this too and all had a great time.

The last thing they did was candle making. We had pots of melted wax, different colors and each girl got a long piece of wick and dipped and dipped. The candles turned out great and the girls were very creative.

Each girls went home with fresh challa, a candle and plates of cakes and desserts that were not finished.

My dd had a great time as did her friends. It wasn't over done, it had substance and was enjoyable.
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MiamiMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 04 2009, 12:31 pm
sunshine! wrote:
I went to a cousin's Bas Mitzvah, where the activity was also Challah baking, and decorating glass vases, which were then filled with flowers and delivered by the girls to the local nursing home. They tried to focus on the spiritual aspect of the age as opposed to making a big birthday bash.


Thumbs Up Fabulous! This is what it's all about!
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amother


 

Post Thu, Jun 04 2009, 12:55 pm
OP here: Wow! All these suggestions are amazing! I want this to be meaningful for her and her friends, to show a great significance to the day, not just a birthday party. She was born during the 3 weeks, so is it OK to wait a bit after for the celebration with her friends, maybe late August when everyone is home from camp? We will do something nice for her on that day as family. I'd also like to do something with all our relatives, but I'm not sure what just yet.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 04 2009, 1:29 pm
since it is summer you could do something fun outdoors with her friends - how about a bonfire? bbq? picnic in the park?
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amother


 

Post Thu, Jun 04 2009, 1:46 pm
As I said above previously my dd's B-day is during the 3 weeks. Her Party is now, and some girls are doing it in the next week or 2 before the summer and the rest of the summer kids may even go after Sukkos!
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Seraph




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 04 2009, 1:57 pm
In my class, bat mitzvas almost all included supper and a project/activity. Two girls had it out of their home- one at a hall and there was an entertainer (balloon stuff/magician), and one had it at a paint your own ceramic dish/thing, let it be fired and pick it up another day.
We enjoyed the ones in people's houses more.

My bat mitzva project was food decorating. We had some books on the table for ideas, some demonstrations, and a whole bunch of fruits and veggies, knives, etc, out if which we made different things, like swans, palm trees, etc... I still LOVE food decorating.
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