Presents or no presents?

Akeres Habayis

Tue, Dec 01 2009, 2:19 am

Quote:

Zus wrote:
In EY, it's absolutely not done to give presents on chanuka. I was wondering who does it and who doesn't.

I think there are people who do - who have been influenced by Chanuka in chul, who in turn were influenced by Xmas.

shalhevet,has me "pegged".I'm lub live in EY,and I give my oldest who have traveled this amazing road w/me gifts although she is 22,but not stuyiot type things(she needs a husband to take this catering to her off me Wink

)

for the little ones,we wont give gifts everyday.my almost 3yr old's b'day is zos chanukah so she will get a big party w/lots of gifts(its not everyday your daughter turns 3 and lights candles for the first time).

we will do what bubby said when they r older and understand what "gelt"is.right now everyday we will give Torahdik gifts.books,cd's,shabbos clothes,pushka's(w/gelt to put in the pushka).

shalhevet,I have to say kol hakavod to u.u always seem to try and go the straight path of your hashkafa,and don't veer,to the left or right.that's admirable,and I hope to reach your level,in my hashkafa

mimivan

Tue, Dec 01 2009, 2:25 am

nope...
chocolate chanukah gelt, dreidels, candies, parties are not enough?!

I had a roomate who said "let's exchange Chanukah gifts." I was none too excited since it is 8 nights and I had no money...so I said, "Only if you won't get mad if I get you a gag gift."

So each night of Chanukah, I gave her a different sock (a clean, new one btw Wink

) and on the fifth night, she got the mate for the sock I gave the first night, the sixth night, the mate I gave her the second night and so on...
so she got four new pairs of socks....that's about as "gifty" as I get on Chanukah...

gryp

Tue, Dec 01 2009, 9:49 am

mimivan wrote:

LOL, mimivan, about the socks. Smile

bandcm

Tue, Dec 01 2009, 8:07 pm

Marion wrote:

Quote:

Each child then takes off a fifth for tzedoka

That's insane...I understand teaching taking ma'aser, but why 20%?

Quote:

chukas hagoy

I was thinking about this. And then I went to a shiur last week, and someone asked about wearing denim. The rav answered that there's nothing actually wrong with wearing denim, just some don't doing it because it has the "scent of the world" on it rather than something specifically Jewish. Someone else, of course, followed that up with the expected comment that the garb of the charedim (both litvish & chassidish) also has the "scent of the world", seeing as how it was adopted from the noblemen of Eastern Europe at the time. To this the rav answered that once it is adopted by Jews it becomes something Jewish and loses its "scent of the world".

I believe the same argument could be used for Chanukah gifts. There are enough Jews (good, kosher, halachic Jews) who have adopted gift-giving at Chanukah time that it is no longer "chukat hagoyim".

I think this was rather rude.
Our custom is to give chomesh rather than maaser. We like to educate our children to follow our customs. Trust me, they do not feel deprived (like they don't feel deprived at not being able to eat at the birthday parties.).

Isramom8

Wed, Dec 02 2009, 5:14 am

"I went to a shiur last week, and someone asked about wearing denim. The rav answered that there's nothing actually wrong with wearing denim, just some don't doing it because it has the "scent of the world" on it rather than something specifically Jewish. Someone else, of course, followed that up with the expected comment that the garb of the charedim (both litvish & chassidish) also has the "scent of the world", seeing as how it was adopted from the noblemen of Eastern Europe at the time. To this the rav answered that once it is adopted by Jews it becomes something Jewish and loses its "scent of the world".

I believe the same argument could be used for Chanukah gifts. There are enough Jews (good, kosher, halachic Jews) who have adopted gift-giving at Chanukah time that it is no longer "chukat hagoyim"."

A lot of Jews have adopted the cutom of wearing denim too.

Wed, Dec 02 2009, 10:06 am

We give gifts on one night only.

My family is Americanized and less observant, and my parents always gave us gifts for each night of Chanukah, after candlelighting. As an adult, I did not feel the need to continue this tradition. The presents definately took the focus away from the candles. And while giving gelt is a strong Jewish tradition, giving daily presents on Chanuka (at least in the US) is a post WWII phenomenon related to assimilation and commercialization. Dh's family is less-Americanized and he did not grow up with Chanuka gifts. So we have combined our traditions - we exchange gifts at our family Chanukah party, which is one of the few times a year when we can share Jewish holidays and traditions with our less-observant relatives.

SavtaHelen

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 11:37 pm

We all light candles together every night, sit on the couches and sing all of Maoz Tzur and then I give every child/grandchild a chanuka gift. Between my parents, sil and DS (rarely) it usually works out that there is a gift a night (especiallly since we don't give gifts on Erev Shabbat-too rushed for time)

They are mainly small practical gifts. Last year I made all the DIL and DD earrings and bracelets . I am a big book giver and because Tzomet Sefarim has 4 books for l00 shekels again, this is a good choice. I owuld love to buy the GC big toys but money is really tight now.

But the gifts add to the joy of Chanuka and keep everyone sitting around the chanukiyot a lot longer I alternate doughnuts and latkes every night as a treat for candlelighting.

I have gifts for the GC, one DIL and younger DD. I think the boys will get the books, and I need an idea for a 26 yo DD and a DIL....any suggestions??

(This year there is a one per person policy, and SIL was rather weak in her gifts as well...the financial crisis has taken its toll!) The GC will get several, books, a toy truck, crayons, toys from SIL, gelt from GGP...)

SavtaHelen

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 11:39 pm

forgot to add....DH gets home from work a LOT earlier on Chanuka and we usually try to get one board game for all of us. SO we have plenty of time to play with the new toys with the GC, and/or spend time playing a board game as a family, it is really a nice time for us

shiradye

Mon, Dec 07 2009, 2:37 am

I voted no, EY, right, where it's not done. After candlelighting, when the Mommy & girls cannot do melacha, we sing Maoz Tzur, and Abba hands out a piece of milk chocolate to everyone. That's it.
Growing up, we had a Chanukah party with gifts and that was a big deal. One more reason to be happy we live here! Wink

shiradye

Mon, Dec 07 2009, 12:50 pm

Quote:

Shiradye, a chocolate coin or a whole bar?

Thanks, Isramom, that's where the chocolate tradition started, with the choc coins, but one year we couldn't get the coins, so it became chocolate. Only one or two pieces from an Elite "cow" bar of chocolate.

freidasima

Mon, Dec 07 2009, 1:00 pm

I too was taught that anything having to do with giving gifts on chanukah was non jewish because of Xmas and the close proximity of the two holidays.

We do what my parents did for me and what they used to do for them in Europe. Each kid gets chanukah gelt, as little kids not much, and only on the first day of chanukah or the second night if the first was friday nite. And they also get nuts (a bag of walnuts, or peanuts or anything in a shell) that they can use to play dreidl. The little ones can get chocolate coins until they "get" what money is (which they definitely "get" by four or five) and no, they don't get from anyone except parents. Not grandparents or anyone else.

We also have a daughter who married on chanukah and her son who was born on chanukah so we do give them an anniversary present (and this year for the first time the baby will get a birthday present) but those are not chanukah gifts by any means as they get them on the birthday/anniversary and not with any connection to chanukah.

On other yuntifs they get clothes (RH, Pesach). On purim they get nothing. On Tisha Beav they get to fast.