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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
hadasa
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Sun, Dec 26 2004, 9:25 am
My ten-year-old son has started saying Chitas with me every day (Chumash with Rashi, Parshas Hashavua divided into the days of the week.) We take turns reading every Pasuk with Rashi. So far, he hasn't asked me any problematic questions, I just matter-of-factly read through the Rashis, and I guess he just ignores the parts he doesn't understand. But what do I do if he suddenly asks me what "Tashmish" means, or what Yehudah did with Tamar exactly? (Thank G-d we only started now, after that Parshah, but I'm sure these issues will still come up.)
Anyone have experience in this?
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sarahd
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Sun, Dec 26 2004, 9:50 am
These questions will certainly come up - after all, isha sota is in the future, as well as all the parshios dealing with arayos. And even if not, in the not-too-distant future your son will be learning gemoros dealing with such topics. Most of your discomfort comes because you know "too much" about these things. An innocent child will notice much less than you think. If you're asked, you could call all this stuff "living as man and wife", which is true, but will not give your son any ideas that might make you uncomfortable.
As a 4th grade teacher, I managed to get through Dina and Schechem as well as Yehuda and Tamar with no problems. Ditto Yosef and Eshes Potifar.
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Motek
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Sun, Dec 26 2004, 11:54 am
sarahd wrote: | An innocent child will notice much less than you think. |
true, and even when they notice things they often let it pass as yet another strange thing in the world around them
Quote: | If you're asked, you could call all this stuff "living as man and wife", which is true, but will not give your son any ideas that might make you uncomfortable. |
true
Quote: | As a 4th grade teacher, I managed to get through Dina and Schechem as well as Yehuda and Tamar with no problems. Ditto Yosef and Eshes Potifar. |
kol ha'kavod for not skipping! With Dina and Eshes Potifar it's easier bec. you can easily and truthfully say that Shechem wanted to marry Dina and Eshes Potifar wanted to marry Yosef, and that it wasn't right of Shechem to kidnap her and force her to marry him, and it wasn't right for Eshes Potifar to want to marry Yosef bec. she was already married and a woman can only have one husband.
Tamar and Yehuda is harder to explain.
But I managed, also the part before that, with Onan and Shela dying and those Rashis, not so simple ...
it comes up many times
in Sefer Ha'Mitzvos - what does it mean not to lie with an animal?
in mishnayos Shabbos lots of questions came up ...
got to take it as it comes, answering truthfully though offering as little information as you can get away with
you might even want to resort to - you'll understand more about this when you're a bit older
for boys, it gets very explicit in Mishnayos and Gemara
better to handle your son's questions than to have classmates fill him in (erroneously or not)
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sarahd
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Sun, Dec 26 2004, 3:08 pm
Motek wrote: | Quote: | As a 4th grade teacher, I managed to get through Dina and Schechem as well as Yehuda and Tamar with no problems. Ditto Yosef and Eshes Potifar. |
kol ha'kavod for not skipping!
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The worst thing in the world that you can do is to skip - then the kids just go and look up the stuff in an English chumash. At least like this you have control over what they learn.
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AweSumThenSum
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Sun, Dec 26 2004, 9:36 pm
I would suggest u speak 2 his rebbe or principal, and ask him/them how 2 handle such sensitive topics.
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ForeverYoung
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Sun, Jan 16 2005, 8:48 pm
in any case, when my kids wanted to know exactly how the baby comes out somebody told me give them:
1. facts only
2. 1 at a time, as they ask
3. do not provide details.
B'H, we got over that stage, but boy was my son quizzing me!!!!
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