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Forum
-> Miscellaneous
Should wedding registry info be included in the invite?
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| Yes, its ok to enclose it. |
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34% |
[ 19 ] |
| Definitely not ok. |
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36% |
[ 20 ] |
| I don't like it, but many people do it, so it must be ok. |
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23% |
[ 13 ] |
| Other, explain.... |
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5% |
[ 3 ] |
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| Total Votes : 55 |
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chocolate moose
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 Wed, Feb 17 2010, 2:14 pm
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The person can view the registry and buy the item elsewhere, where it's cheaper. I have done that and just called the parents to tell them to take it off of the registry.
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busydev
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Wed, Feb 17 2010, 2:21 pm
| chaylizi wrote: |
My mother told me I had to register somewhere, because she was getting inundated with phone calls. I ended up getting a couple of things from my registry. I felt kind of funny registering, because here the community makes a shower & gets new kallos most of the things they need. I was able to set up my house with the gifts I got at my shower (with maybe a couple of minor additions). |
I registered for the sake of those who were not included in the community shower or those taht wanted to get something themselves. my registry was not on the shower invite. I got almost everything from the main shower. but my class/friends also made me a shower. so I registered for them and then returned alot of it and used the money to buy other things that were needed...
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Isramom8
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Wed, Feb 17 2010, 2:22 pm
In my city, invited guests usually ask where a bar mitzvah boy is registered. It's very helpful to the guests, who would otherwise be pretty clueless about what sefarim to buy. So we register at a local sefarim store but do not put it on the invitations.
Our kallah-daughter is not registered anywhere. I looked but couldn't find an affordable local store with a registry. Maybe I should try Mashbir. No one asked me, but then again, we only just sent out invitations. I think checks are the most convenient gift, actually. Because otherwise the kallah ends up with a set of two towels, yellow and orange, and another set of two towels, purple and pink, etc. Nice, but strange to set up a home that way. And just imagine her dishes.
I wouldn't include registry info in invitations, unless it becomes acceptable, which might not be a bad idea since it only helps people. I mean, the vast majority of invited guests give a gift. Those who don't can just ignore the note - it's not like the didn't know about the custom of giving a gift.
At any rate, I invite people to my simcha because their presence will make me happy - not their presents. There are those whose budget does not extend to such items, and that's perfectly understandable to me.
Someone asked if she could bring a child to the wedding beacause of a special circumstance, and she would pay the child's way. I told her this wasn't a business deal! My decision about whether or not to include the child has nothing to do with financial "compensation".
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Temilia
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Wed, Feb 17 2010, 5:08 pm
I registered for my wedding, and it was so helpful. It was enclosed in the shower invite, not on the wedding invite, but people called my mom and asked.
It was good for a few reasons:
a. My wedding took place in a different state than where I was (going to be) living with my dh, so when people got a gift off my registry they could just ship it to where I was going to be, instead of bringing it to the wedding, and me having to deal with shlepping huge boxes which contain 1 knife on the plane. On a side note, does anyone know why Macys packs such small items in huge boxes, I would literally open a huge box, expecting to find a pot, or at least a tray and after tons of popcorn and wrapping uncover a.... peeler, or something like that.
b. I didn't end up with 7 toasters like my older sister.
c. My registry had things from about $5 and up. And you know what, I really appreciate and use the $5 gagdgets all the time, and remember who they are from and appreciate it evn more than the fancy platters which I pull out once in a blue moon.
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mltjm
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Wed, Feb 17 2010, 6:30 pm
It is SO tacky and SO not ok.
The best way to do it is register at two places- one nicer store, like crate and barrel or william sonoma, for some fancier, less essential peices like serving ware and at another place like bed bath and beyond or target. That way people have a price-point variety. Spread it by word of mouth. Your mother, mother in law, grandmother...everyone who is going to talk to someone. Word will get out, especially if it's common in your community for couples to register. It's easier for showers too, because then everyone knows what you want.
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Raisin
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Wed, Feb 17 2010, 6:58 pm
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almost every wedding invitation I have received has a gift list notice inside. It's completely acceptable in this part of the world.
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mo5
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Thu, Feb 18 2010, 1:48 am
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Like Raisin said. Same here. A lotof stores have pre-printed cards where teh couple just includes their 'number' and is inserted into the invitation envelope. What's wrong with that? If I don't want to, I just dont buy from there.
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mha3484
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Thu, Feb 18 2010, 11:40 am
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My grandmother worked for the gift registry at Neiman Marcus for 10 or so years. She has such stories of people buying the craziest gifts since there was no registry. We did not include any information in the shower invitation and we got the vast majority of what we needed. Im happy we did it that way.
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jmw
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Fri, Feb 19 2010, 7:23 am
In my community, most kallahs are given a shower with friends and neighbors hostessing. My daughter had such a shower, and I myself have been a hostess for some of them. My daughter registered but I've forgotten whether it was put on the invitation or not. I think it's best not to be on the shower invitation, but
when the guest rsvps to the shower she should ask the hostess where (or if) the kallah is registered. I've never seen a chasuna invitation with any registry information.
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melbee
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Fri, Feb 19 2010, 11:54 am
We registered at 2 places, BB&B and Target, but weren't particularly attached to what we registered for. We basically figured we're register to give people an idea of what we needed, and they could get the actual gift anywhere. Of course if we got it straight off the registry, that was fine too.
I do think it's tacky to put the registries into the wedding invite. We didn't do it, and I always get sort of turned off when I see others do it. Although that doesn't stop me from using the registry, it's just tacky. I think it's ok for shower invites though, since the point of a shower is to give practical gifts for married life. Knowing what the chosson and kallah need would obviously be a big help.
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JessicaA622
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Fri, Feb 19 2010, 12:55 pm
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People want to get you a gift you actually need. With a registry they'll know what you want and need. There's no issue with putting a note in the invitation.
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nylon
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Fri, Feb 19 2010, 4:30 pm
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I registered and my mother told me to put the registry stuff in the invites as she was already getting questions. I was getting married outside the US and none of my American relatives would have been able to buy me anything had I not registered. I felt somewhat guilty because it felt like including the registry information was asking for presents from relatives who wouldn't be able to attend the wedding, but my mother said they'd been asking.
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heffer569
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Fri, Feb 19 2010, 5:20 pm
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I registered at Tiffany's and William Sonoma. I did get alot not all the stuff off my registry we did not put it on the invite to the wedding. The only shower we had was made by my friends and they bought what they wanted which was totally fine. If we got things we didnt need I wouldnt know 99% of my wedding gifts are still wrapped in my basement 4 yrs later dont ask.
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Isramom8
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Sat, Feb 20 2010, 2:20 pm
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What is a shower invitation? In my day the frum girls just told one another there was a shower for so and so., and they chipped in together for gifts.
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