DH going grey | Imamother

Besiyata Dishmaya

Sat, Jul 17 2010, 7:30 pm

kitov wrote:

No, I don't like it. I usually give my dh a haircut, so I keep on picking out the whits from his payos that are so far like, say, one white hair in 2 months. I daven to live together till 120 yrs plus, but I sooo want him to keep his color.

Reminds me of a story in the Gemora (I think). A man who had two wives, an old one and a young one. The old one picked the black hairs and pulled it out and the young one picked the white hairs and pulled those out. Eventually he became completely bald. Smile

Raizle

Sat, Jul 17 2010, 10:39 pm

A word of advice, don't encourage him to find out if dying is allowed. Better to help him embrace his new look.

Dying hair is not allowed for a man.
Either way, I hate the idea of a man dying their hair, even non Jewish men. It just seems like such an effeminate act.

amother

Sat, Jul 17 2010, 10:47 pm

I am going to be anonymous for this one...

My husband does dye his hair. He just goes to the regular cheap chain saloon (Haircuttery or such) and asks the person who is cutting his hair to dye it. His natural haircolor is black, so when it is dyed all black nobody can even guess it is dyed. He is over 40, but looks much younger.

He didn't ask a rav. I know that if he asked and got a no, he would be very depressed and probably find a way to do it anyway, or shave his head or something... For him it is psychological, he is very depressed about graying and aging in general.. he does what he can to be young and healthy (diet, exercise) but nothing he can do naturally about graying...

IloveHashem613

Sun, Jul 18 2010, 1:52 am

Is your husband dying his hair for his friends????

I'm pretty sure its assur for a man to dye his hair, maybe some rabanim will make an exeption but I dont know. But instead of searching for a heter to dye his hair why don't you learn to accept yourselves (ur husband) for who you are (for who he is). Unfortunately, aging is a process thats going to happen whether we like it or not. If we spend years trying to fight it, we are fighting a losing battle. But, this doesn't mean you have to accept looking ugly c"v but rather, focus on the things you CAN control like eating healthy, working on your self esteem, excercising etc... if your husband is in good shape, eats healthy and a happy person inside, he will be attractive no matter how many greys are on his head.

If your husband is gonna let some comments made by his friends make him all bent out of shape about his grey hairs and go dye his hair, then he needs to either get some new friends or get some thicker skin. Its normal to be a little self concious but if he decides to do something about it, it should be because he wants to do it for himself, not cuz others are making fun of him. I say, learn to wear the greys with pride and show people that it doesn't matter. I think confidence is the most attractive quality of all.