"KIDS at RISK">PREVENTING RISK FACTORS>CAMPS

roza

Fri, Jun 16 2006, 4:48 pm

"KIDS at RISK">>PREVENTING RISK FACTORS>>OVERNIGHT SUMMER CAMPS

This topic is an off-shoot from the 'defining 'kids at risk' thread.
As was discussed in the above thread, almost all children are 'at risk' no matter how minimal the risk is, many think that BT kids are even more at risk. One of our jobs as a parent is to prevent and minimize those risk factors.

To quote from medical realm:

Quote:

Altering environmental and lifestyle factors may have the largest impact on cardiovascular health outcomes in the long term.

In this thread I am looking for suggestions and advise concerning a very specific situation in which our children find themselves, that of the overnight summer camp (obviously frum and/or chassidishe).

My main concern is the following 'risk factor'- the influence of rebelling, non-frum kids who make their way in such camps. Such kids can very well be from the most chassidishe family with yechus ( and whose grandfather moiser nefesh for yidishkeit in Siberia), which makes it even harder to withstand their influence. In addition, those children look very frum on outside and follow most camp rules.

Are their any other risk factors?

How can we prevent or minimize their influence on good, young children?

We can discuss girls camp vs boys camp, but in my personal situation- I am sending 2 boys to CGI NY. They have had very positive experience there for the last 2 summers, but I am still concerned, especially that the boys are growing older and are more capable to come to their own conclusions.

Any thoughts? What should we discuss with our own children, what advise, guidelines can we give them regarding above issues? Did you have any experience with this?[/b]

Tefila

Fri, Jun 16 2006, 4:57 pm

Sadly my kids have gone to a chassidshe overnight camp to come back with a couple of first hand knowledge horror storys of familys kids we thought were fine and turned out they were fast b/coming gruba mentchen. shock

All we can do as parents is try our best to instill in them yiras shomayim and watch them and how the are with their peers and what influence those peers have if any.

Basically I am for this year not sending my kids back to that camp but I am not convinced that elsewhere is the grass truly holier . So Yes we have to train them right. Try our best and daven to Hashem to take care of the rest.

Motek

Sun, Jun 18 2006, 6:40 pm

roza wrote:

Are their any other risk factors?

1) even not those who are rebelling but those coming from homes with different values than yours, who may or may not be in your sons' bunks

2) molesters

Quote:

I am still concerned, especially that the boys are growing older and are more capable to come to their own conclusions.

I would say the opposite. Because they are older and wiser and have absorbed what you've taught them, I would think they are stronger, less vulnerable.

Quote:

How can we prevent or minimize their influence on good, young children?

Any thoughts? What should we discuss with our own children, what advise, guidelines can we give them regarding above issues? Did you have any experience with this?[/b]

1) This is something you work on year round in the chinuch you give them at home, in developing a strong relationship with them, instilling yiras shomayim, independent thinking so they stand up for what's right.

2) You can present scenarios to your kids and ask them: What would you do if ...

What would you do if another boy or boys wanted to break the rules?

What would you do if another boy had "not nice" books or music CD's and was hiding them but you knew about them?

3) Definitely discuss tznius, at the pool, when getting dressed and undressed. Ask how they did it previous years.

Bring up the idea of not going off alone with ANYONE, even they're counselor or learning rebbi. Practice what they would say if someone like that asked them to go somewhere with them.

dleah

Sun, Jun 18 2006, 9:31 pm

my friend and I learned all about intimacy in camp, the first time we went. it was camp emunah and we were public school kids, knew nothing until we went to this frum camp.

also roza, it works the other way just as well. there was a girl in my bunk the following year and her name was karen and I will always remember her. I was going to a frum school by that point and knew a lot more than she did. the other girls, from crown heights, were so horrible to her. I remember they made fun of her for not knowing what or when havdalah was. she was crying a lot and left camp in the middle of the month. we have to warn our children the other way too. they have to be a mench to everyone, frum and especially not so frum.

Motek

Sun, Jun 18 2006, 9:55 pm

dleah wrote:

my friend and I learned all about intimacy in camp, the first time we went. it was camp emunah and we were public school kids, knew nothing until we went to this frum camp.

Somehow I don't think the Rebbe had this in mind when he spoke about the amazing 24 hours-round the clock, camp experience Confused

Quote:

her name was karen and I will always remember her. I was going to a frum school by that point and knew a lot more than she did. the other girls, from crown heights, were so horrible to her. I remember they made fun of her for not knowing what or when havdalah was. she was crying a lot and left camp in the middle of the month.

Where were the counselors? Truly shocking and so sad!