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Names for body parts and bodily functions (merged)
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yoyosma




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 9:43 am
Yup, that is my philosophy. I told DD from an early age that her v-gina was called a gina, only because the word was too long to say. Now she calls it gina, but knows the right word. Same for nipples, like I wrote above.
At first it made DH a bit uncomfortable, but he got over it. I remember personally not knowing what a p-nis was, and being embaressed by that because I could not pronounce it properly or what not.
Making up names only teaches a child that what is there needs to be hidden or masked and they should not think that is the case.
I have seen parents yell at their kids not to touch themselves in "the dirty" or "untzniusdike" place, when it is done innocently, and the children were SO embaressed and ashamed.
Again, DD knows they are her privates, only Mommy touches what her bathing suit covers, and that her privates are for private places, if that makes sense.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 10:04 am
Quote:
Making up names only teaches a child that what is there needs to be hidden or masked and they should not think that is the case.


but this IS the case! It does need to be hidden, and it is a special thing, and special things need special care, coverings, and protections. As jewish people we dont use vulgar words. Just because every [gentile] out there calls it a va... doesnt mean we do the same. We try to use modest words.

And I tell my dd's they're welcome to touch their tushies when their tushies are clean. So yes, I can say "it's dirty, please go wash your hands" -- they know that from after the bath until they do their first release their tush is clean. Hygiene, anyone?
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yoyosma




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 8:15 pm
Quote:
It does need to be hidden, and it is a special thing, and special things need special care, coverings, and protections. As jewish people we dont use vulgar words


I am sorry, but anatomically correct words are not vulgar!! Why would you say they are vulgar? I understand if a child is using words he hears on TV, or on the street, but a scientifically correct term isnt vulgar!!! And when I was discussing dirty, I didnt mean hygenically unclean, I mean parents who embaress their children not to touch themselves when it is done innocently and make them FEEL dirty by using that word!
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 8:32 pm
yoyosma wrote:
I mean parents who embaress their children not to touch themselves when it is done innocently and make them FEEL dirty by using that word!


At the same time, you can't let a child get this habit... Making them feel dirty is problematic, but halachically there would be more problems with such a habit.
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MommyLuv




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 8:41 pm
Quote:
At the same time, you can't let a child get this habit... Making them feel dirty is problematic, but halachically there would be more problems with such a habit.



Making your child feel bad for "this habit" can cause much worse problems. Kids are innocent; they do what feels good or what comes naturally. Obviously kids should be taught that they need to only do things like that in private.

I think there was a thread on teenage boys touching self, so this discussion doesnt belong here anyway....
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 8:46 pm
MommyLuv wrote:
Quote:
At the same time, you can't let a child get this habit... Making them feel dirty is problematic, but halachically there would be more problems with such a habit.



Making your child feel bad for "this habit" can cause much worse problems. Kids are innocent; they do what feels good or what comes naturally. Obviously kids should be taught that they need to only do things like that in private.


Why not tell them they shouldn't do it at all?
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Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 8:47 pm
You can tell a child it's not tznius and instill that in him/her.
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yoyosma




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 8:51 pm
I agree that children should not walk around touching themselves, but when they are yelled at or ridiculed or shamed, then that is not OK. I remember the other thread, but I think this is different because we are talking about much younger children, although this is not what this thread is about.
If DD would touch herself on the street, I would tell her that her private parts are for private places, like the bathroom or her bedroom. In fact, its come up once or twice, and she completely understood me, and doesnt do it anymore in public.
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Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 8:54 pm
Who said anything about yelling?
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yoyosma




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 8:55 pm
Crayon, if you read ALL my posts on this thread, you will see that I mentioned that I have seen children being YELLED at for touching themselves.
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Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 8:57 pm
But if you witnessed the kids being yelled at, it was being done in "public" to some extent...to little kids, it's the same as being yelled at for picking their noses. How harsh was the reaction?
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yoyosma




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 8:59 pm
I am not sure I understand to whom you are reffering when you say reaction, but I saw a little boy about 5 years old touching himself, who knows, adjusting??
His mother pulled his hands away, slapped them and yelled, "We dont touch our "zach"!!! Its a dirty thing to do!" The little boy began to cry, and I was horrified.
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Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 9:02 pm
I assume you would have reacted the same way had he been picking his nose and his mother slapped did that (I certainly would have been horrified!)

But that woman probably isn't very in tune with her kids in general, not just about this issue, you know?
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yoyosma




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 9:04 pm
I agree, and that was an extreme case.
However, I have seen mothers both Jewish and non-jewish telling their kids not to touch themselves. Maybe its a prudish offshoot from the 50's, I dont know.
I am NOT advocating anything, but my point is, a harsh reaction in that case never produces good results.
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Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 9:05 pm
I agree. I think harsh reactions in general (unless the kid is running into the street or lighting himself on fire, CHV) are not a good idea, but I suppose in such delicate matters, it could have a worse result. Sad
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yoyosma




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 9:06 pm
Crayon, do we agree on something??? Very Happy Oh happy day!!! (kidding)
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Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 05 2006, 9:08 pm
LOL, it happens every once in a while.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2006, 2:19 pm
I tell my son, whenever he starts touching himself, and he knows already, that Hashem said we are not allowed to touch (play with) our _____.
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faigie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2006, 5:59 pm
wow.
I never realized this WAS an issue
keep it simple, shes three years old!
either shes gotta go pish, or shes gotta go "make"
thats it..... keep it simple!
I wouldnt call "pushing" making shmutz, cuz I dont want me kid equating her body with anything shmutzy.
if she asks you what it is ,,just tell her the whole thing is a tush.. "here" you go pish "here you go make"
shoin....... move on, pop her in a tape, plug her in, and distract her to something more 3 year old-ish.
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Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2006, 6:36 pm
faigie wrote:
I wouldnt call "pushing" making shmutz, cuz I dont want me kid equating her body with anything shmutzy.


Biologically, it IS waste.

Quote:
if she asks you what it is ,,just tell her the whole thing is a tush..


The whole thing is NOT a tush. (I can't believe I posted that.)
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