living out of the matrix

acccdac

Wed, Jan 12 2011, 10:13 am

Does anyone else feel like they are living outside of the matrix? Yes I am referring to the movie.

Let me explain a little more.

I feel like everyone around me is weird/crazy/stupid/blinded stick in whatever term you like best. I feel like everyone's focus in life is so wrong, their ideals, wants, wishes, topics of conversation or just not where they should be.

For example, if you want to live in a bigger house and you can afford it thats fine, but I dont understand how people allow their happiness or worth to be tied up into that house. And once they get it they go into a new area of decorating it, worried about what others will think, etc. Why cant people just look at a house as a dwelling place? I'm not saying it cant be nice, but pick the tile for the whole house in one day, if you give it more time than that, you are giving it way too much importance.

I feel like everyone is worried about being judged by others because THEY are busy judging others.

why arent people living their lives based on Torah and worried about how Hashem is judging them. Why are they asking themselves "will Rivky think I'm cheap if I choose this tile in my bathroom?" instead of asking themselves "will Hashem think I wasted too much time decorating my house?

Now I know I'm using a stupid gashmius example of a house but you can stick in any example you want, making meals for the sick, choosing schools for your children, dealing with family members, having guests for shabbos, etc. the scenarios are there also (will they think my food is the best ever instead of will they feel comfortable in my house)

I just want to know if there are any other people out there like me. some may say I should move communities and the truth is I dont really live in this community, but I dont feel like it's only in THAT community I feel like it's happening ALL OVER THE WORLD.

acccdac

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 2:00 pm

good wifey wrote:

Peer Pressure Exclamation

so your saying that peer pressure is so high that we're not able to live our lives based on Hashem's pressure?
we're too worried about what rivky thinks instead of what Hashem thinks?

I'm not saying your wrong at all, I agree with you to some extent but I'm just trying to decide if I agree with you and say everyone's compasses are off because of peer pressure.

in every class in every school there are 2-3 kids in a class of 20 that end up doing something (sticking a note on the back of the teacher's back) based on peer pressure, but at the same time I do know of ONE class in ONE school made up of 20 students, where 18 of them got their parents to buy them kipling backpacks.

I guess if I'm talking about the note example that doesnt apply to the world at large because it's more than 10-15% of communities that are acting that way. But if I'm talking about the backpack example then that is 80% of our communities and that makes more sense

the sad part I guess is that the backpack example is one class in one school in one city in one state, and what I'm referring to is occurring in many communities.

so maybe I do agree that it's all cause of peer pressure.

but then how do we stop it? isnt silence about peer pressure like we agree with it? we talk to our kids about peer pressure (if your friend jumped off of a bridge would you?) but do we really have shiurim about not falling to peer pressure?

good wifey

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 2:13 pm

Well, you have a good question, and I wonder about it too. I didn't disagree with you, only pointed out the fact.

Personally, I don't fall for it. I live my own life and yes I sometimes stick out because I don't do what 'everyone' does. And I know that some people point at me as "different" and even sometimes weird.. Between you and me, who cares??

Aylat

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 3:28 pm

acccdac wrote:

good wifey wrote:

Peer Pressure Exclamation

so your saying that peer pressure is so high that we're not able to live our lives based on Hashem's pressure?
we're too worried about what rivky thinks instead of what Hashem thinks?

Yup. That's why Rabbi Yochanan (I think) blessed his students on his deathbed that their fear of heaven should equal their fear of people. It's a normal human failing, we all have to work on it in whatever area it attacks us - which might be "I'm different from everyone around me". (Not sayng this is you, sometimes it's me.) And so yes, we do need to hear shiurim about peer pressure.