the anonymous writing thread

amother

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 1:05 am

Good night.
Lights out.
For some, sleep begins.
Others have company in bed.
For me, it's just nightmares.
Nightmares of people messing up with me in the darkness called night.
I can feel the uncomfortable sensation of something being forced into my v*gina.
I can feel the pain tugging at my heart.
Although I'm married and 25, I still feel 11 and alone.

Good night world,
While you're hugging your partner,
I'm clutching reality.
While you're sleeping peacefully,
I'm waking up in tears.
While you don't want to wake up,
I can't wait for morning.

While you are just an ordinary person,
I'm a victim.
Every day I do one more thing to fight s@ xual abuse.
That is my nightly resolution so I can fall asleep.
And today will be like no other.
I shall recite one more prayer. Post one more story. Speak up one more time,
So my night wasted shall not be in vain.

Good morning world, good morning!

amother

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 1:36 am

I can see the shore,
the trees in all their splendor
from my boat it seems a wonder
how can there be such a place?

I trim the sail
rev motor,pull oar--no avail
the winds too strong, the wind a gale
how will I ever reach that place?

give up give in-
is my fate to never win,
is it guilt of an unknown sin,
that I shall never reach that place?

Would it be swift
to stop,let go, to simply drift-
give up, give in, a mind-shift
to find peace in a different place.

Aylat

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 5:49 am

These are really powerful.

Just wanted to let you know, you can post anonymously in the Imamother Writing Club forum, so you could move/restart this thread there and maybe more people would see it and contribute.

sneakermom

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 9:30 am

My heart goes out to you the one who was s-xually abused. You describe so well the feeling of being powerless and overtaken by somebody. I am glad you spoke up. Now more people will understand what that experience is like.

I wish for you that you will overcome your feeling of a victim. That now the experience is overwhelming and painful - it takes you over. I pray for you that you will take over it, bit by bit, that you will process all this, and that you shouldn't be a victim to the memories that hold power over you right now.

I would like to recommend EMDR therapy. It's a terrific therapy for trauma. It works with eye movements and zaps out the incident so that it is less painful after that. It allows the brain to process it in a safe way, and it brings up associations related to the incident that you can work through. Really - after EMDR therapy, the severity of the pain of the past becomes diminished. It is less intense and it won't have such a hold on you.

May Hashem heal you and comfort you, and give you strength to get past this. You can get past it. You are now an adult, the past was the past....use your freedom as an adult to slowly creep out of this.

Hatzlacha!

amother

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 10:29 pm

Take Your Time

Take your time,
Enjoy the present,
That is yours
It’s truly
A gift.

Take your time,
For it is yours
To spend however
You may
Wish.

Take your time,
Savor the moment
‘Cuz it will never
Come by
Again.

Some people just
Don’t take their time,
They float through life,
And let time
Take them.