Frum Homebirth story on A Baby Story!!!

yytsmommy

Wed, Feb 02 2011, 1:46 pm

this is an interesting discussion, bc I have been thinking about this recently...I hope I get responses, I may just start a new thread...
anyway, my baby is already 6 mths old and I am still kind of traumatized from the birth. this was my second.
the first was a horribly painful labor- yes I said horrible b/c the contractions were over 1 1/2 min long and five-7 min apart when I was 1 1/2 cm! yes 1 1/2 cm! and on the moniter they were like later contractions.
when they had been going on like that for a whole day, I had an epidural which worked wonders (until I started having terrible back labor- had the epi upped and then fine) great pushing and recovery.
my next one I wanted to try "naturally" and hoping for a quicker easier birth as it was my second. well, it wasn't! was also horrible. I had contractions the whole night of tisha bav- regular and painful. then they stopped. then more regular- every ten min- for hours and then gone. I was going crazy. finally got moving when I had my membranes stripped. long and very painful labor- midwives kept asking if I was sure it was my second! Rolling Eyes

finally asked for the epidural when it was just too much. the contractions did not behave. were not consistent. would be every few min and then nothing for 5 and then a really bad 3 min one. they were bigger than the machine could handle. my doula was shocked- and she has seen many births.
I had the epidural and it didnt work!!!!!!!!
the pain was horrible- and I had enough epi that I couldn't move.
so bad, I had nightmares afterwards. (not to mention not wanting another one for a while because of it)
so, now, I feel that I might take a epi as soon as I see the pos preg test LOL

I think it didnt work last time b/c too late.
I don't know...
all I do know is that I desperately want to know if this is normal. if anyone else went through labor like mine (and terrified for the future- really want many more children, but doula and two midwives I spoke to, who helped with this birth- with the first stripping and another one which progressed my again stalemating labor- they all said future births will likely be like this- inconsistent, irregular contractions which are more painful than they should be- meaning having transition like contractions during the first stage of labor!)

anyone like me out there? any hope? anything to take away the fear?
thanks in advance and if this was way to long and shouldn't be in this thread, tell me and I apologize and will make a new one.

newmother

Thu, Feb 03 2011, 7:20 am

pina colada wrote:

to the poster above, I have no advice for you as I am a c-section Mom, however, are you fit? Do you exercise regularly? I don't know if this is true, but I have heard that exercising regularly, especially continuing during pregnancy may help with labor.

I personally had a terrible labor and I am extremely fit. During my pregnancy I was walking for over an hour every day and my labor was so hard that after I pushing out ds I was so exhausted that I rolled over and fell asleep before even seeing the baby (bh they didn't have a room available for me so they let me sleep for two hours!) I am hoping that this time my labor will be easier!

Chavelamomela

Thu, Feb 03 2011, 8:36 am

yytsmommy wrote:

thanks for replying. I am actually not very fit. nor do I workout. I am by no means overweight, though. just not the strongest. wonder if exercise would help. thanks for the idea. my doula actually told me to do yoga. said that would help. so IYH will try it next time.

Like you, I am not very fit, but I really do push myself when I am pg to go to a prenatal yoga class at least once a week - it was my lifeline!

It really made a difference. I found that it helped me condition my body for the rigor of labor. It helped for both of my pregnancies, and I found it taught me how to relax the parts of my body that were not under stress when I was in labor.

I do believe there is a difference between women who plan and prepare for natural labor (educate themselves, take physical care of their body) and those who don't know what to expect. Obviously, at some point you have to "let go" and let the labor happen to you, not control it, but the better you prepare and educate yourself, the more empowering experience it can be.

Mrs. XYZ

Thu, Feb 03 2011, 9:16 am

Quote:

And then there's a well-kept secret among natural-brirthing women - something that many women who have experienced natural birth can attest to - there's something called a "birthing high" - you get this incredible amount of adrenaline and oxitocin, and these hormones actually make you feel GOOD! Like you just ran a race that you won! Or worked so hard in your whole life and you achieved EXACTLY what you wanted! It's an amazing bracha to feel this intense high (its a natural high - not drug-induced). And its something that women who have epidurals just don't feel. (You can ask women who have had both types of births, and they will verify the difference).

Sorry, ive had both and did not see a difference at all. I was on the same 'high' both times.
Maybe because, even with the epidural, I still went through 2-3 hours of excruciating active labor before the epidural, so why should it make such a difference just because I took a short ''break' from the pain?

yentadevosha

Thu, Feb 03 2011, 9:22 am

Mrs. XYZ wrote:

Quote:

I can say the same, maybe even disagree to an extent. I've had both type as well. The 2 w/o the epidural, I felt so weak and drained afterwards and the 3 with the epidural I felt alot better.

yytsmommy

Thu, Feb 03 2011, 12:02 pm

MrsMortgage wrote:

Having an epidural late in labor is no reason for it not to work. Sometimes they just don't work. Sounds like you got the worst of everything- you felt the pain but you couldn't move to make it better. That's just awful!

thanks for being sympathetic! Smile

makes me feel better (good 'ole validation Wink

).

I had waited so long to get the epidural b/c I was hoping to go without it.
and I have to say, though that my first labor- with an epidural almost the whole time, I had a much greater high than with my second. when all I felt was miserable and exhausted. I didn't want to talk to anyone and just wanted to sleep. all that pain was truly awful and I really had nightmares about being in labor again. I think I am finally getting over it 6 MONTHS LATER!!!
so Rolling Eyes

whatever, about this high- I think it is better to feel good about your labor and not think of it with horror. with my first I was laughing and talking with the nurses as I was pushing- with the second I was screaming "get out!".
that was just my experience. to me labor is just Pale

something you unfortunately must go through.

chavs

Fri, Feb 04 2011, 7:39 am

das wrote:

Am I the only one that doesn't find this beautiful at all?? (I didnt read all 12 pages of comments but the ones I read seemed to be in agreement) She seems tortured. I had a beautiful birth experience-relaxed and PAIN FREE because of an epidural. Dont see whats so beautiful about crazy pain when it can be alleviated.

I had a beautiful epidural birth with my first. WIth my second it wasnt so beautiful, they inserted it wrong my bloodpressure dropped too low, all the alarms were off, dh was scared witless and I was throwing up. Afterwards it wasnt so beautiful eaither when I got a postdural puncture head ache that lasted for a week. It felt like my head was split open, I couldnt sit or stand as the pain intensifies, my dh had to get a heter to help move me, I wasnt able to change my own babys nappy. Going to the bathroom was awful as the pain is horrendous when I was standing and sitting. It was hell and a lot worse then any contaction ever was. The epidul was furthermore not so beautiful when they attempted to give me a bloodpatch to put it simply clog up the whole from the original epidural, they had to do the bloodpatch byt, guess what... you guessed it right, by givingme another epudural. I had 3 epidurals after giving birth (a total of 4 epiduals) but its a heck of a lot worse when you arent in labour and you are in pain and painfully aware of whats going on. The bloodpatches kept 'breaking which was why they kept giving me more. All in all I can say that the pain was merciless and there was no beauty in it.