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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
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 Sun, Feb 20 2011, 8:58 pm
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My kids (toddler to mid elementary age) are constanly fighting, needling each other, bickering, teasing.... I feel like my house has turned into a war zone and I just can't take it anymore. One child especially is very difficult and I feel has had such a bad influence on the others. When consequences, bribes and threats don't seem to work, what do you do? I just don't see how we can continue on like this anymore.
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junam
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Wed, Feb 23 2011, 5:43 pm
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I wish I had some good advice, but I am in the same boat. Its almost constant, with the oldest child being the most difficult, and demanding too. Siblings Without Rivalry is a good book though.
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yo'ma
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Wed, Feb 23 2011, 6:20 pm
I'm sorry I can't help you, but would you mind if I print your post, enlarge it, laminate it, and post it on our wall to show my dh and remind him that it's not only our kids  ?
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amother
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Thu, Feb 24 2011, 2:54 pm
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OP - Thanks for the replies; I guess there's no magical answer
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marina
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Thu, Feb 24 2011, 8:52 pm
Reward idea: Each child starts the day with 3 scoops of icecream dessert that they can get before bedtime. Every instance they fight, each one loses a scoop. Every time they solve the problem peacefully, they each gain a scoop, up to a certain maximum of scoops. Scoops can be a small spoon, it doesn't have to be a real scoop.
The downside is that I always had to have ice cream in the house. The upside was that this worked for me for about 1-2 years, as long as I varied the flavor, etc.
Consequence idea: Each child gets a chart with six boxes. For every instance of rudeness or fighting ( in our house we also added not following directions and whining), they lose a box. First 3 boxes are free and then they lose dessert (4th box), screen time (5th box) and are grounded or have early bedtime (6th box).
I have been using this successfully since September.
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