Mean Kids | Imamother

Secbeb

Tue, Jun 20 2006, 9:15 pm

goldrose wrote:

GR wrote:

Quote:

the same kind of parents, btw, ignore when their children bother adults too.
dont ask me how but I know kids who used to be so obnoxiously annoying to be around, and now they are such nice girls/boys.

the kind of parents I referred to in my above post, are the nicest people. I guess they just have different parenting ideas than I do.

gr, as far as children who are annoying, I think (my perception) that although they come from parents who are "the nicest people" they are lacking attention. I think that is where the annoying part comes in. They arent secure knowing that when they need attention they will get it, and therefore they have to pester people at any opportunity they get, to make sure they get the amount of attn they need. What do you think?

I agree. Sometimes a child wants attention so badly that they'll even settle for negative attention if need be.

amother

Tue, Jun 27 2006, 10:12 am

someone im friends with now I hated as a child cos she was very wild when we were kids, her parents were quite heavy handed too. Now she has her own kids an I see how rough she is with them, even loving gestures like kisses and hugs, include tight squeezes and pinches and are so rough as to make most other kids cry. her verbal love is also negative, she'll say 'come here my little weirdo'. she is not a mean mom she just has a different way of showing love but it is affecting her kids (not surprising) and already they are wild and it doesnt look like a good pattern for the future.

amother

Sun, Jul 30 2006, 8:40 pm

I have an adorable 10 year old niece who is quite a character.

So she tells me stories about the politics that go on in her 4th grade class. There is the class queen who always gets her way, and then 2 or 3 popular girls who everyone likes. she is one of these popular girls.
The rest of the class is categorized as the "low girls." Confused

1) a while ago my bil and sil decided to go away over shabbos, and told my niece to choose a friend she wants to stay with for that time. she chose a girl she likes- one of the "low girls," and got permission to stay there over shabbos.
when my niece's "popular" friend found out she is staying with a "low girl" and not with her, she got upset and told her she's not going to be her friend anymore.
so my niece was stuck- on one hand she didnt want anyone upset with her, on the other hand she really wanted to stay at the other girl's house and thought the "popular" friend wasn't being nice.
she risked the "popular" girl's wrath, and stayed with the "low" girl she wanted to stay at in the first place. while she was staying there, her friend turned to her and said, "Why did you choose me? I'm one of the "low" girls." Exclamation

2) during recess in school, only the "popular" girls are allowed to play in whatever game they decide to play. it's a small class, so the rest of the class were upset since they didnt have enough people to play a game too, and had to just stand around and watch the other girls have fun.
This bothered my niece that the other "popular" girls didnt let the rest of the class play, so she stood up to her friends and said: "If they can't play, I'm not going to play either!" and she went to the other group and started a game with them.
Now the "popular" girls were stuck since they didnt have enough people to play their game. So they stood around and watched the other girls have fun, until they came forward embarrassed and asked my niece if they could play too.
My niece says, "what should I have done? on one hand, I want them to know how it feels not to be included like they do to the rest of the class, on the other hand, I dont want to act like them and I need to have Ahavas Yisroel!" and she let them play only for the sake of Ahavas Yisroel!

My point in writing this is that there are some really nice kids out there, although I think its rare. Confused

I wish more kids can be like her.

(anonymous because I'm not her only aunt on Imamother Wink

)

Tefila

Sun, Jul 30 2006, 8:49 pm

Quote:

One time one of my sons did not want to let an unpopular boy play with a toy that he had brought for recess. The teacher told me about it and I made him take the toy to the boy's house and let him play with it. I also made him invite the boy to our house to play.

Good for you Southern Bubby Thumbs Up

It's sad almost tragic I have a son who is willing to get himself into trouble shock

so someone is not mean to a perticular kid he told me "mummy this is my shlichus this is my korbanos" Crying

I told him there must be some other way. Lets have a shabbaton which we did. It helped my son with that boy but he couldn't chjange others behaviour towards that boy Sad

yes there are some mean people out there.

Usually it is a learned behaviour too, though not all the time I agree..... but mostly Exclamation

Motek

Thu, Aug 03 2006, 4:51 pm

Quote:

And so it went, day in and day out. Patience would get on the bus, the kids would scream her name, tease her, and refuse to let her sit with them. Patience would inevitably force her way into a seat as the bus driver yelled at her to sit down already, always oblivious to her situation, and the unlucky seat partner would cringe and scoot as close to the window as possible, to avoid contamination.

full article:

http://www.aish.com/spirituali.....e.asp