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Is there a trick to raising a toddler??



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Teva26




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jul 30 2011, 3:57 pm
I need help! I didnt grow up around kids and I have no clue what to do with myself embarrassed
Im also very pregnant and tired all the time!

This is what a typical day looks like with my 16 month old DD

-She wakes up screaming, I quickly do netilas yadayim and get a bottle, she drinks it in her crib and I scramble about the bathroom etc trying to wake up

-As soon as she finishes the bottle she stands up and starts screaming REALLY LOUD the whole neighborhood I feel like can hear her. This continues until I either take her out to roam about the house or change her diaper & clothes (at this point I also sometimes try taking her to my bed singing her Modeh Ani to calm her down which doesnt usually help)

-I work a few mornings a week where I will take her to daycare myself in the stroller(otherwise DH takes her), but just to get out the door I have to either skip breakfast, delay Birkot Hashachar, or break my back running after her. Forget about makeup and having a great outfit unless its planned the night before. Usually the house is also a mess at this point because Id rather have her playing than screaming in her crib (the play pen is at the babysitter's apartment and she hates it just as much)

-When she comes homes from daycare she is either exhausted because she doesnt sleep much there (she is very very very active) and will want to sleep immediately. If not, I give her a bath( Im grossed out by all the daycare germs) and then feed her and put her to nap or to play. If she naps its just for a half hour, if she plays,it can go on until between 7-9 p.m where I keep thinking she is out for the night, do the bottle and song routine, and then she is up and screaming again until I take her out to play, until she has really had it and I have to do the whole routine again.

Here's the thing though, we have quite a small apartment and her play area is the living room, Ill pull out toys for her from a toy box but she prefers finding anything else other than toys and throwing it all around the house. She also loves going to the shower/bathroom (I try to keep the door closed but sometimes I have to run in to get something and she has already chased me), loves trying to get into the garbage, into all the closets, trying to open the front door, her new thing is climbing onm the couch which gives me a heart attack and I run to her before anything can happen (except one time I didnt make it on time and thats the only time she actually did fall blahh!)
She is also super tall for her age and is already reaching the high dining room table and buffet where the plants and pictures are , Im freaking out! And if something doesnt go her way she screams this high pitched scream like its the end of the world. Lately she has been doing thsi scream alll day. Its not even crying, its screaming like in the horror movies lol!

Ok so how do I keep my house clean(thrown house objects, crumbs, toys..)? How do I keep my sanity from the screaming? How do I keep myself from not chasing her around the house(couch scare, she tries to walk around in my shoes) ? Better yet-she follows me everywhere as well= does every toddler do this ?? Also when she is overtired she goes wild running around the house and crying ad not wanting to sleep davka and will end up falling and getting hurt!
Better question-Is all this normal?
Sorry I didnt mean for this to be so long, I do feel much better now though haha
any advice is great, thank you !!!

P.S> she also started hitting and kicking a lot. whats up with this ???
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sw




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jul 30 2011, 7:36 pm
She sounds like an active normal toddler. Are there other people in your neighborhood to get together, outside, take her for a walk to break up her time. Sounds like you are trying to be a good mother and doing a great job. Look out for parenting classes. I heard temmi perlberg is great from birth to age five. Good luck. It will get easier.
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grin




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jul 30 2011, 7:55 pm
I agree with sw. also, it seems to me that she's caught onto your nervousness and screams to get a kick out of your quick response. you may have to learn to let her scream and go to her at your own pace- even better, tell her to calm down first.

and better she falls from the couch (ouch!) to realize that she may get hurt - I doubt seriously - than have her dare you by going on there to enjoy the chase.

To deal with your own nerves during this time, keep repeating to yourself: she will grow iyh, she will grow, and this too shall pass.
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jul 30 2011, 8:01 pm
It is normal for toddlers to get into everything and make a huge mess. You can limit that by restricting access to anything you don't want her touching. Keep all closets and rooms closed. Get childpfroofing locks for all drawers and cabinets. Don't leave anything on the edge of the table or the counter. Empty all low shelves if you don't want her emptying them. etc. If you want to limit crumbs, don't let her run around with food- put her in the high chair for every meal and snack.

What doesn't sound good is her lack of sleep schedule. Children really don't function well without a daily schedule of nap and bedtime. So you really need to figure out a time she will nap EVERY DAY, and a bedtime you will stick to EVERY NIGHT. Kids that young can't be counted on to get enough sleep based on when they feel like sleeping. There are different methods for sleep training, but whatever you choose, be consistent in your routine and timing. I am confident you will both be less stressed and calmer overall.

BTW, in the morning my ds also wants to be taken out immediately. I change him and give him milk and settle him with toys and only then start thinking about my own needs. That's the way some kids are.
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observer




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jul 30 2011, 8:17 pm
I just wanted to add that even though I'm sure you desperately need the sleep, if you can set an alarm and wake up before she does, your whole morning might look different because you can get dressed, put on makeup etc while she's still sleeping and then be ready for her when she wakes up.
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Teva26




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2011, 1:34 am
awesome answers, thanks gals Smile

How much should a 16 month old be sleeping? whats a proper sleep routine at this age?

I know I should totally wake up first , I just have really bad morning sleep yetzer hara lol but my day would start off muuuch better for sure. Ill try to work on that
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2011, 6:32 am
Teva26 wrote:
awesome answers, thanks gals Smile

How much should a 16 month old be sleeping? whats a proper sleep routine at this age?

I know I should totally wake up first , I just have really bad morning sleep yetzer hara lol but my day would start off muuuch better for sure. Ill try to work on that


Toddlers generally need 12-14 hours of sleep in a 24 hr period. Usually the daytime nap is 1-3 hours, and night is 10-12.

A typical sleep routine at night is: feed dinner, play, bathe and brush teethe, say Shema/sing songs/read book, and put in crib with a kiss. If she still gets a night time bottle, you can do that during Shema time and brush teeth after. Baby does not come out until morning, unless there's a real problem (sick, etc). Naps are usually just put in crib with a kiss, or give bottle before if you do that.
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Teva26




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2011, 7:10 am
sounds logical and simple enough Smile I guess I have been doing OK . thanks again
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2011, 7:26 am
Teva26 wrote:
sounds logical and simple enough Smile I guess I have been doing OK . thanks again


Sounds like you're doing great! We're all just muddling through Wink
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2011, 3:41 pm
sounds normal to me.

you say you have low plants and pictures. move them, you'll stay saner longer.

I suggest you give her a bottle outside the crib. she probably won't scream afterwords.

have the daycare keep a log of her naps. you should know exactly what her schedule is.

babyproof EVERYTHING. put doorknob covers on the bathroom door and keep it closed. don't let her into the bathroom while you are using the toilet. if you go in for something else, it's not a big deal if she comes in, but I'd limit it if possible.

don't bother with a playpen. if you need her confined, put up babygates around your living room. as long as the whole room is safe for her, you don't have to worry.

the mess is totally normal. not much you can do but try to teach her to help clean up.

the screaming is normal as well. she's trying to communicate with you. she may not know that you understand her. try telling her that you know she's upset when she screams. talk to her about it, she may be happier if she knows you really understand. if that doesn't work, there are always earplugs Smile

can you keep some toys separate as wake-up toys? she may keep herself occupied while you wake up.
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be good




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 31 2011, 4:54 pm
my reaction doesnt seem to be along the lines of the other responses,(and im not felling so well) so ignore me if I missed the point...

with 19mo dd, I found from day one, or maybe more like 6 months, that treating her like I would want to be treated, talking to her (pretty constantly) and respectfully, and validating her feelings (what I assume she is feeling, at least), and warning/prepping her 'psychologically' before every activity, has done wonders. whenever I slack off and go about taking care of her without narrating, explaining, and responding verbally to kvetches and cries, things get much worse-- fast.

she is NOT easy! dd is ENERGETIC as they come, extremely STRONG WILLED, and stubborn, throws tantrums, does plenty of aggressive hitting, and throwing food she doesnt want, even hitting dolls. she also does a lot of experimental tipping over of things, spilling out, pulling down, and major mess making. she loooves mushing around and spreading out things she has spilled- she shreiks with glee (at least its a ray of sunshine in the colossal mess).

but, I would say 19 out of 20 tantrums I feel coming on are avoided by my being flexible (oh you dont want to wear this? thats okay, you can wear that! or, you arent ready to go inside? okay, we can stay 2 more minutes, and then we will go inside and you can sit on mommys lap and we will read a book!)

it seems like you are doing great though!
b'hatzlacha!
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