boys bored while waiting for bus

shoy18

Wed, Sep 20 2006, 9:42 pm

I think that people are showing thier fangs, because it really is dangerous and Im sorry to say this but what your doing can c"v be a matter of life and death, why put them at risk, walk down the stairs and stay with them and if its soooo hard pay a teenage girl who is waiting for her bus to watch them. Parden me, but its not worth it to be so stupid!!!

cindy324

Wed, Sep 20 2006, 10:48 pm

Quote:

Sometimes my kids wait inside in the hallway but theyre not content to do that

So YOU don't even HAVE to bundle up because there's a HALLWAY!!! That would be so much better to watch them from there than from upstairs.

I'm sorry but you're just digging yourself in deeper by giving more details.

And I don't get it - what do you mean they're not content to stay inside the hallway?? If Mommy tells them they have to stay inside and keep mommy company until the bus comes because it's very cold out, do they not listen? You must have some authority over them, don't you?

Look, I'm sure you're trying your best, and this isn't to say that I deserve Mommy of the year award, no, not by a long shot! But you have to understand that I live in a neighborhood where I see very young children being left unattended outside, or little 4 year olds left to be attended to by their 6 year old big brother , who is too busy staring at the construction down the block( as well as a child that age should be expected) instead of keeping an eye on his little brother.

I see little tiny preschoolers waiting outside for the bus every single morning I walk down my usual block, and where's mommy? Nowhere to be seen, or like you , I look up and see a tichel sticking out a third story window.

I am constantly asked by young children to cross them, being they aren't old enough to cross by themselves, and IMO if they can't be trusted to cross the street by themselves they shouldn't be walking around alone in the first place.

mbk

Wed, Sep 20 2006, 11:23 pm

Cindy, its very obvious that you live in NY. It is a sick place for raising children. I have lived there myself and what youre saying is not at all the picture that happens here. Firstly, there is no crazy traffic, honking nervous people, and hustle and bustle here. I live in a city that is very relaxed and take-it-easy. Secondly , why are you calling it a hole that im digging deeper into? Since when on earth are a bunch of women capable of passing judgement on me? Who on earth do you think you are that you can be so JUDGEMENTAL? What started out as an innocent question from a very capable mother has turned into a mud-slinging contest! One thing I can tell all of you is, that you should add this insulting tirade onto your list of things to ask for mechila for on rosh hashana. I dont think ill post again so soon. Im just so turned off.

smily

Thu, Sep 21 2006, 12:30 am

Maybe you should speak to the Rebbe and other staff and Mechanchim who live in your area. Even if they all told you its fine and safe I don't think it sounds safe, but at least look at it again and be the best Mother you can. May you have lots of Koach and a gut gebenched safe and healthy year.

TzenaRena

Thu, Sep 21 2006, 12:52 am

mbk, I'm just wondering why you are responsible for the 4 other boys? Someone suggested that the mothers should take turns. That sounds reasonable.

The lady upstairs from me didn't come down to watch her kids because she had a toddler and newborn that she was right not to want to leave alone. I definitely understood her, and we were good friends, but I felt she was relying on nissim and ME! It was I who opened my door and stopped the older child from taking the snack away from the younger one, who was crying. It was also me who would tell the kids to go upstairs to get a jacket if they weren't dressed for the cold or rainy weather.

But before she lived there, there was another mother with a toddler and newborn, and she would come down every morning with ALL of them, and sit on the stoop, or the steps inside the hallway, talking to them, looking at their school or artwork. sometimes she was dressed but most often in a robe. The babies were always in pj's. Who cared? I couldn't stop admiring her.

mommy24

Thu, Sep 21 2006, 8:38 am

I also live on the second floor of a building. My kids have to wait for the bus one across the street the other right in front of the building.

I decided in order to get everyone out, including myself I would have to wake up 10-15 minutes earlier and get dressed before I go out to the kids. Also to prepare everything for breakfast, clothes, snacks,tzedaka, mitzvah notes,etc the night before, so the mornings run a little more smoothly.

I take my 4 kids (aged 6-1) downstairs and cross the street for the bus at 7:30. then come back up and go back down an hour later (with 3 kids) for my son's bus. even though it is a quiet town where I live I can't imagine a 6 yr old waiting outside by himself for the bus.

As much as I try to get there and wait outside it is not always possible. sometimes we watch the window and wait for the bus and then run out either from home or the apt entrance.

I think you and the other mothers should take turns going down, or wait downstairs by the hallway. talk to the bus driver and explain that on some mornings when you are running late your son may be watching from inside so he will have to run down.

No one said it is easy, it is very difficult to get everything and everyone ready for school on time. But, to leave a child anywhere, that young by themselves is dangerous.

Motek

Thu, Sep 21 2006, 3:29 pm

cindy324 wrote:

I am constantly asked by young children to cross them, being they aren't old enough to cross by themselves, and IMO if they can't be trusted to cross the street by themselves they shouldn't be walking around alone in the first place.

I will just comment on this point. I think that an 8 year old, let's say, who is allowed to cross side streets by themselves, can be told to ask adults to help them cross avenues. That's how I was raised. I have been asked by children to help them cross avenues. I see nothing wrong with that.

Motek

Thu, Sep 21 2006, 4:50 pm

happymom wrote:

what if the person who helps u cross the street is someone dangerous..... u never know!

If they're dangerous, asking them for help doesn't change anything. So you're saying that children up until, say age 15 shouldn't be allowed to go outside alone?

happymom

Thu, Sep 21 2006, 8:17 pm

Quote:

If they're dangerous, asking them for help doesn't change anything. So you're saying that children up until, say age 15 shouldn't be allowed to go outside alone?

no, I am not saying that. What I am saying is that I dont think its appropriate to have kids walk places themselves where they will have to cross streets until they are OLD ENOUGH to CROSS BY THEMSELVES. If they cant, to me that means they are too young to be walking there alone. (wherever it may be)

Pickle Lady

Thu, Sep 21 2006, 9:55 pm

SaraYehudis wrote:

But before she lived there, there was another mother with a toddler and newborn, and she would come down every morning with ALL of them, and sit on the stoop, or the steps inside the hallway, talking to them, looking at their school or artwork. sometimes she was dressed but most often in a robe. The babies were always in pj's. Who cared? I couldn't stop admiring her.

I also have a newborn and a toddler. I either get us all dressed and it helps me get pshed to start my day or if I am running late they are still in thier pajamas. Its defentily not convient but I am not about to send my 3.5 year old to wait for the bus himself. I am his mother and they are my responsiblity.