Spending one-on-one time with your children? When and how?

roza

Wed, Oct 04 2006, 1:02 am

One-on-one time-one parent and one child.

For elementary school age children (not toddlers or preschoolers)

Do you think it's important to have one-on-one time with each child? Or do you think that spending time as a family is good enough and there is no need for regular one-on-one at this age?

Those of you who do have individual time with your children - how often? Once a week or once a month? Or does it depend on a child? How long?
What do you do, how do you spend time together? Any ideas and advices on the topic?

miriam

Wed, Oct 04 2006, 1:25 am

My daughter is in kindergarten. I know you said no preschoolers but she is pretty close to elementary school. I think it's the quality not the quantity. She arrives home from school at 2 and her sisters are usually napping so we get a little time together alone. Sometimes we just share a hot drink together and find things to giggle about. Sometimes I try to take her shopping alone. I cherish our special times alone.

busymom

Wed, Oct 04 2006, 10:52 am

my friend has 5 children. the 3 oldest are about 7, 9, and 11. she does her main grocery shopping one afternoon each week, and every time she takes along one of them while dh stays home with the other kids. they all look forward to their shopping spree with mommy, and she gets sth done while spending time alone with the child.

I've also heard of taking evening walks with one child at a time after the little ones are in bed. this can be done every night, so that each child gets one walk with mommy every week, or once a week, so that each child gets a walk every three weeks or so...

although I think anything like this is really wonderful, I must admit that I don't have any "system" for one-on-one time. I do recognize the importance of this, however, and make sure to take advantage of any such opportunities that would allow me to shmooze and connect with a child when the others aren't around. if one looks for it and is aware of its importance, one can find it pretty regularly. hatzlachah!

minileah

Mon, Oct 23 2006, 9:31 pm

hi . ill never forget what my mom always did when we were kids. we all used to come home from school , wait by her bedroom door , and we would each have a turn to have one on one time with her in herroom on her rocking chair and we could tell her about our day ,.....
(and it wasnt 3 or 4 kids I come from a large family , and those 5 or 10 mins made such a difference toeach of us )

roza

Sat, Nov 11 2006, 10:38 pm

Motek wrote:

a great article:

http://www.ou.org/publications.....p.pdf

I just found those papers again and reread it, it talks about the importance of spending one-on-one time with a child and recommends instead of spending time every week with all family, have one-on-one time with each child and they will value this once a month time with a parent more then weekly time with a parent and all the siblings. Also in the article are other great advises on building relationship with children.