I don't like people commenting on my small baby!

amother

Mon, Sep 11 2006, 6:09 pm

My little baby was born a couple weeks early and weighed 5 1/2 pounds at birth. B"H, she is gaining steadilly and her doctor is happy with her progress. However, everywhere I go with her, I get comments on how small she is. Strangers ask how old she is. When I tell them she is 3 months, some have even asked if I feed her! Friends and aquaintances constantly comment on her size and how she is now as big as their children were at birth. Then there are the people who just stare when I say how old she is. They just look at how tiny she is. I'm also tired of telling everyone she was born early and small when they remark about her weight. I feel like just staying in the house with her and not going anywhere. Now that it's getting cold at least I can cover her up with a blanket.

Any advice on what to say when people comment on my baby?

micki

Mon, Sep 11 2006, 6:17 pm

the only way you can feel bad, is if you feel you did something wrong.
if you are not then be confident in yourself that yes you do feed her, yes she was born early and yes she she small!
there is nothing you can do to make people stop asking, ther is nothing you can do to make her grow but there is something you can do about how you feel.
mine was born a month early at 5 lb 12 oz.
she is 6 now and is still tiny. I love it- such a huge personality such a small cute person.
learn to love it!

Mitzvahmom

Mon, Sep 11 2006, 6:26 pm

eh... My Oldest, now 8, was 6 lbs 1 oz... B"H she's the cute little 8 year old with a massive personality, I am embarssed to say people are already looking at how cute she looks (body wise for a shidduch blah!).

My middle child was 5 lbs 8 oz, one week late! K"H he has a photo graphic memory, and I think he's actually a bit bored in class!

People commented on how small he was, but u knwo what...good things come in small packages (any size is a good size), do not let them get to u.

BTW. my youngest, now 3.5, was my bigst 8lbs 5oz... Ouch!!!

Tefila

Mon, Sep 11 2006, 6:28 pm

Quote:

However, everywhere I go with her, I get comments on how small she is. Strangers ask how old she is. When I tell them she is 3 months, some have even asked if I feed her!

I had that with my 4 yr old she was tiny forever not that she is any bigger now but atleast she is taller so she will have a size 2 waist unlike her mother embarrassed

People make interesting comments amother you have learn to use comebacks like: no I don't feed her she is growing on her very own..... talk about a miracle Twisted Evil

mom23

Tue, Sep 12 2006, 7:50 am

I had all my children early. My second one was a month early and she was 5lb 8oz at birth. Of course she lost weight in the hospital and came home at about 5lb 4oz. I also got comments about her size, but I was in contact with my pediatrician who assured me she was gaining weight at the right pace. I did have to supplement with formula and I had to wake her up to eat at regular intervals. B"H she is a healthy 6 yr old now, though she is a bit on the small side. And like previous posters have mentioned her personality is also huge.

At this point in time every month makes a difference, and your baby's size is more noticable. Time will even things out a bit and you won't get as many questions. Some people will always say tactless things to you about everything - even your own children. That will never change. You don't owe anybody a medical history of your baby and you can choose to share as much or as little info as you want.

When someone asks how old your baby is - you can respond vagely like "She was born at the end of the summer" or "Her birthday is in July". Most people are not going to try to calculate her age and not think as much into her size. If they do start commenting on her size just say the doctors are not concerned - she seems to be exactly where she should be.

Just remember - this too shall pass. Enjoy your precious baby.

chen

Tue, Sep 12 2006, 8:08 am

Get used to it. People are going to comment--if it weren't how small she is, it would be how big she is, how pale/ruddy, how quiet/fidgety, how much/little hair she has, how under/overdressed, blah,blah,blah. Grow a nice thick skin and cultivate selective deafness. IOW--ignore them!

JMto2

Tue, Sep 12 2006, 8:17 am

Both my girls were extremely small under 10lbs by 6 months you have to learn that there are nosey untactful people in the world and learn how to answer them like I would say "good things come in small packages" "We love her the way she is" and if they ask you whats wrong look at them like they are odd and say nothing she is healthy B"h.

Raisin

Tue, Sep 12 2006, 2:40 pm

Well, you could just answer people: She's 3 months but she was born a little early.

My kids were all huge 9/10 lbs. Now they are normal size, even on the smallish side. My son has a classmate who was also born early, but is much bigger than him now.

Look on the bright side: You can use a baby bjorn comfortably, which I never could once they were more than a month or so old! Very Happy

amother

Tue, Sep 12 2006, 4:21 pm

I got that often with my first son, he was born 5 weeks early and weighed just a hair over 4 lbs. He was hospitalized for 10 days. Depending on the "attitude" of the person commenting - I would change my answer.
If it was just someone making an innocent comment - I would say that he was born a little early and B'H he is doing great now.
If it was someone who seemed by their tone to suggest that I was doing something wrong, I would say yes - he was born a little early and B'H he only had to be in the hospital for 10 days.

NumberOneMommy

Sun, Sep 17 2006, 7:09 pm

I was at the barber with my two children. Somebody picked up my baby who is 15 months and underweight. He commented "He is so light do you feed him?" I can totally relate to what you are saying. My son was not born early or late, he was on time. He was born 6lbs 10oz. My son is failure to thrive, has reflux and multiple food allergies. He is very small for his age but has a ton of personality. I'm sure your baby is adorable and we just have to ignore these comments. We all want the best for our children and would do anything for them. you should have nachas from all your children

raizy

Thu, Sep 28 2006, 8:40 pm

unless u delibertaly underfeed her then dont feel bad about her weight.

I on the other hand have a chubby dubby who weighed 5.9 and the nurse came to my house every day to weigh him because they thought that we wasnt gaining weight . he had a low suck and didnt like to eat and didnt cry . so they banged my door down. anyways he is now 18 pounds and 6 months. u wouldnt tell the difference. oh and he was about one month early.

miriam

Fri, Sep 29 2006, 7:43 am

Isn't it annoying???? When we are children/babies, we want to be nice and plumpy but as adults we want to be so thin!!!

My third is my smallest and I get comments. I am very proud of her size b/c it's who she is. Maybe she will always be petite, maybe not.

ny21

Fri, Sep 29 2006, 7:57 am

just yesteraday

I was at a funerual
and a relative looked at MY teenage kids-

and commented
they are so skinny !

DO you feed them? I answered her back and said NO ! they feed them selves !

a few months ago I asked on Imamother -
What should I do when people ask do I feed my kids -
one women said to say -No they feed Themselves!

ny21

Fri, Sep 29 2006, 8:01 am

when people comment on your small baby -

you can say she is a month younger than she realy is -

no one is going to look at her birthcertificate--

all my kids are always the youngest in the class

and the smallest -

its nice to call them" Petite:

Tue, Oct 17 2006, 7:42 am

well I had the opposite: from 6weeks old my DS chubbed out BIG TIME - an I was only nursing him, an I contstanly got comments (an still do), oh, he's soo big! and its upsetting 2 me, he's such a yummy cute gorgeous boy KA'H - why cant they say, he's so cute? (he really is - its not just blind mother-love!)

chen

Tue, Oct 17 2006, 11:45 am

cl wrote:

Generally speaking, when people say about a baby "he's so big"--it's intended as a compliment. big babies are assumed to be healthy, growing and thriving.

Ladies, if you intend to survive motherhood, you really have to develop a duck's back.

MommyLuv

Tue, Oct 17 2006, 12:08 pm

totally agree with chen.
People think they have license to comment on anything related to pregnancy, babies and kids, and to ask any question on their mind.

for some reason, this is one area that total strangers have no problem prying into stuff that is not their business. You just gotta laugh cuz some of the comments and questions are just ridiculous...and it always throws the offenders off guard to give them a humorous or sarcastic comment....

I like the "she'll grow out of it" retort...that's perfect!!