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What would you do?



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amother


 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2007, 3:34 pm
I run a playgroup from my home. One parent couldnt pay so I said okay..ill give you a discount. They never ended up paying....saying they will..just dont have the money yet. so I said okay..she cant come next month unless I have the money from the past month (a big discount) and for the coming month.
is that mean of me???
should I have just kept the her till her parents gave me the money??
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momto4




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2007, 3:38 pm
I dont think you did anything wrong. you dont want this mother to set a new trend! good luck!
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2007, 3:41 pm
I don't think you did anything wrong either. I'm sorry that family is in such a bad situation financially, but you don't have to suffer too. especially after you tried to work with them and even then, still haven't gotten paid in full or in part.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2007, 3:42 pm
I know but someone pointed out to me if c"v the tables were turned, would I want my kid to be kicked out of the playgroup b/c I didnt have the money right away. and that got me thinking! I feel bad now. but you know I really need the money from these people because I have bills I need to pay!
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yoyosma




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2007, 3:54 pm
Well, I think you answered yourself. You have bills to pay.
We can only go so far before people take advantage of us.
You already did the Chesed of allowing the child to be in your playgroup for free thus far.
Also, isnt playgroup a luxury until real school kicks in?
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momto4




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2007, 3:55 pm
I just remembered something else. in my sons playgroup, at the beginning of the year, we give post dated checks. this way you just deposit it on the 1rst of the month or something and you dont have to collect money every month. you just have to hope that no one bounces checks on you!
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2007, 6:00 pm
is she a working mom? can she get a gemach to pay you?
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Marion




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 02 2007, 1:29 am
I couldn't afford it either...but I found a way. I only get paid (as is standard) on the 5th for the previous month, but I have to pay for the month in advance. I thought about asking to pay 1/2 at the beginning and tack the 2nd 1/2 on to the following month's payment, but realized that wasn't fair. Not only do my DCPs have bills to pay, they also put out money for the daycare all month...toys, food, activities, games. It's not right to expect someone else to "suffer" until you can pay up. Would you ever say to a babysitter at the end of the evening, oh, by the way, I can't pay you tonight?
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mumoo




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 02 2007, 1:54 am
If it really bothers you, the thought of kicking out the child, consider whether her spot would be filled by a paying person. Does her spot also necessitate an assistant? Are the craft, snack expenses more with her (ie, do you have to buy the same size whether she is there or not?)

My point is, you are totally reasonable for expecting $ for our services. But if you are bothered by kicking her out, decide if you could really handle the child, as a chesed, for a certain period of time. Maybe just ask for the food and materials payment. Ask the parent to pay you whn she is able. You should make sure she doesn't tell about you arrangement if you decide to do this, tho-it shouldn't get around.

I remember one summer, just after having a may baby, a carpool-not even close friends, decided to drive 2 dd's to and from camp every day-just because. Sometimes a person's chesed is what keeps someone else together.
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BinahYeteirah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 02 2007, 5:37 am
amother wrote:
I know but someone pointed out to me if c"v the tables were turned, would I want my kid to be kicked out of the playgroup b/c I didnt have the money right away.


I'm sure I wouldn't want my child to be kicked out either, but I would never expect someone to work for free. If I couldn't afford it, I wouldn't sign up for it. If I were a mother who used the time to work, I would pay my childcare first. After all, the childcare is what makes it possible for the mother to work at all.

If you decide to let the child keep coming, just do it as a chesed, not expecting payment. If she keeps saying she will pay, but does not, you will have bad feelings unless you go into it knowing that you aren't doing it for money.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jan 02 2007, 12:18 pm
I would tell her that if she couldnt pay then she should so something else to compensate for the money. like be another helper in the playgroup so u can have more kids who can pay. ppl cant just not pay anything. it doesnt work like that.
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 02 2007, 1:13 pm
[quote]
Quote:
I would tell her that if she couldnt pay then she should so something else to compensate for the money.

That is a jolly good idea I think. Even if she can't pay monetarily then let her do something else for you that is needed. And yes it would still be a chesed. Smile
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mumoo




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 02 2007, 1:41 pm
I like people who say 'jolly good idea'
what a great phrase Very Happy
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Flowerchild




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 02 2007, 2:29 pm
here is a story of what happened to a good friend of mine. she babysits kids at her house, about a year ago she babysat a small baby, the mother was/is working and so is the father, however after a few months that the lady was bringing her baby to my friend her husband lost his job. fine, things happen. so this lady braught her baby to my friend for about 3 or so months after her husband lost his job she told my friend that her mil will babysit from now on. now the catch is, this lady never paid a single penny to my friend and she owes her close to $600. its been a year and there is still no money and not only is there no money but this lady avoids my friend whever she calls, when my friend calls she hangs up the phone on her or never picks up the phone. my friend is not the type to make you feel bad about the money, she would even take $10, $20 a month to pay off the money, or atleast keep in touch with the lady and wait untill she gets paid.

so yes you did do the right thing, you are providing a service which requires a pay, therefore parents have to pay you. if parents cant then you work out some kind of payment method that can work for these parents, not all people can afford to put out money, so there are ways to go around things and make life easier, but not paying is wrong, its pretty much stealing from you.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 02 2007, 2:54 pm
One should never knowingly go into a situation and think - it's okay I just won't pay. However in many situations there is always room for one more. What is the harm in doing a chesed.

I had a situation where my dd wasn't going to school or playgroup and a friend of mine who ran a playgroup knew my situation and not only did she take my dd w/o me asking she picked her up every day. Okay every situation is different. But her chesed I'll never forget - cause she didn't want my dd to miss out.
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