Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Is honesty always the best policy?
Previous  1  2



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

hadasa




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 22 2005, 12:30 pm
How can I expect my kids to be honest with me if I lie to them? As other posters have said, I want a relationship based on trust, and that works both ways.
Back to top

Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 18 2007, 10:35 am
R' Nosson Tzvi Finkel, the Alter of Slabodka wrote:

The son of a good family who stole apples from a cart did not become a thief overnight. The deed has its roots in previous generations. Perhaps his very pious grandfather hid behind the bima of the shul in the name of humility, but the act contained a trace of deception (geneivas daas) because he was acting more pious than he really was. His scholarly son went a step further and stole chidushei Torah from other scholars by reciting them in his own name. The grandson, in turn, became an apple thief.

shock
Back to top

Imaonwheels




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 18 2007, 11:53 am
AweSumThenSum wrote:
honesty is not always the best policy. in fact, the torah permits lying when it is for the sake of peace and tznius.


This is only true after the fact. R' Farkash used the example that if a bill collector calls you cannot tell him that the check is in the mail, hang up and start writing the check. You may, if you know otherwise it will cause an argument, blame yourself instead of who real did or said something.
Back to top

redhot




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 18 2007, 12:03 pm
Motek wrote:
R' Nosson Tzvi Finkel, the Alter of Slabodka wrote:

The son of a good family who stole apples from a cart did not become a thief overnight. The deed has its roots in previous generations. Perhaps his very pious grandfather hid behind the bima of the shul in the name of humility, but the act contained a trace of deception (geneivas daas) because he was acting more pious than he really was. His scholarly son went a step further and stole chidushei Torah from other scholars by reciting them in his own name. The grandson, in turn, became an apple thief.

shock


that is scary.
Back to top

greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 18 2007, 12:08 pm
There is absolutely no reason to lie to anyone - that causes trust issues. However if you feel something is vital for a reason - I always find the truth part and explain from that angle. and why lie about trivial matters that mean nothing anyway - is it really worth it?!
Back to top

Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 18 2007, 3:05 pm
The Shaloh Ha'Kadosh advises parents that if they wish to leave an indelible imprint on their children, they should place utmost importance on honesty. The child who is trained to adopt his parents' code of honor, can be trusted to act properly under all circumstances, long after his parents are gone.

The Shaloh relates that when he lived in Yerushalayim he knew a very pious sefardic Jew who wouldn't deviate from the truth for anything in the world. This man told him when he was a small boy his father would shower him with gifts if he would confess his mischievous deeds and admit to the truth. On the other hand, his father would punish him severely for telling a lie.
Back to top
Page 2 of 2 Previous  1  2 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

Related Topics Replies Last Post
So impressed with the honesty at local store
by amother
25 Fri, Mar 22 2024, 1:21 am View last post
Always been embarrassed to ask this
by amother
10 Mon, Mar 11 2024, 3:37 pm View last post
I don't want to always know when DD has her period
by amother
48 Wed, Mar 06 2024, 6:45 pm View last post
Best place for vort gift? Easy exchange policy 6 Thu, Feb 15 2024, 2:08 pm View last post
How would you handle this AirBNB policy?
by amother
55 Wed, Feb 14 2024, 10:33 am View last post