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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur
Do you make a yom kippur resolution?



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amother


 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2013, 10:56 pm
I am curious how many people really set goals for the new year and make a specific plan to stick to it.
Also, I am wondering if most people choose to work on something between themselves and Hashem or between themselves and other people
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2013, 11:01 pm
Bli neder!!!

I try to work on myself year round. I'd rather the desire to improve come naturally, and make it a part of my whole way of being, rather than it being dependent on a calendar to give me incentive.

Picking one day to decide to start feels weird to me. Before I became religious, I always felt uncomfortable with secular "New Years resolutions", too. It feels like too much pressure, and if you fail you just feel awful.
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mirror




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2013, 11:02 pm
My one goal is to spend less time on imamother reading all those anti-Chareidi posts.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2013, 11:05 pm
OPINIONATED wrote:
My one goal is to spend less time on imamother reading all those anti-Chareidi posts.


LIKE!
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September June




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2013, 11:11 pm
Yes, I take on 2 things to work on every year. One ben adam l'makom and the other ben adam l'chaveiro. I just hope I could stick to it this year.
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2013, 12:01 am
Yes, I found myself asking for help with TH, and pledging to try harder in that area.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2013, 12:13 am
chani8 wrote:
Yes, I found myself asking for help with TH, and pledging to try harder in that area.


Hug Good for you, hatzlocha!
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2013, 5:27 am
September June wrote:
Yes, I take on 2 things to work on every year. One ben adam l'makom and the other ben adam l'chaveiro. I just hope I could stick to it this year.


I do this as well.
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agreer




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2013, 5:30 am
Of course people do!

The rav of our shul said to start small, which I think is great practical advice. I have chosen one day a week to give up a certain vice. That's it - just one day. It's a small start that I hope will lead to a big change over many, many (G-d willing) healthy and happy years.

Starting small and adding annually is a great way to see a difference over time.
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Rubber Ducky




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2013, 5:50 am
My Rav also said to start small. Last month he gave the mashal of a King deciding to visit the homes of some of his subjects and people fixing up their homes in expectation of the King's visit. A peasant couple without much money did little things like fixing the broken leg on their best chair and patching the cracks on their wall.

In Elul:

1) I decided to always speak in a pleasant tone of voice to my husband and to my mother (who lives with us and has dementia), even when saying something they don't want to hear.

2) I decided to at least daven through morning brachas every day (I'm good at talking to H' and really bad at davening).

I've been more successful at the speaking nicely resolution -- so much so that on YK my DH resolved to always speak nicely to me!
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L25




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2013, 7:51 am
good job everyone!
The things I want to work on this year- also small is
one day a week think of 5 things I'm grateful for (bein adam lamakom- since I tend to be angry at Hashem and feel entitled to whatever I have) and 5 things I did right (bein adam to l'atzmi and bein adam l'chaveiro since my husband just wants me to be happier and more confident!!!!! ) based on Sarah Yocheved's kesher wife club). I hope to increase that to the rest of the week but for now....

I also made a list of other things that I want to eventually work on that way I have a whole plan.... but this is the bare minimum.
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chocolate chips




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2013, 10:40 am
I used to take on something small like start davening one day a week or brachos every day but I always always forget.

My main resolution was to try work on my temper, keep calm with my dh and ds (which is really hard for me but b"h working on it).

I try every motze shabbos to choose one thing I will do that week bli neder such as daven, brachos, tzedakah etc.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2013, 10:47 am
I feel I can only concentrate on one thing at a time, otherwise none of my resolutions will be fulfilled. Anyway, this year I decided to never touch self solo. I didn't do it alot but it did happen occasionally in the past. I want to wipe that away and I know it's something that I can manage.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2013, 11:06 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
OPINIONATED wrote:
My one goal is to spend less time on imamother reading all those anti-Chareidi posts.


LIKE!


Best of luck with your resolution.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2013, 11:14 am
I started certain things in Elul. I have 3 kids with social skills issues, so the first area was about them. Working harder to make sure my kids heard me before getting annoyed about disobedience. Making sure they hear themselves by saying gently, "this is what I just understood you to say. Is this what you meant?" before reacting.

I also have some weight loss, exercise, and healthy eating goals.

Finally, to daven with more kavana, and earlier in the morning, instead of waiting till the laat minute to say shacharis.
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wife2




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2013, 11:57 am
L25 wrote:
good job everyone!
The things I want to work on this year- also small is
one day a week think of 5 things I'm grateful for (bein adam lamakom- since I tend to be angry at Hashem and feel entitled to whatever I have) and 5 things I did right (bein adam to l'atzmi and bein adam l'chaveiro since my husband just wants me to be happier and more confident!!!!! ) based on Sarah Yocheved's kesher wife club). I hope to increase that to the rest of the week but for now....

I also made a list of other things that I want to eventually work on that way I have a whole plan.... but this is the bare minimum.


I was thinking of doing 5 things but it was too much - so instead I decided to do every night one thing. but the main thing is it has to be specific, like something that happened that day that I am grateful for. otherwise, it will be the same big things in life. it has to be like thank you Hashem for letting this work out for me today.

looking at what you do right is also great motivation - instead of looking at all the things that didn't get done it really boosts your self-image to notice what you did do. no one can do everything. maybe you made supper or cleaned or watched the kids and gave them attention. looking at the long list of what didn't happen is depressing and makes you feel down at yourself.

I love your goals - good luck in keeping them!
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