adorable and demanding

gr8 mom

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 5:30 am

hi just wanted to hear some tips based on all ur experiences handeling toddlers

I have a 21 mth old girl I feel like I almost always give in to her she doesnt talk tons getting there and its hard to communicate to her so when I want to tell her "no" about something and explain why I try but she doesnt understand and she`ll go on and on with a tantrum amd then I give in! theres so much screaming I can handle any tips?
(I also have a baby so gotta keep my sanity :-) )

greenfire

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 5:35 am

well the more you give in - the more she's going to tantrum ... start setting boundaries so she'll learn that she can't have everything ...

when they're cute - even their tantrums are cute - I know [my cute baby is 19 and no matter what I tell her she just has such a cute face I can never get mad at her]

imasinger

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 5:39 am

So if she wants a sharp knife or to touch the stove, you'll let her after she screams enough? Of course not, right?

If you are confident enough in your own decisions, you will be able to let her scream when you say no. Otherwise, you are teaching her that screaming and tantruming is the way to get what she wants.

Try rephrasing and offering LIMITED choices as much as possible. "No cookies, but you can pick some pretzels or some apple." Not, "No cookies, would you like a pretzel? A carrot?" The first gives her the chance to pick option 1 or option 2; the second gives her the chance to pick yes or no, and "no" is pretty powerful.

the world's best mom

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 7:02 am

When you and dd have a power struggle, you have to win. Every time.

Therefore, you need to choose your battles wisely. When she wants something, ask yourself:

1-Why is it important to say no?

2-Will I end up giving in if she cries for 1/2 an hour?

If it's not so important, or if you will give in the end, then don't start the battle. Give it to her without saying no at all.

But once you choose to say no, you must stick with your decision.

My ds throws tanrums a lot. He's 17 months old. His tantrums are quite adorable- he hides under the table a lot, and hits the floor or the wall. I pull him out and give him hugs, but I don't let him splash in the toilet or use a sharp knife no matter how hard he tantrums.

MMCH

Sun, Nov 03 2013, 7:45 am

that age is tough, esp if they dont talk so well!

first of all,I would say choose your battles.
like everyone else says, of course you'd let them tantrum if she was touching dangerous things.

one tip I learned for that age, is the more I said no, (to non-dangerous things) the more the word NO, had less meaning to it.
for example, lets say my 21 old opened up a drawer socks and started unloading the whole thing. my first reaction is to say "no no no..." but I took a step back bc I realized the only reason I was saying no is bc I didnt want to clean it up.. lol
so I started saving my no's for things that I cared about, like dangerous things, food I dont want to buy/give her...
if you save your no's for when you really mean it, of course she will cry, but you wont give in, bc you wont be tempted to bc of the repercussions... the more she will understand NO.

idk if that made sense.. but its been working so far over here...