son making friends in school

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

Son making friends in school

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amother

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 4:07 pm

I'm worried about my 9 yr old son - I know he has low self esteem and not the best social skills - last night a boy in his class called and wanted to remind him to bring a good prize for him -I asked son what he needed a prize for he said he gives boys ticket s Im assuming if they play w him (he didn't say that) and makes a "goiral" then gives a prize
What do I do about it ? Doesn't seem right does he need a therapist for social skills please help me thanks alot

amother

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 4:54 pm

It makes me wonder what the teacher is doing while all this is going on. Perhaps have a talk with teacher to see what her perspective is on your ds's social abilities.

I was a shy and somewhat socially awkward kid too, but I just sat back and watched other kids have a great time while I was lonely. If your son is in fact doing what you think he's doing - no, it's not quite right - but on the other hand, I have to admire his creativity and initiative and determination to make things better for himself, even if he is going about it in not the best way.

amother

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 6:41 pm

Op here I spoke to Rebbe he says that son seems to get on nice with peers and seems happy boys like him no problem w social skills but I still feel like I need to help him in some way

TwinsMommy

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 8:25 pm

If his teachers have no concerns, my guess would be that he's just doing pretend play--- the Rebbeim do it, so he's going to do it too. But I would have a talk with him about whether these boys EXPECT the prizes all the time from him or if this is a temporary fun little game they've got going on. He sounds like a creative leader.

amother

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 11:19 pm

It sounds like your son is 'buying' off his friends with prizes. You need to find a way for your son to be friends with them without him rewarding them. Hug

amother

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 11:30 pm

My son also had a rough time with making friends. I too wanted to buy prizes for him to 'buy' off his friends. But I was told by a mechanech that it's not a good idea. He told me to help ds with his social skills by having his friends come over to our house all the time, thereby making him comfortable around his friends and giving him the right tools to parallel play.

Ruchel

Tue, Nov 19 2013, 6:01 am

Anne Frank zal had a story about this. Basically, not not not a good idea.

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