Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> Pets
Dog owner advice



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Eemaof3




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 29 2013, 8:49 am
My family desperately wants a dog. I have always wanted one too. The problem is that each time I start to look seriously at adopting one, I suffer terrible anxiety and lash out at my family. I think I am afraid I will be left "holding the leash" and it will be one more job for me to take care of. I am worried about the cost and care of a dog. If I am panicking so much just looking for a dog, should I just give up on the idea or will it get better once I have a dog to love? Why am I reacting to viscerally????
Back to top

gp2.0




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 29 2013, 9:03 am
Try fostering a dog for a few weeks. There are so many dogs that need foster homes until they find permanent homes because the shelters can't hold them all.

It's a really good way to "try it out" for a bit, and after a few weeks you can either decide to adopt or they will find someone else to adopt it.

Added bonus - a foster dog will likely already be house trained and won't have the crazy energy of a two month old puppy.
Back to top

Eemaof3




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 29 2013, 10:44 am
Ooh, good idea. Will think about this one. Thanks!
Back to top

amother


 

Post Fri, Nov 29 2013, 10:49 am
While you may fall in love with the new family pet, chances are pretty good that the lion's share of responsibility will fall on you no matter what everyone else says now. If caring for the dog is beyond what you have the time/ability/desire to do, don't get one.
Back to top

greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 29 2013, 10:57 am
'holding the leash' is always on the parent ... but I wouldn't let that be the reason not to get a dog ...

I'm thinking dogs that bounce around from house to house actually need more care and can be more of a handful & will get pissed off - literally ... than just adopting the dog who you teach to get acquainted with the rules of your house ... then he's there to stay and behaves
Back to top

OOTforlife




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 29 2013, 11:10 am
Assume that 100% of the dog care will fall on you and your husband. If it doesn't, great, but you should assume it will.

The other thing with a dog is that, as with other tasks around the home, you may find you have higher standards for what constitutes adequate care than your DH or kids and making up the difference will fall on you.

For example, a dog will survive ok without walks if it's let out in the yard periodically to pee and poop. But many/most dog owners feel like it's important to give it exercise, especially for those breeds that really crave it. A dog will survive being home alone 9 hours a day with only a quick midday walk by someone hired. But most dogs don't like being home alone for that long and many owners aren't comfortable with that. And so on. Breeds vary in neediness as do individual dogs. And owners vary in sensitivity to the dog's needs and wants. So dog care is much more than just basic hygiene.
Back to top

Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 29 2013, 11:14 am
Right.

You MIGHT do well with a not-young but not-old, used dog. A pre-owned whose owners can't keep him any more. Google the breed, and read up on it. Observe him carefully with a keen eye to his attitudes and behaviors around strange adults (you) and also children. In theory he should be used to a few children around him, with their bustle.

Such a dog will probably be about a third to a half way through his lifespan. You will be mourning him in about five or seven years.

He will also have vet bills. As his life winds down. Unless you decide to not drag out his life that way. Vet bills can be expensive.

Dogs do cost.

Their food can ordered delivered in bulk, dry, which is cheaper and dry food is better for them. But the cost is there.

A dog is going to need two walks a day, no matter what the weather.

This is a quality-of-life enhancing luxury, and the budget has to be there for this pleasure. It is indeed a great pleasure. But he is alive, and will need to be considered, and cared about, like a person.

He does bring housekeeping. So does everybody. There will be a little fur around. He may need the occasional trip to the groomer. The breed description will tell you that. They are not being fancy, it's a real need. For some breeds. Not all.

If a female, she may need spaying, or look for one already spayed.

Somebody, usually the father, is going to have to demand respect from the dog. The dog thinks hierarchically.

Do not just buy by appearance. Know what's inside the dog's head. Look it up. Observe his moves and thoughts as if you were analyzing a person.

I would counsel never to get a stupid dog.

Their intelligence varies hugely, even perhaps within a litter.

Trust your instincts about the look in his eye, and his actions to guage his intelligence. If he is used, carefully observe how he interacts with his present owner.

It is a project to own a dog. Some people find it a fine project. It is a relationship.

Yes, instruction, emotional caring, and physical needs will probably fall on the same person who is doing those things for the family already, meaning the mother.

Walking a dog at night in bad weather shows who's really got the middos. Consider if this is safe in your area.

That also might mean leaving children unattended in some way while one walks the dog.

You might talk to the local vet first. He/she may know of a family that can no longer keep its dog. You would want to know why.

It is normal to go through a dog or two before finding the right one. One has to have the fortitude for that, and so do the children.

You get something, but you have to work for it.
Back to top

OOTforlife




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 29 2013, 11:22 am
Also, you should talk to your husband to make sure you will be on the same page regarding what to do if the dog gets sick, especially how much effort and money to spend on treatment. These days there are very advanced and expensive treatments and surgeries available for dogs. It can cause major SB problems if, after 12 years of doggie devotion, your dog needs dialysis and one of you thinks "It's just a dog, put it down and we'll get another," and the other wants to make every effort, even at the cost of thousands of dollars and/or tremendous bother.

I know someone whose dog is blind and diabetic and he gives it insulin shots twice a day. I don't think the insulin costs a ton, but the need to time it means his schedule is built around it and going out of town is very complicated (unlike for people with healthy dogs, who can usually find friends to dog sit for free).
Back to top

granolamom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 29 2013, 12:20 pm
ok, so I got a dog in the summer. our first pet and I dont regret it because my kids love love love him and I love my kids.
that said......

I do not recommend it.

even though my kids do help out, my dh must feed and take the dog out every morning at 6:30. even on shabbos and days when he could otherwise sleep a bit later. we have dog on early feed schedule so as not to conflict with our morning schedule for the kids.

I do have to walk the dog daily, but only once per day. not every dog requires twice daily walks. I do find that if the dog does not get his daily walk (and just playing with him outside is NOT the same thing) he tends to be more rambunctious and less well behaved.

training is a bigger deal than I anticipated. I'm sure this varies from breed to breed but we MUST work with him every day on his training (he is housebroken but I am talking about sit/stay...if we dont practice daily he starts to jump on chairs and beds and challenging us all over the place). I did not have a clue how time consuming this would be.

my dh keeps the dog clean so I dont have to worry about that, and thus far our dog is only a puppy so aside from shots the vet has been a non issue. but I still have to think about what he's eating, keeping chokables out of the way, things like that.

its a real PITA. but I'm doing this for my kids Smile the kids keep asking me if I love the dog yet, I always say 'I love YOU' because I do not love this dog. by the way, the hierarchy thing is real but the trouble with it is when the dog senses weakness in one of the kids it will try to be the alpha to that child. which in our case meant mounting one of our kids and chasing him. it took a while to train the child to take an alpha role. training dogs involved training kids to properly relate to the dog and that's a pain because now I have more to be on top of the kids about.

we got a hypoallergenic breed that doesnt shed, but if you get a dog that sheds, good luck with all the vacuuming.

maybe it would have been easier to get a slightly older dog, from what I understand, puppies are like toddlers. lots of energy, and less disciplined. I dont know.
Back to top

Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 29 2013, 1:31 pm
Yes.

This might be useful:

http://www.sparkypals.org/freq.....tions
Back to top

FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 29 2013, 5:28 pm
I absolutely do NOT recommend fostering! Having a foster dog is only for people who are extremely experienced with all aspects of dog behavior, and have tons of time and energy to devote to the dog.

Most dogs are in the foster system because they have been abused, neglected, or both. They often have fearful, neurotic behaviors, and can be unpredictable around children. I've fostered closes to a 100 dogs (and a few cats), and they are no picnic. The emotional rewards are immense, but you have to be prepared for a lot of work.

Don't get me wrong, I adore dogs of all shapes and sizes. I have two little rescue chihuahuas, who are delightful. They are sweet, snuggly, don't bark too much, and barely eat anything at all. All their shots are current, they don't jump up on visitors, they sleep most of the time, and HATE going for walks.

That said, the ONLY place they will go potty or pee is under my dining room table. It doesn't matter how long I put them outside, they will hold it until they can get back under the table. I've had them for about 6 months, and there is absolutely nothing I can think of to break them of this. I finally just broke down and bought floor pads for them to go on, and I change the pads when they get dirty. It's gross, but it's either that or having to mop 3 or 4 times a day. I burn a lot of candles, trying to keep the house from smelling like a kennel.

Of all the dogs I've had, I'd consider these dogs "easy", compared to others. At least they don't chew everything in sight, bark all night long, jump up on people, or nip at your feet. I've had foster dogs who could leap the highest fence in a single bound, could eat through any leash you put them on, and would run all over the neighborhood (those dogs got placed on farms out in the country.) I had a dog who got mauled by a neighbor's dog, and it cost me $800 for vet care. I had to sue the neighbor just to get her to pay half.

Dogs are not something you can just "try on for size". They are living creatures with feelings, and they need "forever homes" that will love them and care for them unconditionally. If you don't feel like you can handle the pressure, then you're not ready.

You can volunteer to help at an animal shelter, and get to know some of the dogs that are waiting for homes. If you bond with one while you're working there, then that would probably be the best way to go. Even so, you still have no way of knowing if certain behaviors will show up once you get the dog home. You have to be ready for the commitment.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk "dog stuff". 48 years of experience, including 10 years of professional breeding and competing in the show ring.
Back to top

busymum




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 30 2013, 7:16 am
I have always been repulsed by dogs and have had an "over my dead body" attitude.
18 months ago my family convinced me after many years of begging to get a puppy.
They made all sorts of promises re helping however the responsibility has fallen 99% on me.
The early months were challenging especially with house/toilet training and behavioral training.
There were times I was extremely resentful and angry at the pup as well as at my family.
HOWEVER I must say that I have fallen completely in love with her and totally adore her.
I miss her when we are away and I feel she adds the most beautiful presence to the house.
It is the most calm quiet company to have around the home.
I now struggle to imagine life without her
Back to top

Tamiri




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 30 2013, 2:00 pm
busymum wrote:
I have always been repulsed by dogs and have had an "over my dead body" attitude.
18 months ago my family convinced me after many years of begging to get a puppy.
They made all sorts of promises re helping however the responsibility has fallen 99% on me.
The early months were challenging especially with house/toilet training and behavioral training.
There were times I was extremely resentful and angry at the pup as well as at my family.
HOWEVER I must say that I have fallen completely in love with her and totally adore her.
I miss her when we are away and I feel she adds the most beautiful presence to the house.
It is the most calm quiet company to have around the home.
I now struggle to imagine life without her
Ditto to the "over my dead body" part, yet I was very much alive when my 23 yo DS ("the owner") surprised the family with... a dog. It was the motzash right before Rosh Hashanna. I loved her and snuggled her and said "I don't want a dog" but no one listened. I got up with her the first couple of nights, after which she went to her owner's room. I paid the vet, fed her and walked her, yet still she was not "my dog". I could not have her in the house as her toileting habits were less than savory. I put her on an outside porch (second story) since it wasn't so hot anymore (this is Israel) but worried what would be in the winter months (the porch isn't covered). And I found myself feeding her, walking her, and feeling guilty when I wasn't around to take her for her 1:30 pm walk. She needed to be let out at 6 am, and her owner didn't always hear the cues. She peed on every shmatta I would leave on the floor after washing it. She left paw marks on the tiles. She ate my glasses and left hair in the air even though her owner promised "she doesn't shed".
I stuck with it for 3 months, and about 2 weeks ago she left us for another family.
If the mother doesn't want a dog, and there is no one else around willing to take 100% responsibility, I say don't do it. A dog needs attention, and who is the one with the softest heart to make sure she gets it? The mother. Confused
Back to top

Eemaof3




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 30 2013, 6:38 pm
Thank you one and all!!! You have confirmed all of my fears and yet simultaneously made me hopeful. I'll be rereading all of your advice many times over and will let you know how it turns out.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> Pets

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Need advice
by amother
10 Wed, Mar 13 2024, 3:48 pm View last post
Not sure what to ask for maybe some advice?
by amother
10 Thu, Mar 07 2024, 4:35 am View last post
Looking for advice for a school nit checking programme
by amother
19 Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:14 pm View last post
Bar mitzvah clothes advice
by amother
6 Mon, Feb 26 2024, 5:48 pm View last post
Family vacation in Montreal--advice
by amother
3 Wed, Feb 21 2024, 3:01 pm View last post