sister wives | Imamother

amother

Thu, Feb 13 2014, 12:07 pm

im keeping up with the tv show sister wives. the only reason they chose this lifestyle is cause of their religion. it got me thinking, so many Jewish women lived like this due to what exactly? if its not because of religion y would any self respecting woman live plural marriage? excluding a girl in a kings court. it wouldnt even be about the zex for me jst that my husband would basically be unavailable for me and my kids more than half the time.

mirror

Thu, Feb 13 2014, 12:19 pm

Years ago, there were not enough men. Many children died in infancy and childhood. Teenage boys fought in wars. Plural marriage due to severe shortage of men.

Ruchel

Thu, Feb 13 2014, 1:16 pm

I bet many weren't REALLY given an educated choice, if a choice at all.

Some also had choice between this and singlehood (worse at the times) or this and a worse guy.

For those who did it it was probably normal/the norm.

Though among Jews it was never "the norm", the majority, or positively looked on.
You took a second wife when first wife didn't give you children. Sometimes you were unlucky or the problem can from you and the second wife also stayed childless.

Halachically you're meant to be able to support all these ladies in diferent dwellings... I doubt many men could afford it, either. ASA society changed enough that being divorced was better than being a co wife, it became banned or just undone.

amother

Thu, Feb 13 2014, 1:30 pm

amother wrote:

Sharing my DH with another woman?!?! NEVER!! Not physically, not emotionally, and most definetely not zexually!!!! NO WAY HOZAY!!!

welcome home

Thu, Feb 13 2014, 1:46 pm

amother wrote:

im keeping up with the tv show sister wives. the only reason they chose this lifestyle is cause of their religion.

I disagree. While their religion permits it, they still get to choose whether they want to be in a plural marriage or not. I base this on the fact that some of the teenagers clearly state that they will never get into a plural marriage while others want only that. Also some of Kody's siblings are not in plural marriages while others are and everyone is equally welcome/accepted.

I think that these women get into such marriages for different reasons I.e. want large families, less pressure to perform s-xually, help raising kids, never being alone/lonely etc. but its not really religion based.

Ruchel

Thu, Feb 13 2014, 3:01 pm

But the other kids won't really be hers. Big household, ok. But wanting it enough to share a husband? I can only see it if she's not in love with the guy. If she's in love it's not worth even the help and companionship. Pressure to perform shouldnt be a pressure but a desire, either.

Tablepoetry

Thu, Feb 13 2014, 3:17 pm

MaBelleVie wrote:

"So many Jewish women"- how do you define so many? Polygamy was never a normative practice in Judaism.

In Yemen it was.

booboo24

Thu, Feb 13 2014, 3:25 pm

His tagline on the show always annoyed me "love should be multiplied, not divided" essentially, isnt that what he is doing, dividing his time and attention between four women? Lets be realistic if he was only married to one she would have way more of his time and attention than if he was married to three others.

bluebird

Thu, Feb 13 2014, 5:19 pm

welcome home wrote:

While this may be true for those who get their own television shows, it is NOT by choice for the women who live in FLDS compounds and communities. They ARE forced into pkurak marriages, often as "gifts" to older men. In fact, so many girls are forced into plural marriages that these communities have an excess of young men, an excess that is dealt with by simply banishing them.

welcome home

Thu, Feb 13 2014, 5:51 pm

bluebird wrote:

The Browns make it very clear that they are not FLDS. I hardly doubt they would push their kids into arranged plural marriages considering the fact that they want their kids to go to college and have careers and travel etc. They also have access to the internet and watch tv etc. Its very hard to force an educated person into an arranged (plural) marriage.

http://www.lasvegassun.com/new.....ives/

welcome home

Thu, Feb 13 2014, 6:28 pm

Ruchel wrote:

But the other kids won't really be hers. Big household, ok.

Idk. I cant help comparing it to monogamous couples/parents who have 12-18 children but the parents dont have time/energy to take care of all the kids so the older children end up taking care of the younger children instead. Maybe polygamous marriages are better in that sense since every sister wife can have 1-5 kids each, take care of their kids themselves, and still be in a large family. Plus, they get help from the other sister wives when they need it so the older children are not burdened or forced to be parents to their younger siblings.

booboo24

Thu, Feb 13 2014, 6:38 pm

some of the older children are interviewed on the show, a few of them have expressed that they do not want to enter into a plural marriage....

gittelchana

Thu, Feb 13 2014, 8:56 pm

Tablepoetry wrote:

In Yemen it was.

Most of our sages throughout history did not have multiple wives.

In any case, how many people can afford two wives? How many men can handle two mothers in law? Twisted Evil