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Forum -> Working Women
Need advice, desperately



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amother


 

Post Mon, Jan 22 2007, 1:29 pm
I work part time from 11-1, and was just offered another part time job working from 2-6. The $$ is great, the best offer Ive gotten in a long time. The problem is like this, my big girls come home at 4:30 and my boys come home at 5:30. I most likely will not be getting home before 6:30. Whoever I spoke to, says its not fair to my kids, if I take it. My kids are going through hard times in other aspects, is it fair for me to add this to their burden? Any advice?
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frummom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 22 2007, 1:52 pm
I don't know your financial situation, but I can tell you that I used to come home at 4, when my kids do - now I don't get home until after 5:30, and it's AWFUL for all of us. I vote no.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Jan 22 2007, 3:25 pm
No money in the world is worth this. There are plenty of stories with these working mothers not being home, you dont want your kids to be part of that do you?
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amother


 

Post Mon, Jan 22 2007, 5:11 pm
it sounds like u know that u should be home when your kids are......
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SZ mother




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 22 2007, 5:28 pm
I don't see it is a big issue, maybe because I am also a working mother, the only problem is , that you already think it's not a good idea, but you are looking for someone to convince you the opposite.....
If you already feel it's not fair to the children, don't do it...
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Esther23




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 22 2007, 7:32 pm
It's a hard decision. I think those hours are very hard, you're gonna come home to hungry needy kids and you'll have to jump into busy mode immediately. I know when I come home from work I need to unwind a little and not jump into supper etc... otherwise I go crazy. I usually work till 3:30 but today I had to work till 5:15 and got home at 5:30, it was very overwhelming - everyone is home before you and waiting impatiently for you, I can't imagine doing it every day.

But on the other hand, if it's a very well paying job, I guess it's hard to pass up....... eventually you'll all get used to the schedule. tough decision.
Good Luck!
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amother


 

Post Mon, Jan 22 2007, 8:25 pm
Quote:
But on the other hand, if it's a very well paying job, I guess it's hard to pass up....... eventually you'll all get used to the schedule. tough decision.
Good Luck!


but the kids wont. I think it would be a wise decision to make less money but be there for your kids!
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anon




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 22 2007, 8:32 pm
Amother, you haven't specified how necessary the extra money is. That's definitely a significant factor in making a decision.

You also mentioned that your children are going through a hard time now, but that's a little vague.

If you want people here to try to give informed, thought-out opinions, we need to know more details of the situation. Otherwise, we're just talking hot air.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Jan 22 2007, 9:11 pm
OP here, I am divorced with limited income resources. That, I guess, sums it up. I need the money, but I am really scared that my kids shouldn't suffer for it. I know the right thing to do, is to give up the job, but.....
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BeershevaBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 22 2007, 11:47 pm
Can they go to a neighbor or relative until you come home? Also... how old are the kids?

I was a single, working mom for 5 years and it was rough on all of us. But I had to do what I could to pay the bills and put food on the table.

Most days, I'd toss something into the crockpot in the morning and dinner would be ready by the time I came home. I also made sure to spend time with the kids until bedtime, no matter how tired I was.

It's easy for us to offer advice, but we don't know you, we don't know your kids. It's something you need to decide on your own.
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Mishie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 22 2007, 11:54 pm
Amother - How old are your kids?

If they are young, can you have a woman stay with them until you get home?

(The crock-pot dinner idea is wonderful, then you know that at least you have a nice meal waiting for them, and you will be home very soon.)
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Mitzvahmom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 23 2007, 4:10 am
as a divorced woman.... I think I can relate..

when I first left my ex, I had a job that paid very well.. but I never saw my kids, and I think that it made them heal less quickly and kept me kind of in a bubble. Not having to deal with the fact that Iam a single parent.

now B"H I have a flexible job that understands that I am a single parent, would I like to make more money? OH YEAH! But divorce weights heavy on the entire family, esp kids because now they can feel like pingpong balls.

I am not sure of ur situation, but if you really need this money maybe u can work it out thatur there when they come home, give them hugs and run to work for a couple of hours.

U have to give us more details so we can really understand. I gave up 5 hours so I could go to college, I know that option is not for everyone. B"H it's working for me
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 23 2007, 8:15 am
Do you start later? Can you hve more of a morning with them?
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jan 23 2007, 8:35 am
Op, I hear where you're coming from. Your kids are having a hard time, but does your presence in the afternoon contribute to easing the experience for them? I find that sometimes I'm so nervous with the kids I'm better off being at work and let someone else be home with them. Kids do tend to be more kvetchy and difficult with mother than with someone else.
My own kids behave so much better with the sitter than with me. I wouldn't pass up this offer so fast, but that's me. How about you give it a trial and see how it goes. But I certainly vote for having a girl or woman (must be patient) come to your house as opposed to having the kids go to a neighbor. Tho if the neighbor's home is a calm and loving one that might work. Get a girl who can do homework with them, feed them, and have a good time with them. I have a sitter once a week (a high school volunteer) and she gives my kids such a good time, they love it when she comes. I could see myself being at work and not having to worry about them being taken care of. Last year I paid a high school girl to come every Monday from 4-8 and my kids really loved it! She played school with them, did homework with them, played games, taught them tricks and hobbies, it was grand! She got married and I would love to replace her.
As a single mom the whole burden falls on you. And having a girl come and give them a good time is good for you and for the kids. So if you take the job, at least leave them in good hands and don't feel guilty about it.
Also, would you please rate my post? I like to know how I rate so I can improve my service to the board....
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mimsy7420




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 23 2007, 8:50 am
2-6 is really late. If you have no choice then that is once thing. But to make supper, clean up from supper, put kids to bed etc when you probably won't even get home from work till 6:30 is a bit insane. JMO.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jan 23 2007, 9:25 am
Quote:
I know the right thing to do, is to give up the job, but.....



there u go! thats ure answer. do what u know is right and ull look back and be so happy u did the right thing!! Exclamation
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jan 23 2007, 7:07 pm
OP here

I turned down the job. I did not feel I could be a good mother to my kids, and that has to be my focus right now, more than the money. I am going to see if I can find some type of job, working from home. Hopefully I will be luckier with that!

Thanx everyone for all your advice!!
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Twizzlers




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 23 2007, 7:09 pm
Good for you!

In a couple of years, your kids will thank you.
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hummingbird




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 18 2007, 2:05 pm
not unless your husband is there for your kids when they get home , I would highly suggest you dont work later hours. its not worth the money,kids are priority. my mother was always there for us when we came home from school,and it made a big difference.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Feb 18 2007, 4:25 pm
Quote:
Kids do tend to be more kvetchy and difficult with mother than with someone else.


thats becayuse bh most kids feel most comfortable to act and show thier true feelings to thier mother. OF COURSE its better for the MOTHER to be home when they get home from school!

amother u said u KNOW the right thing to do is drop the job. do the right thing!!!! ull look back and be thankful!
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