Mishloach Manos rant.

rainbow baby

Mon, Feb 19 2007, 11:42 am

DH and I are totally sick of this Mishloach Monas thing, we both think it has gone out of all proportions. Why do you have to give these massive big expensive ones, it is only embarrassing for the person you are giving to because they feel that they have to give more or they feel they have not given enough.
People get into such financial mess because they feel they need to keep up with the Jones. Especially with Pesach around the corner the extra expense is rediculas.
When I moved into my street one of the first things that I was told was that all the neighbours give to each other and I am expected to do the same. Never mind that I have nothing to do with most of them and they have nothing to do with me, but on Purim I am expected to give them.
It's about time too that the Rabbonim say that Mishloach Manos is brought back down to the basic mitzvah and that all these fancy ones should be banded. The money that is wasted should be given to Tzaddakah instead.
After all most people don't really want all that nosh in their houses at the end of the day.

shanie5

Mon, Feb 19 2007, 2:15 pm

you can say that about any holiday, house fixing, school, tzedaka etc....

anybody who feels they have to keep up with the jonses (or rather the cohens) will have this problem. we do what we do cuz we want to do it. not cuz s/o else does.

what will happen if you give a simple MM? will the sky fall? will these neighbors who you dont have much to do w/ stop talking to u? just do what u want to and to h*eck w/ what anybody thinks.

amother

Mon, Feb 19 2007, 2:21 pm

shanie5 wrote:

what will happen if you give a simple MM? will the sky fall? will these neighbors who you dont have much to do w/ stop talking to u? just do what u want to and to h*eck w/ what anybody thinks.

correct. do what you want and to heck with what everybody else thinks of it and you.

gosh, this year we are not even going to be giving food mishloach manot (except for the two required by law) we are going to be sending cards in teh mail - the proceeds go towards matanot levyonim, they take food from leftover parties and hospitals etc and distribute it to the poor and needy.

we realized that that was a MUCH better idea that doing up a big crazy mishloach manot and going into debt and we dont really care what anyone else thinks of that. we do what we do b/c we want to do it and we feel that that is all that matters.

withhumor

Mon, Feb 19 2007, 6:37 pm

The first year that we wanted to keep up with ourselves, we disappeared for Purim, We went out of town and had a blast. We took along 2 MM’s for the mitzvah and left a note on the door “sorry, not home”. We got TWO dropped off by the door. Everyone else must’ve come and then left. B”H after that year, we didn’t get anymore (just a handful) and that solved it. It turned out that the out-of-town trip cost us almost nothing and we had an absolute ball. It’s fun to explore a new town on Purim, all the mothers are relaxed and happy and funky, have a wonderful Purim!

sarahd

Tue, Feb 20 2007, 6:00 am

Ditto for me, Kmelion. I switch off - one year two salads and crackers or (this year) dinner rolls and the next year some assorted baked items, like hamentaschen, rugelach, brownies and grape juice. Neither option costs much.

My mother has been making ptcha plus something else for years - she says whoever doesn't like it is free to pass it on or throw it out. She does what's easy for her and zehu.

batya_d

Tue, Feb 20 2007, 6:14 am

jewishmamathebest wrote:

When I moved into my street one of the first things that I was told was that all the neighbours give to each other and I am expected to do the same. Never mind that I have nothing to do with most of them and they have nothing to do with me, but on Purim I am expected to give them.

I find such "community expectations" abbhorrent-- the Shlach Manos issue was presented to jewishmamathebest by her neighbors as pretty much the rules of land, ie. she couldn't possible be a member of the neighborhood with out speeding oodles of money on ppl. she hardly knows!

When that's the welcome wagon you receieve, I'd have given a second thought to living in tht neighborhood! (Although I realize most frum neighborhoods will have the same mishegaas.

BeershevaBubby

Tue, Feb 20 2007, 6:18 am

jewishmamathebest wrote:

Never mind that I have nothing to do with most of them and they have nothing to do with me, but on Purim I am expected to give them.

if you have nothing to do with one another, then what do you care what they think of your MM... or why should you waste the money on giving to people you have nothing to do with?

On our Yishuv, we used to have communal MM... we give money and depending on how much, we can give to all the families or specific ones. I never participated in it because there are some families here I have nothing to do with and have nothing to do with me and it seems rather hypocritical to suddenly have an interest in them on Purim.

supermom

Tue, Feb 20 2007, 8:35 am

Jewishmama you are so right. This is a little bit off topic hope you don't mind. Someone sent this to me. Thought it was so true. This is a bar mitzvah invitation. Is it true I don't know.

In keeping up with the Rosen's and the Abelson's,

It is with great stress, emotional and physical fatigue and incredible financial sacrifice beyond comprehension,
that we invite you to join us as our wonderful son

Jacob Adam is called to
the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah.

Saturday, May 12th -

(yes we realize its Mother's Day Weekend)

Temple Israel
14 Coleytown Road
Westport, Connecticut 06880

at the ungodly hour of 9 am even though you don't really need to be there until 10:20am to catch the real action.

If you make it through the 3 hour service, please skip the kiddush (its
just cookies and cake) and join us instead for an overly large and ostentatious Kosher (my husband's idea) evening meal, which starts at 7 PM,
(not 8 PM.. or you will miss out on the 2000 canapes).

Birchwood Country Club
25 Kings Hwy S
Westport, CT 06880
(which we had to join just for this event and
you would not believe the initiation fees)

You will be in the presence of lots of
boisterous and expensive entertainment
and 60 to 70 unruly pre-teens wearing expensive dresses, funny hats,

fake bling and brand new white ankle socks...
as well as 80-100 middle aged+ adults, some balding, some with bad toupees, most will be professionally coiffed, designer attire galore, lots of REAL bling, and most "tootsed" to the nines. At least 1/3 will be hormonally challenged and some will act stupid while under the influence. Some will not even know where or who they are. Some will complain about the food. Blah.

Please have the courtesy of showing up if you RSVP that you are attending, or you will be billed for $210.00 a plate if you are a no-show. Please RSVP as soon as you get this and not a day before the cut-off date. I can't take the stress.

The gift of choice is either green, or contains a routing and account number. "Off the top of your head" gifts
and Gift Cards are a waste of your time and ours.

Hope you can make it! Lisa and David Miller

Dress: Black Tie optional
Theme: 007 James Bond

BYO Kippot. I don't have the strength.