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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Last ditch effort to keep daughter out of PS -meeting today
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 30 2014, 2:15 pm
mdoif wrote:
I wasted far too much time on here yesterday, so I'm going to keep iy as short as possible. Apologies to those whose comments I don't address.

My opinion is that sending a Jewish child to PS is absolutely wrong, and should never be considered as an option, even in absence of other options.

I do realize that other posters feel otherwise. Fine. אל תאמר קבלו דעתי - do not force others to accept your opinion. (Avos)

It is because of this that I didn't open any threads exhorting women who send their DC to PS to remove them at once, as such a thread would be pointless. They obviously think it's ok, and anything I write to the contrary would likely be rejected.

In this case the OP asked for advice (or at the very least wanted to discuss her dilemma) before sending her DC to PS. To this I replied in the strongest terms possible that doing so is a terrible choice - basically this option isn't.

At no point did I write anything personally offensive, so I don't see the need to apologize. Yes I condemned the act, but so what, is that wrong?

I understand that some other posters, who already send their kids to PS, might have become insulted by the way I condemned this act. This was not my intention. I never actually spoke to them only to the OP, so in a sense they were eavesdropping on my conversation with the OP.

To summarize, when the OP wrote that she is being forced by callous and wicked school administrators to do the unthinkable, I couldn't in good conscience keep quiet knowing there might still be a chance to save her DD. To my mind sending a Yiddish child to PS is akin to spiritual murder. You can argue whether that is true or not, but please at least accede that if it is true, I had the obligation to try and stop it.

----
I know there are frum Yidden who went through public school, but to use them as poster children makes as much sense as arguing cigarettes are healthy/non-harmful because some smokers lived to a ripe old age. Once again, you can argue with me, but I'm entitled to my opinion - which is actually not so radical.

I have non-Jewish neighbors and non-Jewish workmates, and I'm always polite to them. However being friends is something else. A Yid should be friends with other Yidden.

Why is it no one has a problem with the MOs taking the 'M' part to extremes - you'll find posters writing about all kinds of leniencies - yet when I take a strong stance to uphold the mesorah I'm classed as 'hateful'?


You don't know when to quit . Do you?
I will take MOs of any flavor to socially [crazy] charedim any day of the week
Mdolf
YOU NEED TO GO TO PS , SO YOU CAN SEE THE SCHOOL PSYCOLOGIST AND SOCIAL SKILLS COUNSELOR AT NO CHARGE
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 30 2014, 2:34 pm
naturalmom5 wrote:
You don't know when to quit . Do you?
I will take MOs of any flavor to socially [crazy] charedim any day of the week
Mdolf
YOU NEED TO GO TO PS , SO YOU CAN SEE THE SCHOOL PSYCOLOGIST AND SOCIAL SKILLS COUNSELOR AT NO CHARGE


As the mom of a special needs child, I must object to the use of the term "[crazy]" as a pejorative. As a charedi, I'm not very thrilled with this characterization of my community.
I think we ALL need Emily Post's help here.
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 30 2014, 2:47 pm
I apologize .
" socially skills challenged" member of an orthodoxy that stresses Bain adom lmokom over Bain adom l chavero
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 30 2014, 2:50 pm
naturalmom5 wrote:
I apologize .
" socially skills challenged" member of an orthodoxy that stresses Bain adom lmokom over Bain adom l chavero

An INDIVIDUAL who is choosing to emphasize what she sees as Bain Adom L'Makom over what you see as Bain Adom L'Chavero.
It's possible that she sees it as Bain Adom L'Chavero because she is concerned over stopping her fellow man from making what she sees as an irredeemable error and she is expressing her shock.
The social skills I grant you....You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
debsey
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 30 2014, 2:51 pm
I HATE this. We're getting side-tracked into these "charedi" vs. MO battles when our real concern should be OP.
OP, are you OK? Do you have any updates for us? I'm still hoping someone helps this awful school administration see the light.
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 30 2014, 2:52 pm
Which version of bein adam lchavero encourages calling another person a socially [crazy] chareidi?
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out-of-towner




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 30 2014, 2:53 pm
Mdoif, I know I've hashed this out with you in PM's, but I just want to reiterate it:

Had you come out in a way that was "OP I care for you and I want to help you out." It would have been one thing. The problem is that it didn't come out like that. Not by a long shot! It came out as "you better do it otherwise it will kill your kid." Nothing more than that.

An apology is most definitely in order for a few reasons. The most important one being it IS possible that you hurt someone through your words regardless of your intention or justification in doing so. I know that if C"V I were the OP in this type of position I would have been greatly hurt by your words. Thus, it would be in the best interests of your Olam Haba to apologize.

The other reason? Frankly your reputation here on Imamother! Look, I don't always appreciate the whole PC attitude here on Imamother, but there is a Charedi forum here for a reason. And a Chassidush one, and a Klei Kodesh one if any of those fit your description. And even people over there might just have kids in public school! This is a site with a vast variety of people, not all of who are from such sheltered enclaves like BP or Williamsburg or even Monsey.

So yes, if you want people to take you seriously in the future, I suggest you suck it up and apologize for your attitude and for hurting the OP and anyone who is forced, yes forced, to send their kid to public school.

And apologies if I've sounded too strong, but honestly I've had enough of this!
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 30 2014, 2:53 pm
MaBelleVie wrote:
Which version of bein adam lchavero encourages calling another person a socially [crazy] chareidi?

Thank you. Applause
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Scrabble123




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 30 2014, 3:28 pm
This thread is on its way to being LOCKED!
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