Is it appropriate having a [gentile] for a meal?

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Working Women

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

lotte

Tue, Mar 20 2007, 8:31 am

It’s a question of Halacha that I don’t have the answer for, but besides that I don't know if it is appropriate or not.
My dh & I are working with this guy for years. he is a [gentile] who lives over-seas-he never visited the US.
He was so happy to call us yesterday to tell us he is finally arriving and would love to visit us.He wants to meet for lunch or dinner.
He is arriving Monday morning-the day Peasch starts.
I tried to explain it’s a Jewish holiday and we are extremely busy etc..but he does not seem to understand.
dh suggested we invite him over for a meal. I was shocked.I don’t want my kids to see a [gentile] at our Yom-tov table but this is our only chance to see him(and we better see him if we want to keep on working with him..)
Any solutions?

hadasa

Tue, Mar 20 2007, 8:35 am

How long is he going to be in the US? Can't you invite him for a Chol Hamoed lunch instead?

ssbarnes

Tue, Mar 20 2007, 8:37 am

We have had an open door policy for the first seder. I know that we have had guests that are not Jewish. As long as it is the first seder, I have not cooked for them on the holiday.

If he is coming from overseas, is he going to be in your area for more than a day or two? Your family could meet him for a picnic lunch over Chol Hamoed.

Chani

Tue, Mar 20 2007, 8:44 am

You have to be very careful about non-Jews on yom tov...it is a halacha that you aren't supposed to have non-Jews as guests for yom tov so that you don't come to prepare extra for them. I know, though, that it isn't so simple and black and white (for example, if somebody just shows up maybe you wouldn't be making extra. Another example, when we were close with a woman who was converting but hadn't converted yet, our rav said to invite her but to give her her food beforehand...). My suggestion is to talk to your rav and explain the situation and see what he says.

Marion

Tue, Mar 20 2007, 8:50 am

Davka seder is the one time that non-Jews were NOT welcome at my parents' table.

As others have suggested, why not chol hamoed?

lotte

Tue, Mar 20 2007, 8:54 am

hadasa wrote:

How long is he going to be in the US? Can't you invite him for a Chol Hamoed lunch instead?

Col hamoed he will be gone!He is here in Ny only from Monday to Wednesday.

Raisin

Tue, Mar 20 2007, 9:23 am

You should check with a Rav, but you could probably invite him for one of the day meals but only serve cold food that you cooked before Y't. I doubt he'd want to sit through a seder.

If it is the first seder, as ssbarnes said, you can cook the food b4 y't and leave it warm on the stove.

Think about it though - imagine if you call him and tell him you want to join his family for xmas dinner lhavdil - would he be pleased?

You could also invite him over in the afternoon (you may not be hungary though!) between lunch and seder.

aussiegal

Tue, Mar 20 2007, 9:31 am

You also have to be careful then to only have mevushal wine

Piper

Tue, Mar 20 2007, 11:34 am

HaHa. Re-read the title of this thread.

ssbarnes

Tue, Mar 20 2007, 12:19 pm

That would not be kosher. LOL Thanx for the laugh.

mimsy7420

Tue, Mar 20 2007, 12:22 pm

You should ask a shaila, but not having non-jews at your seder is not as applicable today. Many rabbanim allow it these days. I think Rav Moshe Feinstein has written about it.

iamawife

Tue, Mar 20 2007, 12:54 pm

for the seder? thats really a time where there is alot wine on the table sheiloh for yein nesach

shalhevet

Tue, Mar 20 2007, 3:30 pm

I think the seder is more problematic than any other yomtov meal

כל ערל לא יאכל בו

I remember hearing once that it's also a shaila for chol hamoed (since on chol hamoed you are only allowed to cook for chol hamoed or yomtov or Shabbos immediately after)

Ask your LOR.

Page 1 of 1