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Ta'anis Bechor - what do we do?



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YALT




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 24 2007, 6:12 pm
This is what I was told last Pesach:
Every bechor fasts erev Pesach. We (Lubavitch) holds to make a siyum in order to have a seudas mitzvah, in order to eat.
A father fasts for the oldest son until bar mitzvah. If a father is a bechor, the mother fasts for the oldest son, as the father is already fasting for himself.
My father just told me that when my oldest sister was born, he was told that he has to fast for her as well - because the whole inyan is bec. of macas bechoros - which killed out all firstborns - no matter what (even included firstborn from any mother or any father (even if mother's 2nd child, but first w/ this husband)

Now my questions:
1) Does a/o out there know of this? Do BechorAHs (girls) fast after Bas mitzvah?
2) Does a/o fast for their oldest son, bec. DH is bechor?
Do you go to siyum? (according to Chabad minhag please!)


I looked in Shevach Hamo'adim, and it doesn't say that women fast.
I looked in Alter Rebbe's shulchan aruch and it says we do.
I know we don't always go according to Alter Rebbe's. But I don't know which we do in this situation.

I can't reach a rav.
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ny21




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 24 2007, 6:14 pm
girls do not fast
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gryp




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 24 2007, 6:42 pm
I never heard of fasting for first-born girls, and I never heard of women fasting. Confused
My husband has to fast for our bechor, but he goes to a siyum so he doesn't have to.
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ny21




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 24 2007, 6:43 pm
I never heard of women fasting either.
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Mommy3.5




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 24 2007, 7:08 pm
Just cuase you never heard of girls fasting, doesn't mean they don't. My father went to a siyum every erev peasach for me, (he is not a bechor.) Many hold that since all firstborns were killed in macat bechorot, regardless of gender, all Bechor/bechora's must fast.

Also< It is not a Lubavich thing to have a siyum for taanis bechorot, everyone does it.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 24 2007, 8:43 pm
I have heard it discussed about girls/women fasting, but never saw it practically done.
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 24 2007, 8:54 pm
I've seen it discussed in seforim, but I asked our lubvavitch rav if a)my son was a bechor (bc he was C section) and b) since dh is a bechor, then if ds is also, do I have to fast....

He didn't give an answer to the first question, but he answered the second question that a woman wouldn't fast.
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Marion




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 24 2007, 11:46 pm
My DH is a bechor. He is fervently trying to get through his mishnayot this week, so that he doesn't have to fast, either for himself or for our son. I am a bechora, and was never taught that it applied also to girls. AFAIK, firstborn GIRLS were not killed in the plague.
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YALT




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 3:15 pm
Quote:
I've seen it discussed in seforim, but I asked our lubvavitch rav if a)my son was a bechor (bc he was C section) and b) since dh is a bechor, then if ds is also, do I have to fast....

He didn't give an answer to the first question, but he answered the second question that a woman wouldn't fast.


NJMommy,
About c/s - I have the same issue. And that I was already told - it depends for what. In some cases, he is not considered bechor (ex: Pidyon Haben) but in other situations, he's still considered a bechor (Like in this situation). Therefore, he would need to fast, and a parent for him until bar mitzvah.
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 3:57 pm
Well, I was told that even if he is a bechor, I do not fast for him. DH is already fasting for himself. Maybe different rabbonim rule differently on women fasting for their sons.
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BrachaVHatzlocha




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 4:05 pm
we've had this shaila - I forgot the answer! I think I was nursing, so I was told not to fast.
My husband is a sefek b'chor (possible b'chor - because his mother had a miscarriage before him) so he fasts.
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gryp




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 25 2007, 6:02 pm
YALT- look again in the Alter Rebbe's Shulchan Aruch. It says:

A) There is an opinion that girls fast, but we do not do that.
B) If the husband is a b'chor, the woman should fast for her b'chor (son), but she does not have to if it causes her any type of tza'ar- a small tza'a'r is enough to be a tza'ar- or nursing or pregnant. If a woman fasted once, she has to have a heter not to fast again.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2007, 8:03 am
I don't fast. I've read about women fasting but never seen it done. I've also never seen women fasting for their first born, only guys.
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mimsy7420




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2007, 8:11 am
That's weird, I thought only first born males were killed in the plague. I never heard of girls fasting.
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shopaholic




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2007, 8:28 am
DH is a bechor. He goes to a siyum in shul so he doesn't fast & DS started going with him last year when he was almost 6.
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YALT




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2007, 6:27 pm
Quote:
YALT- look again in the Alter Rebbe's Shulchan Aruch. It says:

A) There is an opinion that girls fast, but we do not do that.
B) If the husband is a b'chor, the woman should fast for her b'chor (son), but she does not have to if it causes her any type of tza'ar- a small tza'a'r is enough to be a tza'ar- or nursing or pregnant. If a woman fasted once, she has to have a heter not to fast again.



GR,
I'm sorry, I forgot to include that part. But I didn't really think it was relevant.
I'm not pregnant nor nursing.
Is being hungry enough of a tza'ar to not have to fast? I mean, the idea of a fast isn't just until you get hungry.
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gryp




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 27 2007, 8:30 am
I'm obviously not a Rav, Yalt, I could just read and translate. The Alter Rebbe seems to be saying that any kind of slight tza'ar is a good enough reason not to fast. Ask a Rav what that means.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 27 2007, 1:46 pm
The Rebbe used to fast. One time DH didn't have a siyum and fasted also.
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