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Open House????



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amother


 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 7:27 pm
I have always been proud of having an open house policy. I have very rarely said no to people wanting to get away or just simply needing a place to stay. Until now.

On chol hamoed sukkos, someone who my DH had met years ago, asked him if he can come to us for yom tov. My DH said sure, no problem. We shuffled some people around to be able to make room for him, as we had a few other people too. Its six weeks later, and I dont know how to get rid of him.

Came last week Wednesday, an old guy approached my DH in shul, saying he nowhere to go, can we please put him up for a few days, till Sunday. Against my better judgement, I said ok after telling my DH I wasn't too happy about it. The only place I was able to put him, was in the same room as the other person. on Motzaei Shabbos, The old guy approached me, telling me he can't sleep with the other guy, because he talks too much. I told him Im really sorry, but I don't have any other place. Bottom line, he decided to stay till Wednesday. He doesnt stop complaining, telling me to give him another room.


I Miss my sense of privacy, being home alone every so often. Im not interested in making conversation with people every time I walk into the public areas of my house. I dont want to have to make suppers on a night that I dont have energy for.

I have a house full of kids ranging from teens to toddlers. (and thats besides the married kids who come over every so often. I work full time. Im just tired of guests. Any advice on how to nicely tell people to leave?(before I get frustrated at them(till now Ive been letting it out on my DH, who has no advice)
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rosenbal




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 7:42 pm
I had a guest like thst once...sent him packing after a week. Don't ask. The people wjo asked us to take him had to tske him themselves until they finally threw him out somehow. We're not generally open house though...

This isn't a helpful comment, I know, but since having children, I would be extremely wary of strangers or other random (male) adults moving freely through my house. There is NO guarantee of safety (at least not in my mind). How are you ok with that?
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amother


 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 7:48 pm
Learn to say no.

And no more.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 7:57 pm
Whoooo, boy!
1.. invite your parents or your married-with-umpteen-children siblings, and tell Squatters A and B that you're terribly sorry, but they must leave now because you need the room for family.

2. Present them with a bill for room and board for every day they have stayed beyond the originally agreed-upon "visit".

3.Call an exterminator to bomb the house, which requires all human occupants to vacate the premises.

4. Call a locksmith to change the locks while they're in shul or otherwise out of the house, and then instruct all family members not to let these men in the house, on pain of being fed nothing but salt-free canned spinach for the next month.

5. Tell the squatters they must earn their keep. Hand them each a long to-do list and the tools which to do it all. No food till you have inspected and approved of each job. Watch them vanish!

6. Give the homeless guy contact info for a social-services agency that helps the homeless, and a quarter for a public phone.

7. Tell these people that they have outstayed their welcome and must leave NOW. If they are still there tomorrow morning you will personally collect their belongings and leave them on the sidewalk to be picked up with the trash. AND THEN DO IT.
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Dina_B613




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 8:33 pm
Instead of just telling your husband and us how annoyed you are, and then exploding and throwing their stuff in a bag, why don't you tell these gentleman that you are no longer able to host them after day x.

As for the complainer - boundaries. "Sorry, I can't do anything about that." Just keep repeating that to him.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 8:48 pm
Tell them by x time you need to leave because you need that room. They're never going to leave if you allow it to continue. Be firm and show them your serious. Have dh talk to them also. I admire you for putting up with it for so long!
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penguin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 9:50 pm
I would stop serving meals. Send your kids to a relative to eat dinner for a few days. Don't stock the fridge. And if they ask, just say, "so sorry, we can't afford to buy food".
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amother


 

Post Mon, Dec 01 2014, 10:31 pm
Has OP tried telling them to leave? It just seems like she's getting annoyed with her guests but hasn't even made up her mind that its time for them to leave. And then to actually tell them to.

Reading it again, it seems she's asking for advice how to tell them, not how to throw them out...
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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 02 2014, 12:28 am
How do your kids feel?

My parents once invited a stranger to stay in out house. All of the kids locked their bedroom door and moved furniture against it. We were scared in our own home. My parents were busy with the "chesed" and how it can teach us lessons for life, so they ignored the terror in our eyes.

If your kids are scared, call a jewish organization in your neighborhood and have them removed this minute.
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